Blondiegirl Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I recently got a friend request ( I only add people who are in my network) and I had never met this guy before but since he was in my network and we had some mutual friends I added him. I get a message from him saying hey how are you? I said fine thank you for asking. Eventually he says what are you doing on Wednesday? I said I am not sure just yet why do you ask? He said I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime. I thought it was a nice gesture and I am debating on whether I should follow through or not. First off I would be meeting him in a public place so no worries there. Second of all I have this weird quirk where I think someone has a ulterior motive like why would he message me and ask me out? Is it a joke date? ( I have low self-esteem) or does he want something sexually? He gave me his mobile number ( which I haven't called him yet) Again worrying if he is some sort of weirdo but I did a search on his name and besides a traffic violation he seems to have checked out ok. I just keep obsessing and obsessing thinking is he pulling a joke on me? Link to comment
camus154 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I remember in the good old days, you met someone in real life, thought they were cute, and asked them out without any kind of background check. Now I read what you kids go through for a "social life" and can't help but laugh. Link to comment
luminousone Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 First off I would check with your friends that know him personally to get the scoop on him. Just because he is fb friends with people you know doesn't mean they know him personally. Then plan on meeting him in a public place for sure but best for coffee so that you have a quick out if he is not a match. I wouldn't think it is a joke but I also would not get my hopes up too high since this is essentially a blind date. Good luck Link to comment
xiRoCb294 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I don't know.... I wouldn't go out with him if I were you... I mean, it's pretty sketchy that a guy that you've never even met added you and wants to ask you out. He doesn't know anything about you weird. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 But he's a friend of a friend on facebook! Walk forward into this with both eyes open, possibly grow a third one on your forehead. Link to comment
TearsofFate Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 camus157: I found what you wrote a bit mean/rude of you to say. She was asking for advice and you only commented to laugh at the situation rather than helping. Anyway, I think you should be cautious as you should with any online dating. Maybe you could ask some of your other friends on facebook who this guy is and whether he's a nice guy or not. It sounds like he asked you out really fast, which isn't always a good sign. He might be just looking for sex, or maybe be asks any girl out, so it comes quickly to him now. You never know, be cautious with this one. I suggest asking some of the mutual friends for more opinions on this one. Link to comment
Generation Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 What do you think of him from his facebook? What do you think of him in general? You must have some opinion. Link to comment
TheSpoon2Big Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 It sucks being in say, your early 20s now days when it comes to dating. Do you want to meet at a bar or nightclub? Eh. If you're out of college, it's sometimes hard to find yourself around similar aged social groups aside from any you've already formed. Chances are, you work with a lot of older professionals if you're in that kind of field. And do you want to date people you work with? Probably not... I guess with the advent of the internet, a lot of people have turned to internet dating. But if you're a guy and you come onto a girl, you're a creep. Granted, Facebook isn't a dating website and so people aren't on there for the sole purpose of dating. BTW, what ever happened to MySpace? It used to be a lot easier to meet people over there lol I don't know OP. Yea, it does seem a little too soon. It'd be one thing if you guys were talking more and found out some more about each other and stuff in common. But who knows, you might just want to take a chance. What ever happened to those days, like someone said? I'm sure everyone here has seen The Notebook. The funniest thing to me is could you imagine the way the guy hits on the girl in the beginning nowadays? She would put a restraining order on him! lol Link to comment
Perrin83 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I don't know.... I wouldn't go out with him if I were you... I mean, it's pretty sketchy that a guy that you've never even met added you and wants to ask you out. He doesn't know anything about you weird. In actuality, if OP has even basic information up on her facebook, the guy asking her out already knows more about her than someone who approaches her at a bar and asks her out You're missing the point that social networking sites help you see whether or not you have similar interests with other people before you make contact, which could make "breaking the ice" easier. Not everyone on the internet is a creeper. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I'd go out with him, it's just like someone you never met in a class walking up and asking you out. He was probably attracted to your looks, honestly, liked what he saw in your profile, or mutual friends told him good stuff about you. Who knows, they might have even suggested the idea to try and set you up. It's not taht risky, as long as you don't leave the public place. What if he was a good match? You won't know unless you try. Link to comment
Blondiegirl Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thank you for the advice. I will probably go and meet him for the drink but I will not go home with him or leave the public place I met him at. It is weird how someone mentioned things have changed. I am in my mid 20's now and it used to be you would meet at your love a High School or through a friend. Nowadays it is hard meeting anyone at college because you are studying and classes are so big it is pretty impossible and bars aren't really my scene so if you want to meet anyone you have to find them online. Times sure have changed! Link to comment
4answers Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 I see a girl I like, be it club, be it bar, be it photo, be it facebook.... I do nothing, then nothing will ever happen and at least I can rest in the knowledge ... At least I did not try, so thats why I was never with her. Or I can take the chance, risk the rejection and give it a go... It may work out it may not.. but at least I gave it a shot. Just go ! Give it a shot, public place, let someone know where you are, get them to phone you etc... but nothing ventured nothing gained.... Link to comment
TheSpoon2Big Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 Thank you for the advice. I will probably go and meet him for the drink but I will not go home with him or leave the public place I met him at. It is weird how someone mentioned things have changed. I am in my mid 20's now and it used to be you would meet at your love a High School or through a friend. Nowadays it is hard meeting anyone at college because you are studying and classes are so big it is pretty impossible and bars aren't really my scene so if you want to meet anyone you have to find them online. Times sure have changed! Yea, it sucks sometimes. It's easier to reject someone on the other side of a screen than it is to actually deal with confronting people in real life situations anymore. That's how our generation is. Texting, emailing, Facebooking, even this forum. We're super connected, yet disconnected at the same time. I'm 26, and I feel the same as you. I want to meet a respectable girl in a respectable setting, but what are some of my options? Like I said, the bar? Nah. Clubs? Nah. My college classes? Sometimes, but it's rare. So busy with school plus I have yet to be attracted to a single girl in any of my classes in the past 4 years of college (surprisingly). So, there's online dating.... But let us know how your date goes Link to comment
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