JonasWaingaro Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 lol Harsh indeed! I'm fine. Be disappointed but don't be gutted. She's not the source of your happiness nor will she save you. Ya know? Self-fulfilling prophecies will drive you batty as well. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 she has shown you interest. she texted you while traveling. that's a big thing. she is not even back yet and you are already stressing. unlike for you, there are other things keeping her mind busy - which doesn't say anything about her interest level, only that she is not obsessing about you. you cannot live your whole day in expectation to hear from a person who you don't even know that well yet. the world is not defined by your interaction with this person. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 I was worried as she became distant as the holiday mention. I can't disagree with anything you've said, it is unhealthy and unattractive, I don't though think all of my fears are self made though. I've watched her texts become more distant. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Penelope, I can hear you getting angry with me, I'm sorry I frustrate you x Link to comment
quirky Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Quirky, I consider myself told, bit harsh perhaps but I guess no holding back sometimes helps. aw, I promise you I am not telling you off. I only wanted to help you focus on the practical rather than the emotional. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'm not angry with you, I don't have a reason. However it pains me how you can't stop yourself looking at everything from a negative point of view. It's such a sad way of life. try this exercise: write down what you feel/ think. then rewrite each statement as if it was written by an optimist. you need to get out of your own head and its negativity/ the glass-is-half-empty-vs-half-full mentality Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Quirky, I'm not too good at disconnecting from emotional thought, thanks for trying though. Penelope, it a very sad way of life and one I don't see getting better any time soon. I've tried to tell you that I'm pathetic. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 And I'm telling you that you suffer from depression, but that you can do something about it. It's not easy, but you can retrain your brain to healthier thought patterns. But YOU need to make that decision of being proactive about it. And you need to fight the sad moments, rather than just throw up your hands in the air and give up. Did you look at the website I suggested? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 The one about thought stopping? Not yet, on my phone and so its difficult Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 post #68 - when you have a bit of time. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes that's the one, I just took a quick look, you Australian? Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Have you considered meditation and/or breathing exercises? They can help clear and focus your mind. I agree you should look into thought stopping. It's not overly complicated but works well. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 No, I'm not Australian - but I think it's a good website Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Thanks Jonas, I've not considered either, I'm due to start seeing a therapist in Thursday, I just hope she likes a challenge. It seems strange to say but although I'm negative and sad I really do want to change, if I could have the confidence I have in work out of it I'd be the happiest MAN alive. I'm seriously messed up buddy. Sorry Penelope, no insult intended, just noticed the sites routes. Having had a quick look at the content ill see what the therapist says on Thursday first before I push in with it as it appears to be in the same field. Thanks though. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'm not insulted in the least, why would you think that? - I don't want to push you to anything, but I only made the suggestion to keep your mind busy till you have the opportunity to see the therapist on Thursday. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Have you ever sat down and figured why, or what makes you so confidant at work? Because whatever that is, is inside you and can be channeled to every aspect of your life. If you're willing to look deep and see what that something is and use it. Right? Therapist or not, you can start looking into these techniques and seeing if they work. None are particularly invasive or contrary to therapy. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Because you smiled at the end, I was just messing I don't feel pushed so please don't worry, I will take a look at it as I do need help. How old are you all BTW, just wondering what age group I'm pouring my heart out to. I'm 39. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Jonas I have no idea why I am the way I am at work or the way I am when out of it but it would be fair to say I am a real life jekyll & Hyde. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 You wear a cape?! Coolio! hehe Well maybe put some thought into that then. Must be some reason. So well worth examining. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Jonas, how old are you mate? Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Young enough or old enough to help if I can. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Sounds like the perfect age. Would you send me a new mind please, one that doesn't attach to someone after 2 dates thus setting me up for lots of hurt, this mind must also be self confident and not know what anxiety, hurt, obsessing, fear of loss and co dependency even mean. I want to be normal mate, I want to find live, slowly and want to make someone the happiest girl in the world. Is that to much to ask? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 Text her this morning and nothing at all back. I'm really upset Link to comment
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