broken1414 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Wow...what a weekend. Long story short: My ex and I together for 5 years, broke up 10 months ago. He struggled with alcoholism our entire relationship, didn't treat me right, cheated on me, lied to me, etc, etc, I didn't want to break up with him, but had to in order to save my own sanity. I met a new guy shortly after the break up and have fallen completely head over heels in love with him. My ex was obviously very bothered by my new relationship, but has since gotten over it, made new friends, and has been involved with multiple girls. When the ex and I were together, we bought a house and his kid brother came to live with us. (For about 4 years, from when he was 14-18 years old) They come from a very troubled family, alcoholic/abusive parents, their older brother also struggled with drug abose problems, etc, and committed suicide 7 years ago. The youngest brother (who came to live with us) was the one who found his oldest brother dead at the time of his suicide. Both their mother and their father (who are now divorced) have attempted suicide multiple times as well. My ex always struggled with alcoholism, but when we were together never was into drugs of any kind. Since we broke up 10 months ago, he has made some friends who are total druggies. To make it worse, his little brother (now 19) still lives with him. The youngest brother is by far the most sensible person inthe entire family. Saturday morning: His little brother texts me out of the blue "Hey, how's it going?", I reply "Good, you?". He tells me that the night before my ex got drunk, took off in his car (after his little brother tried to stop him), and drove over 100km/h into the back of a parked 18-wheeler. He said "I think he did it on purpose". He told me that he had been saying things like, "I don't want to live anymore.", "I should just end it, it's not worth it anymore", etc over the last few days. I KNOW my ex pretty good, and I KNOW he did this on purpose. He told me that the drugs (cocaine and crack) are way worse than I think, and that he just hates living with him and he just wants to get away. But I know he feels like he needs to keep an eye on his older brother, because he's scared that he's going to do something stupid. His little brother said to me on the weekend, "I'm just so sick of baby-sitting all these idiots". The rest of their family lives over 4000 km away on the other side of the country, and there is no one here for them besides the few "friends" my ex has made since our break up. The younger brother does have some good friends that he's made over the last few years, and for that I am very thankful. So, ughhh.....I don't know what to do! I haven't spoken to my ex at all. He was in the hospital over the weekend, but is back home now with a broken sternum, broken and cracked ribs. I have had little to no contact with my ex over thelast few months. He did text me last week, saying that he wanted to go for coffee, told me he was flat broke and hated life. I never really promised to go for coffee or anything, just kinda told him that maybe we could in the upcoming weeks. (I kinda wanted to go have coffee with him anyway. I wanted to tell him gently that my new guy is going to move in with me, and that I didn't want to hold onto anger from the past, and wanted to just tell him that I forgive him for all the horrible crap he put me through. For me, so I can move forward without those hard feelings, and because I don't want him to go through life feeling guilt for hurting me - you know?! Forgiveness for God's sake!) I gave his little brother some cash on Saturday night, because he has no money (has been trying to work, but works with my ex who doesn't get out of bed for work everyday due to his drug habits), and told me there was no food in their house, etc. I just wanted to relieve him of some pressure in a time of need. I KNOW my ex is SO stubborn, and when he gets an idea in his head, he will almost always do whatever he has to in order to follow through. I also called his best friend on Saturday. A great guy, level headed, sensible, not into drugs in any way. (How my ex even has a best friend like him is beyond me!) My ex has been working for his best friend, since he lost his own business (all since we broke up). His best friend told me that he knew something was up and was pretty sure he was into the drugs, but also didn't know it was this serious. He told me that he was going to talk to my ex and lecture him and tell him he's taken it too far. He went to visit him in the hospital over the weekend, but I'm not sure if he talked to him about the "attempted suicide" or not. His brother told me that even while he was waking up from the sedatives in the hospital, he was still saying that he didn't want to live anymore, etc. Then when he was fully awake, he chaged his story to "I blacked out, I didn't mean to do it." But then even said, "Well, subconciously I wanted to die." I told his brother to tell the doctors what he had been saying over the last few days, but not sure if he did or not. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?! I am worried that now that he's back home, he will just get hooked tp pain medication, get messed up on cocaine/crack, drink excessively, etc. Neither brother has a vehicle on the road right now, and he won't be able to work anytime soon. I am scared that he's just going to go ahead and kill himself the next time he has a bad day or whatever. I hate the though of him feeling so helpless/hopeless about life, that he wants to die. I don't want him to hurt like that, it breaks my heart. I am half inclined to give my ex a huge lecture about ow he needs to be a good role model for his brother, and get his crap sorted out, clean himself up. I don't want to cause more drama though, and really don't feel like it's my responsibility to get involved. I do feel a little partial to his brother who is obviously feeling very lost and alone right now, and doesn't have any adults/role models to fall back on. Any advice/suggestions?! This situation is very very confusing for me. I'm not really sure how to feel right now. My heart breaks for the both of them, but I am SO infuritated by my ex's actions at the same time... Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.