She showed up at my house.

[bullonparade]

I'm obviously misunderstanding things... My apologies.

 

Don't worry about it, I didn't mean for that to sound so harsh.

[aerobfa]

Wow, crazy story, after three years, she comes a-knocking! I would refrain from texting her friends or cousins about this. There's no need to drag them into this drama, so they should be left out as a courtesy on your part. The less people involved in these situations, the better. There's no point in even talking to her anymore. What's the point of reconciliation at this moment in time and she lives five hours away? Three years later, you seem to be pretty headstrong on this matter, I would continue and trek on with NC. Consider that night a drunken moment that she's embarrassed by, hence the reply via email you did not ever receive. Plus you have the "power and sanity" now as she was the one that broke NC and showed up at your doorstep that night. That alone should make you feel better about the whole situation and continue on with NC. I wouldn't do or say anything as you may say something you'll regret and feel worse.

[bullonparade]

Yeah, I won't be texting her family but often times I pictured it in my head. We have been emailing now somewhat daily. Nothing big, just polite small talk.

[toby17]

Bullon, is she the one who keeps leaving?

 

Have you guys ever talked about why she keeps leaving? And why she keeps coming back?

 

It's obvious she misses you, but something makes her leave in the first place. What is it? Because that's what you need to get to the bottom of - like really get to the bottom of - and I don't mean some b.s. reason she gives you but the real reason.

 

Because it sounds like keeps losing interest (or maybe she feels trapped, or maybe you're not "the one") but she comes back because she misses you and you're familiar. But if the thing that keeps her leaving can't be fixed, you're wasting your time constantly getting back together.

[bullonparade]

Honestly the conversations end up being so long that getting to the bottom of one question is difficult. I'm not even sure this re-communication is an attempt to get back together. Like you said, I think she just misses me or us and reaches out. I haven't seen any plan on how to fix anything (or thought of one myself). As of now it's a can of worms to be opened at a later date. I think if these chats end up more serious, that's the #1 question I should attempt to be discuss.

[EgoJoe]

Take your control back.

[bullonparade]

I have EgoJoe, but now it's sort of like a game and that's kind of dangerous if you understand what I'm getting it. It becomes a power play instead of just a relationship. This is why new relationships are sometimes better then going back to something old.