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OH BABY!!! The Real Us


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AHHHH! I can remember it as if it was yesterday. My ex inviting me upstairs and us rolling around his dining room floor kissing, sexing, licking, and well you get the picture.


This was about 2 weeks ago after a 6 week NC period. The purpose of going over there in the beginning was strickly for my friend, who ironically, started dating my ex's best friend a week after our breakup. They, as in my ex's best friend and my best friend, invited me over my ex's house. There, my ex's bf and ex lived together so his house was the "meet up spot."


Besides meeting in a house of memory lane, I played it "cool." He of course, asked questions and hinted me to stay around longer than planned. And since i was already there, I didnt want to play hard to get because that would be pretty contradicting. And i wanted to show him that it really wasnt a big deal. But OH BABY, it was!


Now lets speed up...

Our friends decided to go to my friends apartment and i voulenteered to drive them. It was more of an excuse to leave. However, my ex wanted to come along and i did not want to seem as if he couldnt. So we all left.


As my ex and i was left in the car alone, driving back to his apartment. We departed in a long hug, both not wanting to let go. I drove off and that was that. However, he left his phone in the car and ran back to the car immediately. I parked to give him his phone and he asked if i wanted to come upstairs.


My head screamed NO! But my heart said PLEASE GO!

I obviously followed my heart. He asked if he could hold me, kiss me, and it was like we fell in love all over again. Emotions, emotions, emotions.


The next morning he let me sleep in. The night before, we were holding eachother and gazing in eachothers eyes. (After the sex). Seem like we talked about everything under the stars except our relationship. As the sun woke us both, we had sex two more times and he suggested taking me out for breakfest. We had breakfest and caught up on family, friends, and school. (Were both college students and the stress of the relationship ended the breakup)


After breakfest, i took him back home and he noticed a guy waving at me. I told him i had gave him a ride once and thats how i knew him. I really didnt find a need to explain myself, but than again i did.


He seem to have an attitude about it. But i didnt think it was a big deal, especially since HE broke up with ME. The next day, my best friend told me that he had asked his best friend to ask her if i was talking to someone. She knew it was from my ex, she laughed and told him no.


Eversince than, i havent heard from him. Which i thought was weird. I mean DAMN i just knew we would be back together. But than again just because we had an amazing time doesnt mean it was the right time. However, I am proud to say that in the little 6 weeks we have been apart, I have better grades, a new and GREAT job, and soon enough a new look. Were on Winter Break now for a month so during this time im hitting the gym, working, shopping, and getting a new look for the new year. Besides, ill be 21 in two weeks. (expecting a call from him). Heck, he mentioned my birthday as soon as i seen him the two weeks ago. So i believe he will reach out.


Once we start school again, i want to get together. However, i dont want to initate it. What should i do? I do love him and I know that im a better woman now than before. He was constantly proving his self to me that he changed for the better. Please respond, I never get any responses


Thank you.



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If he wants to get back together will you, he will tell you. Or at the very least he'll start to put out feelers, test the water etc. So yeah, don't initiate anything at all. Let him come to you.

Right now what you have is a hook up situation. Nothing more. It's quite likely that you'll hear from him again when he wants to hook up with you. If you really do love him and want to be his GF again, you need to stop hooking up with him.

Lots of couples find themselves hooking up at least once after a break up. It doesn't mean that one or both wants to get back together.


ETA- I just read some of your other threads to get some history on this relationship. Is this the same guy you first wrote about one year ago? The same guy you were supporting financially? The same guy who has broken up with you four (five?) times in less than a year?

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Emotions are emotions. It's easy to be clouded by those ecstatic feelings of sexual attraction.


All you need to do is answer this: Have the issues which led to the break up been solved?


If your answer is yes, then go for it. If your answer is no, then you really should hold off the urge because 99% of the time, all you'll be doing is setting up for another break up.

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You had a nice post-breakup hookup... breakup sex... but unless he starts calling you and asking you out and wanting to see you again, then all it was was some casual sex that he did on the spur of the moment and didnt' intend to follow up on, obviously. You can't assume a willingness to hook up now and again means he wants to come back. It could just mean he hasn't found anyone new yet to date, so will take the sex if it is offered and you're available to him.


Why did he break up with you? If those reasons haven't really changed, then don't take anything seriously with him unless he starts trying to see you again on a regular basis for more than sex. Honestly, people have sex with all kinds of one night stands and even strippers and hookers and it doesn't mean anything unless the person wants to see you out of bed and expresses a desire to be with you for more than just sex. It may have dredged up lots of emotions for you, but it may have just been a trip down memory lane for him, and a chance for a quick no strings hookup since he'd already broken up with you.


So keep on wiith your healing! He has you number and will call if he wants to see you again.

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