Is there anyone on this site who is the dumper?

[if only]

I see alot of people on here who have been dumped but hardly anyone who did the dumping.

 

If you were the dumper please answer these questions....

 

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

2) Why you ended it?

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

4) Did you get back together?

 

I still dont understand the reasons my ex gave me for ending it and to be honest I dont really need to know anymore, but I am still intrigued to how he felt at the time.

[DopeStar]

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

4.5 years

 

2) Why you ended it?

She was being a selfish (insert profanity here) or you can search my posts(the first 20 are probly the best) and see what kind of wreck she turned me into from her devious actions.

 

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

Well it wasnt my first choice but it had to be done for my own self respect and dignity, at first I did but latly I find that its becoming the choice for the best.

 

4) Did you get back together?

4 months later we are talking and have slept together a few times, she angers me more then anything else anymore, I lost respect for her, shes still selfish but now shes even more annoying about it(calls everyday to hang out and wants to be an exclusive couple again) and its not going to work out.

 

Edit: Something I had typed was a bit misleading, its fixed now.

[SilverSurfer]

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

 

for about 8 months

 

2) Why you ended it?

 

we kept on fighting and there just didn't seem an end to the problems. each time when things seemed to get better, it was only temporary and eventually she crossed certain lines that she shouldn't have, and i just gave up trynig.

 

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

 

it hurt me alot, the way it ended, and the fact it ended. i spent the next 6 months agonising over what happened, and still do, albeit to a much smaller degree. despite having been the dumper, much of what has been written about the dumpees feelings is what i've also experienced. i had to end the relationship because it reached a point where i could no longer tolerate what was happening.

 

4) Did you get back together?

 

i expressed my intention of wanting to, an some indeterminate point in the future. i tried to remain friends with her, after a brief period of NC, but things just fell apart 3 days i tried to talk to her once more.

[ComputerGuy]

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

About 6 months

 

2) Why you ended it?

She cheated on me, having unprotected sex with 2 complete strangers in a car someone whilst I was in hospital. She also lied about her views on a lot of things such as sex and love, which are a big thing for me.

 

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

Not by a longshot

 

4) Did you get back together?

See above.

[vfunkera]

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

Around 5 months (yea, i don't really go much longer with girls)

 

2) Why you ended it?

I didn't trust her. My gut feeling told me she lied to me a lot, and she was manipulative. She also knew and hung out with too many guys for my liking. She said she was a virgin (and i believed it) and took away my virginity.

 

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

No. If i had the chance and wasn't a considerate gentleman, next time i see her i would swing 3 punches in her direction. Her chasing and playing games since the final break up has only reassured me of our positions.

 

4) Did you get back together?

Yes. Everytime we broke up, she invited me round to her bedroom, and we end up making out there. After the big big break up, which i confirmed face to face, she put me on the spot and forced me to give her a second chance. 2 months later, i told her by text if she dresses up real sexy and goes for a drink in the centre of the city with an 'old guy mate', but then 'forgets' about our date (yes with her boyfriend) the next day friday night, she can take a hike.

 

We'e slept together a few times since, but i've told her i regret having her as a girlfriend, and can do better (ouch).

[purple_monster]

1. 3+ years, with an additional couple years off and on before that.

2. It's a long story. Suffice to say, we had communication difficulties compounded with a year of being on opposite coasts and him choosing a really difficult career path that left him with no time to work on our relationship.

3. I don't know yet. it was only a month ago. It's not fun to breakup with someone you love, and I thought about it long and hard. I agree with SilverSurfer -- I can share a lot of the dumpee's feelings, only I know it's really my doing.

4. Again, I won't know. Maybe in another 6 months or a year. No time soon -- it would be too soon and everything would be the same.

[edgecrusher96]

1) 3 months

 

2) Substantial age difference (12 years)

Different long-term goals and life circumstances

Interracial relationship/culture clashes

Very different socioecomic backgrounds

Feeling inferior due to my younger age and less life experience

Pressure to 'grow up' too fast

Wanted freedom to grow at my own pace and explore what's out there (I'm referring to life opportunities, not other guys!) without being tied down by a serious exclusive relationship

 

3) No, I think it was an amicable and fair decision based on incompatibility

 

4) I wouldn't mind staying friends but I don't see us getting back together. I think there are plenty of women out there who can have a much more compatible relationship with him.

[BigAl]

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

 

Together for 5 years. I began thinking about leaving a year into the relationship. Wish I had ended the relationship then and not waited.

 

2) Why you ended it?

 

It was not a happy or healthy relationship. She was looking for someone to take care of her. I didn't know when we met that she had been kicked out by her boyfriend and looking for a place to live. She lied and stole from me from the beginning. She never worked, yelled all the time, and liked to hit.

 

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

 

Never have I regretted ending the relationship. The only regrets I have today is that I let her continue to use and manipulate me for almost a year after it was over.

 

4) Did you get back together?

 

Not even for a little while. Once I left, it was over for good. I am now involved in a very healthy, happy, and loving relationship. The way I have always wanted to be in a love relationship. We are engaged and getting married next July.

 

I only want to add that she has still not moved on. She continues to try and make things difficult for me and my new relationship. I don't let her bother me. She is making her own choices for her own life. She is the only person responsible for the miserable way she is living. I don't hate her, I don't love her, or feel sorry for her, or think about her. I really don't have any feelings one way or another about her. Complete indifference. She can do what she wants but she cannot hurt me, my fiancée, or our life together. I don't deny that she is hurting but I don't want to hear about it.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with ending an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. Nothing was ever going to change because people are the way they are. Not machines that can be fixed. We just weren't the two people who could experience real love together. I know that I can experience real love because I am now. She can have the same thing but first she has to learn to love herself first.

[Cecil de Volange]

1) Im intrested in how long you were together?

Answer: Almost half a year...

 

2) Why you ended it?

Answer: he was becoming verbablly abusive, and I wanted to save me us from our depressing relationship. I recall my psychology professor's lecture "If you know, it's not going to work out you have have to let them go no matter how much you love the person."

 

3) Did you regret ending the relationship?

Answer: Apart of me did because I was all alone, but It was for the sake of both of us. I Still love him with all my heart. Probably if you read my story "I'M GOING INSANE" you would understand my traumatic events. Its posted, just look for it.

4) Did you get back together?

Answer: NO, I wanted to, but I asked myself "why pursue a thing called "Love" that does not exist in his heart?"

[trypanosoma]

1) How long were you together?

We've been together for about three months

 

2) Why you ended it?

The same reasons as edgecrusher96. My ex physically abused me once, but abused me emotionally multiple times. He lied to me about his age, later finding out that he was 12 years older. Mine was also an interracial relationship, so there were many culture clashes. He was really jealous, so the relationship was off to a bad start.

 

3) Do you regret ending the relationship?

Not at all, I regret not ending the relationship after the second month. I felt relieved after the breakup, so I didn't go through the pain most people went through after a breakup.

 

4) Did you get back together?

Nope, getting back together isn't worth it; if it didn't work out in the first place, what are the chances of it working out the second?