Rey Sanchez Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 i struggle with sending messages on dating sites. What a good first message to send? like i dont want to come off creepy but i want to come off interested that i wanna chat. If she has similar taste in music or movies how do I put that in the message? Also how should I end the message? Hope to hear from ya?? I would be interested in chatting? help me please thanks Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Leave out the normal greetings such as, Hi. I liked your profile. Lets chat. Make your e-mail out to be personalized such as "I read you like METALLICA (cause metallica kick arse!), I've been headbanging to them for years! I have the concussion records to prove it to you!...." that way she/he knows that you bothered to read the profile rather than look at the picture and send a message. Just put at the end of the e-mail that if she's interested to have her e-mail you back. After that it's completely in her court to do so. Just make it witty and fun. The thing about online dating I've noticed (I looked at my friends' e-mails (who's a girl)) and she usually gets between 5 and 10 e-mails EVERY DAY. She said she won't even bother reading them if it looks like a copy/pasted template that the guy probably sent to 50 women all at the same time. Make it personalized and not too long winded. She should be able to get what she needs to know off your profile. Link to comment
rosephase Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 link removed Check out this blog post from Oktrends it won't give you exact words but it will give you a lot of good advice. Link to comment
hers Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Agree with LDR completely. when I did online dating, I ignored people who had generic messages or messGes that stated something Bout my pics but nothing about my profile itself. I also 86d guys completely who didn't seem to have any knowledge of basic grammar skills. That was just my personal pet peeve. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 True that! I once checked out an ex's profile on a general social site, and she got like 10 messages in 5 minutes. This was a general social site... GENERAL. I could only imagine a dating site. This freaked me out... L said sound advice, i do it to women, and end with a question so they have something to reply back with. Girls also do this to me, I get messages like, "hmmmm, you want to take over the world with a fork ,lol, ill join you! When we starting the war?" I notice the messages i get from pretty girls are simple, "hi!", where as the less attractive girls read my whole profile and quote me like a scholar. Its the same with dudes when they send messages to girls. Link to comment
Dubb Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Agree with LDR completely. when I did online dating, I ignored people who had generic messages or messGes that stated something Bout my pics but nothing about my profile itself. I also 86d guys completely who didn't seem to have any knowledge of basic grammar skills. That was just my personal pet peeve. TBH I can never understand this... It's not always easy coming up with a good first message and some guys waste way too much time doing it for the girl to take one look at his photo and delete the message. Let's be honest and say if you're attracted to the guy and his profile is interesting it doesn't matter what he sends as long as it's not creepy.. Link to comment
hers Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I always ignored "hey you look like a nice person and we seem to have a lot in common. Write me back if you're interested". I'd always look at the profile and read it, see if we actually had something in common (usually we didn't) and then I'd respond or not respond. I rarely based anything off of pictures. Link to comment
Liraele Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Try to avoid sending too simple of a message, or too complex of one. Say something like... Hey, I noticed you like x band, they are one of my favorites too. What's your favorite song by them? Interject some humor if you can... we like that. Ask a question to give her something to respond to... nothing too personal, nothing creeperish (ie, don't say "Hey, you're hot, wanna chat?") Don't stress about it too much. If you met someone at a venue where you shared a mutual interest or were trying to learn something new, what would you say to them? Start there and build. Link to comment
Dubb Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I always ignored "hey you look like a nice person and we seem to have a lot in common. Write me back if you're interested". I'd always look at the profile and read it, see if we actually had something in common (usually we didn't) and then I'd respond or not respond. I rarely based anything off of pictures. That might be you but there are a lot of girls who do. Online is pretty particular for a lot of girls...Height, build, finance, education, etc.. I'm just saying I can see why guys get into the copy/paste messages and I would not overly judge them b/c of it. I can totally understand if your profiles didn't match up tho after them sending the message. maybe what you wrote in yours resonated with them even tho they didn't put it in their profile? Link to comment
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