brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Hello all, Hope you are all well! So im pretty much forced into acting out a romantic relationship with a man i have fallen in love with in my head. That is the only way the relationship can exist. I cannot spend time with this person and I can never be with this person either. I can only speak to this person through text messages, but that has to stop now, I cant speak to him anymore. There is no point small talking with him, and not being able to say what i want to. I have to forget about this man, and accept it can never happen. I need to let it go. I have created the relationship me and him will never be able to have, in my imagination for the past few months. Its weird and there is no point in doing this to myself anymore. I feel trapped and frustrated and anxious and wasteful etc etc. I just need to forget him forever, even though i feel things for him that are so special and we are so perfectly suited to each other and its such a shame something so beautiful can never happen. The reason being: I am married to a the most perfect wonderful loving man already. I could never ruin such a wonderful relationship i have with my husband, because of this other man i feel i have fallen for. I will not be a cheater, even though thinking about this other man is classed as emotional cheating. But i know it is wrong, and i am not going to do it again. I need to get a grip, have some class and self control. My husband is so perfect and loves and appreciates me in a way nobody else could. I just feel many things right now...And i needed to share it. Nobody else knows. Can anyone relate, offer advice or opinions? Please help Thank you xoxoxoxo Link to comment
DN Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 If your husband is so perfect why did you start this text romance in the first place? Link to comment
brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 If your husband is so perfect why did you start this text romance in the first place? It isnt a text romance. I have not once gave him any indication that I have developed something for him. He doesnt even know. Nobody does. And this isnt something i started or wanted to start either. I knew him as an acquaintence and started seeing him more through work collegues etc. He was just a friend. And then suddenly, i fell for him. I know it would be complete idiocy to leave my husband to pursue this. I know better than that. I just am having trouble making sense of what is happening right now. I find this man so irresistible, and I know he would absolutely love to be my partner. Link to comment
DN Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 OK but the essence of the question remains - why is he so irresistible if your husband is so perfect. You say he loves and appreciates you but you don't say that you love and appreciate him. Link to comment
brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 OK but the essence of the question remains - why is he so irresistible if your husband is so perfect. You say he loves and appreciates you but you don't say that you love and appreciate him. Well i am extremely appreciative of him for being such a great person to me and accepting me and supporting me totally. I appreciate that so much. I appreciate all he does and i feel so lucky to have found him. I dont feel that overly strong butterflies/chemistry with my husband though. I know its a more mature lasting love, with all the essential elements. Everything is perfect with me and my husband. So i dont understand why I am feeling like this towards this other man. I feel so guilty too. I just cant help it. Link to comment
brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Its weird, but i feel like i NEED this other man. I feel like he was also meant for me, as well as my husband. Just in different ways, Sigh, i feel like a fool. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Its weird, but i feel like i NEED this other man. I feel like he was also meant for me, as well as my husband. Just in different ways, Sigh, i feel like a fool. You need a fantasy, yes. It's not fair to compare what you feel for your husband to what you feel for someone you know you can never be with -meaning, never the downsides, never the chance even of the chemistry fading or the spark needing to be revived -in short, no work, all fantasy. Why do you need a fantasy so badly? What passions are you pursuing in your personal life -meaning outside of your marriage and not romantic ones? Maybe it's time to get a life? Link to comment
brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 You need a fantasy, yes. It's not fair to compare what you feel for your husband to what you feel for someone you know you can never be with -meaning, never the downsides, never the chance even of the chemistry fading or the spark needing to be revived -in short, no work, all fantasy. Why do you need a fantasy so badly? What passions are you pursuing in your personal life -meaning outside of your marriage and not romantic ones? Maybe it's time to get a life? I dont feel it is right to fantasize about others. It is pretty much cheating. Its wrong. And it shouldnt be necessary. I am putting a stop to this stupidity with this other man. I just dont understand why i feel this way. Its totally taken me by surprise. Get a life? Thats a bit harsh. I have a very rich life. Im a very passionate person and pursue many things such as art, music, literature, science etc. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I didn't mean it harshly but typically if someone is at the point you are it's in part because she's bored. I don't think fantasizing is cheating in the least. You didn't promise never to think about another man when you took your vows- you just promised not to act on it. But the level of fantasizing you describe probably will hurt your ability to relate in a healthy and loving way to your husband. Link to comment
whynotme8826 Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Years ago a friend played out a similar scenario and once discovered, she lost the fantasy man, her husband and her family. But, only you can decide if the risk is worth the price you might have to pay. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" Link to comment
DN Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I note that you still don't say that you love your husband - perhaps it's time to turn that passion toward him because at the moment he is being cheated out of his share of a loving relationship. Link to comment
DN Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 This thread does not seem to match with this one in almost any respect: Link to comment
brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 This thread does not seem to match with this one in almost any respect: ] That is because I borrowed my sisters account to post this. I tried to make my own account but accused me of using a "proxy" and wouldnt allow me to post anything Link to comment
brokenheartedone Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Thanks everyone for the advice and insight. Keep it coming please. Ill write back to you individually when I get back home. Thanks again Link to comment
DN Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 We do not allow members to share accounts. Please contact the administrator about creating you own account. Thread closed Link to comment
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