GirlGreen Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 When i hang out with a group of my friends, and my boyfriend is there he pays no attention to me until the end of the night when we are all on the couch watching a movie. Then we lay together and he puts his arm around me and we get along great. But the problem is, he pays absolutly no attention to me when we are doing other things-Bonfires, games, or just sitting around playing music. like last night we went to my friends house and he had a bonfire and my friend and i got bored so we tried to get people to come to the park with us. i asked him to come and he was like, no i dont want to come, and then 2 of his best friends ended up coming with us unstead. we spent like, an hour at the park without him and they didnt even call us or walk over....its like if i didnt want to go to the park and he was going, i would probly wanna go just cause he was going. I know that its not cause he doesnt know how to flirt, or pay attention to me cause this just recently started happening, and before we went out we would flirt and be together all the time. I feel like i follow him around sometimes, like when i come in a room within a minute he will leave. I dont know what to do! i dont feel like talking to him about it yet, cause it might just be my imagination or he doesnt relize hes doing it and i dont want him to think i need a lot of attention. But i have talked to 2 of my friends and they both noticed it, and sometimes people comment on how we arent together ALL night. what is he thinking? Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 He may be having second thoughts about the relationship, and if other poeople are noticing, I think it's time you talked to him about it and asked what's wrong. Don't be confronting about it, as it will only put his defenses up, just be nice about it and see where it goes from there. Good Luck Link to comment
GirlGreen Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 Well i would normally think that, but there are so many more things that say he still likes me, and plus he tells me, i mean he doesnt come out and say it...but you know. like when we are together at the end of the night we flirt and kiss a lot and he always tickles me (im very tickelish) and i try and tickel him but it doesnt work....yahhh and like when my friend was driving us home we were in the back seat and he knew i was tired so he put his arm around me and told me to lay in his lap. little things like that make me love him, but little things like paying no attention to me makes me hate him. so at the begginging of the night i get mad and try to show him that it bothers me that he pays no attention to me, but he gets to me once we are laying there and i just cant give him the cold shoulder anymore, haha..... Link to comment
ShroudedSorrow24 Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 idk...maybe he's trying to play hard to get so you'll like him even more? Next time he tries to get all flirty with you, walk away. Make him want you, so you're not the one chasing him all the time Link to comment
Andy Scott Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Actually, I think I might have an idea, because the same thing happened to me a while ago. My girlfriend who I've been dating for about 3 and a half months now was at first very shy, and sometimes didn't know how to act with me around her friends. She tried to pay a lot of attention to them, and hardly was with me at all when we went to parties, or decided to spend time with each other's friends. What I discovered later was that she was uncomfortable and nervous about acting 'lovey dovey' around her friends because she wasn't sure how they would act towards her. In your case, it may just be the fact that he's not sure how to act with you around his friends, and when he's alone with you later or is pretty sure that he can have some privacy with you, he lets his loving side come out. I think that it's more of a comfort issue, rather than a loving issue. It might be hard for you to approach him, but I think you should talk to him about it. If anything, telling him that you're worried he doesn't love you because of this will warm him up to you, and maybe even push him to overcome his nervous feelings. If he really wants to be with you, talking to him about how you're feeling when he's with his friends, etc. will make him realize he needs to pay more attention to you. Which he should. Anyway, if you have any other questions, updates, or details that you're still worrying about, you can always post back here and someone'll answer those things for you. 8) Good Luck! Andy Link to comment
GirlGreen Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 Thank you so much, that kinda makes sense, because sometimes his friends make fun of him for being whipped, even tho he isnt at all.. Link to comment
Andy Scott Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Yeah...its sad how guys are like that in high school. I know plenty of guys who feel too insecure to show their feelings for someone in front of their own friends because they're concerned about their 'PUBLIC IMAGE.' But, I wouldn't worry, I think things between you two will work out juuust fine in the end. 8) Andy Link to comment
GirlGreen Posted September 21, 2004 Author Share Posted September 21, 2004 I talked to him about it. Well he was drunk, haha but i talked to him after that too when he was sober. I started to notice he was only different around one of his friends, and i relized it was because that friend makes fun of him because its how hes dealing with his jealousy of my boyfriend for having a girlfriend. He told me that he was very sorry and if he ever did it again i should hug him, then slap him, then kiss him and tell him hes being a jerk. Thanks for all your help! Link to comment
Andy Scott Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 It's nice how things end in a happy ending like that, don't you agree? Andy Link to comment
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