Lonelygirl123 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Dilemma....... Just want to know specially from men, that, if you are married, you have a routine married life n one fine day you meet an amazing young woman who is the perfect blend of a professional and a home maker, well educated, an epitome of beauty, all perfectly rolled into one. Will you think about her, curious to know her, or would like to spend time with her? And If you manage to do so considering the girl is very honest, innocent and straight forward, would you really have an affair with her or give her any false hopes and use her love to your advantage? Coz this is what pcisely happened to me, I don't know if I should curse myself for being straightforward. I'm new to the town, had found very few friends and one being this guy. Our professional work demands us to spend a lot of time with each other, travelled to a lot of places together, eventually he got close to me, and I made it clear that I can't think of him beyond a friend. However my turn of events in personal life was so bad that I confided in him and eventually I ended up falling for his words and sorry marriage life....... Didn't know they were a least bit true. I pitied him and gave him everything I would have given my hubby, continued giving him everything he asked for........ Now suddenly he stopped speaking to me, doesn't even pick my calls, says he's busy..... Remorseless, I feel miserable and used. Didn't deserve this for having trusted a friend. having said this, Won't you guys accept the woman with her cons too, all of us have our shortcomings, I accepted him with it, won't u guys accept women completely with all her short comings and work towards improving them ......... N NOW I MISS HIM TERRIBLY, KEEP LOOKING AT MY CELL FOR ONE MESSAGE OR CALL, BUT HE NEVER BOTHERED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME......... I feel cheated...... HELPPPPP MEN! DO YOU EVER MISS SUCH GENUINE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE, WHO'S WILLING TO DO EVERYTHING AT THE DROP OF A HAT........ Link to comment
appdev89 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Why would you do everything at the drop of a hat? I don't understand... You seem to have signed up for this, and he seems to have enjoyed it. No, moral people would not ever do so, but the world has few such men. And by "amazing young woman who is the perfect blend... etc" you mean yourself? Gotta say, you think quite highly of yourself, if so. Link to comment
lanaa Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Most men would do it! he just took what you gave him,kinda blame yourself how often do they leave their wives for the mistress? in 0,1% cases? Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 You talk of his morals but you knew he was married so you are just as guilty as he is. Yes he very likely used you and you will probably hear an apology from him a few weeks down the line, but it will only be to get you back into bed. He has a wife, possibly kids? You were probably never even in competition. Dont mean to be harsh but thats just how I see it. Would most men do it? Yes. Me personally? No, I cant even flirt with another girl without feeling guilty. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I'm sorry Lonelygirl, but you fell for the oldeest trick in the book. Men like these don't care about others feelings. If they did, they wouldn't cheat on their wives. They are liars and do it easily. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Most men who love their wives wouldnt do this. Most men with any morals wouldnt cheat on their wife and also lead you on. Link to comment
sidehop Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I agree with others that you really did cross the boundaries and knew the consequences. It's not the matter of if he/she will cheat whether they are in a serious relationship or married. There will always be someone with something one's partner will be missing. No one's perfect and should one seek out that missing pieces in the relationship. But if you also get involved with another's marriage/relationship you're only digging yourself a grave of regret. It never ends well. Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 You need to think of this --- he is married. He has a wife with which to deal with short comings. You were his diversion from his marriage. You filled a need or a fantasy but needs or fantasies that become needy... well... who needs that? This was only a one sided relationship in which you allowed yourself to believe that there was more. People rarely leave their marriages for their affairs... RARELY. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and consider this a lesson learned. Make yourself available to only those who they themselves are truly available. This isn't the worse thing to have happen though painful I know. Time to move on. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Can't really feel sorry for you, OP, you knew he was married. Find someone who is worth all of you and he can give all of himself to you and not someone who is only going to give your breadcrumbs. Link to comment
TheVP Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I'm not a married guy but would I have an affair with any woman at my workplace? No, absolutely not. When I'm at work, the only thing that matters about the women around me is if they are performing their job or not. If they are making my job more difficult or if they are not doing well, their pretty faces won't do them one iota of good. But then again, I must say that in my entire life I've never met an "innocent, honest, straight forward amazing young woman who is the perfect blend of a professional and a home maker, well educated, an epitome of beauty, all perfectly rolled into one" as you describe yourself. Why even finding the combination of an "innocent amazing woman that sleeps with married men" is about as rare as finding a virgin prostitute. Link to comment
Lonelygirl123 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 Why would you do everything at the drop of a hat? I don't understand... You seem to have signed up for this, and he seems to have enjoyed it. No, moral people would not ever do so, but the world has few such men. And by "amazing young woman who is the perfect blend... etc" you mean yourself? Gotta say, you think quite highly of yourself, if so. Dear appdev, Thanks you are right. Just a little clarification, that statement was made by him though I didn't think so highly of myself. Like I said earlier, relationships are all about working around Each other's shortcomings, I think of myself as a normal girl. Thanks Link to comment
Lonelygirl123 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 Thanks for the advice. Truth always hurt ..... Yes will work towards moving on ."..... Praying to meet someone genuine. ...... Thanks...yes Im on a self guilt trip already. Link to comment
Lonelygirl123 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 The vp, Thank you. Though it was a very rude, would have preferred a word of caution and advice in this forum. Amazing, innocent ..... Blah blah.....This is not how I describe myself, but these were the words used by him for me. At the end of it, I feel like a butt of jokes ...... Thanks for your note. Link to comment
Lonelygirl123 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 Cats meow, Thanks a ton, one encouraging post. I know it was my mistake, n I'm already on a guilt trip, but these words are very comforting. At least I feel someone sympathises with me, yes I'm trying to move on. Finding it very difficult with no support system, but trying....... Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Cats meow, Thanks a ton, one encouraging post. I know it was my mistake, n I'm already on a guilt trip, but these words are very comforting. At least I feel someone sympathises with me, yes I'm trying to move on. Finding it very difficult with no support system, but trying....... Everyone makes mistakes... just one word of caution... right now he is avoiding you but the minute you start to care less about the situation and move on as you should he may come sniffing around again so don't get sucked back in to whatever he says. He has shown you who he is so don't take any excuses and let him worm his way back in. If you are really all that that you described in your first post then embrace it, live by it and know you are worth so much more!!!! This too shall pass. Chin up! Link to comment
TheVP Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 My apologies for the misunderstanding. It seemed those words were your own self-assessment, not the ones he told you. If not innocent, you are at least very naive to fall for this guy. Those words are so classic of a guy trying to seduce a young girl with lower self esteem. What is is you are hoping that happens with this guy? Perhaps you should become FaceBook friends with his wife for a little while to see the woman who's life would be disrupted from the continuation of this. In the very least, I bet he would stop ignoring you as soon as you befriend his wife. I think he needs the good scare. Link to comment
4answers Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 The clue is in Married ! As in already formed an emotional connection.... Any thing else is excitement, risk, fun..... but already committed to another... Married, Married, Married..... are you getting it..... Dont date married men, they will never be yours, because if they were waiting to meet you they would not of married another.... Simple. Sorry to be so blunt... but you have on this occasion set yourself up for this !!! Learn the lesson, say Doh! and find a single guy who will have the time and cash if nothing else to spend on you. Hope this helps and good luck. Link to comment
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