a breakup for no reason/is it possible to be friends?

[maria219]

This may be a bit long..so just a warning. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago abruptly...for no reason except for the fact that he was leaving to go out of town for a month and couldn't have any contact with me for the most part (we're not really allowed to date..especially since my parents would never allow me to date him due to religious differences)..so he wanted to take a break and maybe get back together after he came back in september (we attend the same college). I, of course, reactly badly to such an idea and he "realized" that he had to end it all together because he was leaving april 2005 for medical school accross the country and he couldn't take having a long distance relationship. He realized he had to end it then since it would just be more difficult later on. I asked him if there were any other reasons because for me it would be easier to move on if there was one, and he told me that I could not have prevented this breakup and he never felt this way about long distance relationships before us (his first real relationship). It was a serious relationship (I had known him for about a year and we had been best friends before dating). Anyways, he left for 5 weeks...almost no contact (only like 1 email). We both gave each other our space and moved on somewhat with our lives. However, this past week we accidently ran into each other (it's more complicated because we live in the same apartment complex at school) and I didn't even recognize him because it was so out of the blue! We actually have 2 courses together since we have similar majors and the first day was horrific. He wouldn't look at me or speak to me...when he did he sounded angry and it was so noticiable to everyone around us. I didn't know what to do or say...he wrote me one email saying he wanted to return everything i let him borrow including pictures, letters, etc. So he came to my apartment ready to drop off the books and run off but i invited him in...we spoke about nothing really but eventually it came out that he still had feelings for me a lot..and that he thought 5 weeks would help but they hadn't. He told me he didn't know what to do and that every second spent with me was going back 10 hours...it was so sad. I knew he wanted to run out of there, but he couldn't make himself. When i asked him if he'd regret all this, he said yes, most likely. I just don't get it. We didn't talk about our past relationship because I know that wouldn't do any good...right now it's about a friendship because he was my best friend before. The bottom line is that he doesn't know what he wants and i don't think he could stand being only my friend (even though he broke up w/ me!). I can understand what he means...but i guess what I wanted to know was...what should I do? Just forget the friendship all together because I can see that he still likes me a lot and being around me is painful..but it goes both ways. I have to still see him 3 days out of 7 so i don't know how to handle this...everytime i see him I just want to break down and cry because we can't speak too much or say much since we can't be friends. It's just something so basic...a friendship...that I can't even have..What should I do? Thanks

[justtwicethen]

You love him....

 

 

He clearly loves you. Make this damn thing work girl. Take the stance...

 

I lost someone so dear to me because we both used silence...as a weapon and a medicine...

 

PLEASE DO NOT MAKE MY MISTAKE...

 

Act now.

[maria219]

He wrote me telling me he wants to try out the whole being friends thing..but I don't know how much this will hurt my heart because I am already in pain...either talking to him or when I am away from him. I don't know how to take a stance on this without seeming pushy which is the last thing I want to do. He said before that he couldn't handle being away from me and that's why he doesn't want that whole long distance thing...but how can you convince someone that this is worth it without feeling that you're trying to force them to see something so clear to you (which is really heartbreaking on my side..)? Also, how do u know what is too far to fight for something like this? Thanks for the comment.