3.5 months of NC -End?

[tholouras]

Well guys i had a relationship for about 14 months. I broke up (i was the dumpee) 3.5 months ago. We spoke only a few times on the phone these months and saw her about 3 times out.

 

I broke NC a few days ago. We talked generally and she asked back something i had in my possesion. And today i learned that she's with someone else (only some days). definitely less good looking than me.

 

Is this the end of my hopes for reconcilation?? A month ago she had told to a good friend of mine that she could live her life with me if i was different. It sounded controversial to me.

 

Anyway i 'm waiting for some opinions. Thanks in advance.

[Sallee05]

I don't change yourself for anyone bro... If somone says if u were diffrent, they arn't worth it. Thats wrong of them to say that about u and give u hope. If they want to change you! excuse my language.. But * * * * them.

[Scuza]

Different how? If she wants you to fundamentally change who you are, then forget it, no one is worth changing yourself for.

But if you became a different person in the relationship (eg. got really clingy, jealous, etc.), then maybe you need to get back to who you are. I lost who I was in the relationship, and it took her breaking up with me to realize and bring my old self back.

If she's with someone else, then your ship is sunk, at least for the moment. Don't sabotage anything, it'll only come back to bite you in the ass.

 

If I were you, I'd return to NC, move on, and improve yourself. You shouldn't rely on someone to make you happy, you need to be happy yourself.

[LaKings55]

That's the type of statement that would have angered me to the point of simply standing up, and walking out of the room, never to be seen or heard from again. Oh sure, I'd have plenty to say, but the second my "girlfriend" says something like that, she is no longer worth my time.

[Ms Darcy]

How was the quality of your relationship?

[tholouras]

Well i would say that the quality of my relationship was quite good. We had no serious arguments and our chemistry was strong enough. I sure have done some mistakes as everyone in a long term relationship but nothing so serious to cause the break up.

 

She was a "kept inside" person and i guess she had a blast after gathering things she didn't like about our relationship. Of course we never discussed these issues. Maybe she got bored.

 

As far as the part that she said about me (if i was different she would stay forever with me) i think she meant that i have some good qualities but the bad ones(according to her bad ones) supersede the good.

 

I can say that i 'm on the latest stage of total healing. I still care about her but life goes on. And if she ever reach out for me it would take a lot of time patience to work things out again.

[mhowe]

What are those bad qualities?

[magnoliatree]

I think 3.5 months is a long time to keep holding on (just my opinion, YMMV). She's with someone else, so that's really all you need to know right now.

[abitbroken]

I think that you should let her go. If she is with someone else, you need to respect that. It sounds like she weighed out the plusses and minuses of staying with you and realized the cons outweighed the pros. She did not try to change you. She left. Be glad that she came to that conclusion and not in year 5. Also, keep in mind that in a relationship with no arguments, etc, sometimes it doesn't mean that the relationship is good, it could mean that the people merely don't state their feelings and keep it inside to avoid arguments.