what are the odds of him forgiving me?

[bananashake]

I mean it when I say that I was a very NICE and supportive gf to him until the end.

 

He was not so warm to me. He would often ignore my calls/texts for days at a time, and then he'd come crawling back. Once, he flat out dropped me cold without any warning and did not talk to me until 4 weeks later - he'd hang up when I called, blocked me from FB, blocked my texts - I had no idea what happened. When he finally called to apologize, he said he thought that dumping me like that would be the easiest way for him AND I to move on. He dumped me because he *thought* I was going to cause problems between he and his exW. He then pleaded for me to come back. I agreed to meet him for dinner, and after dinner, we had a quick makeout session. I was happy to have him back!! A couple days later, he called me at noon and asked if I would make him and his kids my specialty dish that evening. I got there at the time we agreed on, and when he opened the door, he was cold and said: "Oh. You can still make it if u want, but the kids got hungry and so we ate at McDonalds a couple hours ago, none of us are very hungry right now." I had it. I went out of MY way to get all the ingredients, groceries pots, etc to bring over to his house, and he couldn't even call me to let me know that he was taking his kids out to eat 2 hours before this? I was sick of him treating me like this and I promptly left, fuming all the way home.

 

When I got home, I called him and let out ALL of my frustrations in a VM. A years worth of frustrations. From how he treats me, to how he never walks his dogs, to how he is a crappy father for constantly belittling one of his kids, while praising the other. I JUST HAD IT and LET IT ALL OUT!! Ten minutues later, he called and told me to stay away from him and his kids. I called him psycho. He replied "no, your psycho". we hung up. A few days later, I called him because I wanted my things back. He'd quickly hang up. I'd call again, he'd quickly hang up. I'd call again. I was not "acting out" by calling him. He then sent me an email tha said if I call him again, he is getting a restraining order on me.

 

Now that it's been several weeks, do you think he feels any guilt for how he treated me over the course of our relationship? Do you think he understands why I snapped during that VM and maybe understand where I was coming from when I left it? I don't expect him to call me, I just wonder if he feels any guilt at all now that the dust has settled.

[agent1607307371]

Of course he doesn't feel guilty. He thinks you're a psycho and probably is telling people that that is why he dumped you.

 

You can see it in the things you typed about him.

 

You feel bad because he finally pushed you to your limit. But in honesty, your limit should have been when he would just ignore you.

[bananashake]

yup, I should have left the first time he ignored me. but matters of the heart are always so difficult ;-)

[Lansing]

Yeah, I think you should stop thinking about what "he thinks" about you. It was a toxic relationship. If the stuff he has of yours is easily replaceable I wouldn't bother contacting him again.

 

I think you know what you need to do next time around that you meet a guy that doesn't treat you right. Hopefully next time it will be a great guy but from this experience you know that it is best to end a bad relationship than stay in one!

[JA0371]

Wow...so much about thins screams 'dysfunction'. This guy sounds like a complete head case. Why did you put up with all that? No offense intended here..but YOU taught this guy that you would put up with his nasty behavior. Saying you were 'nice' to him after all of this just really makes you seem desperate to be honest. You weren't 'nice' ..you were a doormat. Now you care what HE thinks of you?? You are still giving this guy control. Who CARES what he thinks???? The guy sounds like a complete loser at best. You should be thanking your lucky stars you are rid of him! Seriously...let this go. It's a waste of your time and energy that you could be using on someone more worthy!

[bananashake]

thank u everyone!! I guess I posted this b/c I wanted confirmation that he is the loser, not me. I am a ball of nerves after this rship and I question everything because he constantly told me that I was the one with all the issues. Even though I knew a lot of things weren't "normal" with how he deals with things, I started to believe him! But my bff and mom were slapping me behind the head, saying, NO HE IS THE ONE WITH THE ISSUES. I was/am so confused.

[Liraele]

Mm, he pushed you to your limit. Not particularly surprising. We all have a 'snap' point.

 

Will he forgive you? Who knows. The bigger question is... why do you care, after the way he was? His opinion of you is irrelevant.