jeanettelee Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Sometimes I find it really hard to accept the fact that I am this person who has these evils thoughts from time to time. And I really don't get why I am always of critical of others. Seriously, who am I to judge others? At the same time I am very harsh on myself too. I just don't see why I can't loosen up a bit and care less about everything. I also find myself always jealous of people. I seriously want to be a nicer person. It's not like I do anything concrete to harm anyone. It's just I don't even want myself to have evil thoughts. Like when some mean girls break up with their boyfriends (who I assume are loyal) I'd be really happy about it. I just don't know what to do and what to think. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Once you learn to respect and value yourself, things will change. Why not try to do for others: get involved with volunteering. You could also do things to improve your life, such as taking courses in school. You need to be happy with who you are, until you do, things will continue down the same path. Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 Hollyj: Yes I have been volunteering. And then I came to this conclusion that I could be used and exploited by some not-so-good charities. I don't know what I am thinking. I think I have been quite a nice person growing up. But people keep telling me I'm being used. And then I become over critical of everything. I seriously want to help people without thinking too much. And yet I'm afraid of myself stupidly being used. you know what I'm trying to say? thanks for your reply. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Yes! But until you establish boundaries in your life, nothing will change. This is about you and how you view yourself, when boundaries are present, the respect will come. If something does not feel right, it is time to extricate yourself from the situation. Hon, if you don't respect yourself, then no one else will. Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 Hollyj: establishing boundaries... I don't get it it sounds so abstract. explain? please? thanks Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Boundaries: not allowing others to take advantage. Look out for your own interests. Don't allow people to treat you like a doormat. Google: establishing boundaries in your life. I'm certain you will come up with a great deal of info. Are you a 'yes girl?' Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Hollyj: haha thanks for the explanation and Sadly, yes, I am a yes girl. Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 And what about my evil thoughts? Should I accept the fac that I have this evil side of me? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Things will change when you have more respect for yourself; it runs hand in hand. If you are happy with you, you will not be critical of others. I think it's time to understand why you are a "yes girl" and lack boundaries. Do the work on yourself and good things will come-most of these behaviors are a result of our upbringing and how we value ourselves. Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 ahhhhh i kinda get it now i have always been neglected ...I think. And I'm in some sense kinda... giving up myself. Instead of seeking for attention... I just want to avoid making mistakes or offending anyone. 'cause I don't want to be hated or even more neglected. i dont even know if it makes sense now Link to comment
Moontiger Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Hi Jeanettelee, Why not make an appointment with a therapist to tell these thoughts to? They would be able to give you insight into why you think the way you do and give your strategies to breaking those thought cycles. I had to break some terrible thought cycles I didn't even know I had until I went to therapy. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Hi Jeanettelee, Why not make an appointment with a therapist to tell these thoughts to? They would be able to give you insight into why you think the way you do and give your strategies to breaking those thought cycles. I had to break some terrible thought cycles I didn't even know I had until I went to therapy. Totally agree. Until you deal with this feeling of inadequacy, you will remain in the same place. Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Hi Moontiger, I'm already meeting a counselor regularly. But sometimes in between appointments I still get caught up in unnecessary thoughts like this just cant help it Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Hollyj and Moontiger: AH I need to tell my counselor next time about this feeling of being inadequate and stuck in these terrible thought cycles. I'm really inarticulate in person. Everytime I get carried away with some other stuff and never get to tell her my problems. Thanks. You two have helped me to pinpoint my problems which I failed to pinpoint for the longest time.. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Please write them down. This will help you stay focused Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 funny, i have similar thoughts. i know it's bad to be soooo judgemental, but i am anyway. and not just of other people, of myself too. i don't know how to stop. it's not like anything i think is particularly 'wrong', it's just not very nice... Link to comment
jeanettelee Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Hollyj: done thanks really pinkelephant: nice name btw. i love elephants haha yea same same. it's just not nice. but really can't help it but do people tell you to be less judgmental? Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Hollyj: done thanks really pinkelephant: nice name btw. i love elephants haha yea same same. it's just not nice. but really can't help it but do people tell you to be less judgmental? well, i know to keep those thoughts to myself now! lol when i did though, yes, definitely. Link to comment
mgirl Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I hope i'm not compounding anything, but this white, repressed and sanctimonious angelo saxon annoys me. Who said it is 'right' to be so good? I've lived the whole 'good comes to those who wait' thing for so long and guess what? It doesn't. So don't worry about the occassional 'evil' (in their words) thought you may occassionally have. Why not give it a go and see if you don't got to hell? I know i am (and, somebody try to stop me. Go on). Link to comment
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