Boyfriend says he likes me a lot romantically...but is not in love with me.

[July88]

I just broke up with my boyfriend for this same reason. I was in love with him, he was not, so I just decided to let him go. And it was not easy, at least for me. Mostly because he was really nice to me and I always felt he cared about me (still does or at least he says he does), and never wanted to deliberately hurt my feelings, but I just couldn't be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about me!! We've been together for only more than half-year and I had a lot of doubts that maybe I should be more patient, give him some time, etc. But then again I think this time is enough to start having feelings for each other than liking.. He said he only was in love once and he got hurt badly so now he's cautious, but I don't understand it, it was like ages ago!! I even asked him, if there is something wrong with me, that he can't love me, but he just said it's his problem and I'm 'just right'. He was just not 'in love yet'.. We come from different countries, and all of his previous girlfriends were from his homeland, so I thought maybe that was a problem, and he agreed that by some sense it was (he's conservative and quite a bachelor already) and still he was hoping that he will fall in love some day.. But what if he wouldn't?? What if my feelings would have grown stronger and he would just stay in the same place or worse.. One day would have finally realised that I'm not 'the one'? I would be devastated! Too many 'what if's' for me I know some people would say that it's not reason enough to give up on someone you love, BUT it hurts like hell when you tell a man 'I love you' and all he can tell you back is 'I care about you a lot'.. I guess we both saw 'love' differently, for me it's the need to be with that person and feeling right with him, while for him?? maybe he was waiting for butterflies? But why would he need those when he told me he enjoyed every moment he spent with me and that I was 'wonderful'.. I was so confused and still are even when it's already over and there is no way back (we are friends however), I still sometimes think that maybe it was a mistake to leave him, but I was so NOT happy after he told me it's NOT love. Now looking back I think that I was so naive not seeing that he was not ready for the relationship, but he treated me so well! Sorry for ranting, I just needed to share I guess.. Still hurts

 

P.S. sorry for my english as well, i'm not a native speaker.