sheppertonni Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 my problem seems quite trivial compared to some ive read on here but here goes. Basically i met a girl about 6 weeks ago, well she went out of her way to find me, im 35 and she is 22. it was a whirlwind romance and i opened up to her for the first time in years as ive been hurt before so i kind of protected myself by not giving my heart away. with her though it felt right and the physical side of it blew our minds away, and we both agreed we havnt experienced anything like it before, i was really happy for the first time in a long time. anyway after about 4 weeks she decided it all freaked her out and she wasnt ready for a relationship. naturally ive been quite upset, i didnt kick up a fuss and have just played it cool. the problem is we are still in contact mainly down to her, she has rang me and sent me messages saying how amazing she thinks i am and how the sex was amazing and how she finds me attractive. i dont know if to just cut her out and ignore her or what , it seems like she is playing games because of her age. does anyone hav any advice please??? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 she is playing games because of her age --- and because she is just plain immature. Whirlwind romances are mostly fanatasy -- reality sets in and people run. I would ignore her.... Link to comment
sheppertonni Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 what will she do if i ignore her, she wont like it i dont think, and will try and say something. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 so what? You don't owe her anything. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship -- if you just want to have sex, keep in touch. She didn't say she wants to get back together. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 It does sound like it maybe went a little too fast too soon, nobody to blame, it was what it was. Maybe she's playing games, though she might not even realize this herself. People vary A LOT on levels of maturity regardless of their age. If she isn't ready for a relationship and that is what you are after, then politely tell her that you want no further contact and have no desire to be 'just friends' It's for your own sanity in the long run Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I don't think she's playing games with you, I think she's just very young and immature. She's afraid of a relationship with you because frankly it probably scares the living crap out of her and she isn't ready for one. It sucks and I'm sorry but when you're dealing with younger people (usually 25 and under and sometimes older) you have to be prepared for this. She's just starting her adult life and looming in front of her is a very serious and "adult" relationship. I would move on. If you want her as a friend that is a possibility but beyond that a relationship isn't something she's ready for and she's making that very clear to you. Link to comment
sheppertonni Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 thank you all for the input. i do understand that she isnt ready and that is fine i'll cope but why does she keep sending me messages like - im in bed and thought of you, its not helpfull . and when i didnt reply to her she says - your not talking to me, that sucks. i dont know what she's playing at or how she feels the other thing i should mention is i think she has some deep rooted hang up with men, her dad walked out on her when she was young and she says her ex mentally abused her. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 She is immature, and looking for a reaction. She is just playing games. Find someone more intelligent!!! Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I think you should just be straight with her. Tell her you have no interest in game playing and ask her to stop contacting you. Be firm and polite... But only do it the once After that, if she keeps contacting and trying to goad you, you have two choices... Completely ignore and delete any messages from her. Don't even read them. Or block her number so she cannot contact you. She'll get fed up eventually Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 She's only 22... perhaps she realized you wanted a serious relationship and she's just not interested in getting seriously with anyone. She enjoyed the fling and likes the sex but doesn't want to settle down and be committed to anyone. It sounds like she's sending out little feelers about whether you'd like to 'hook up' now and again, but if your heart is getting involved, that's probably not a good idea at all. So you have to think about what your priorities are. At 36, you might want to settle down, in which case dating someone that young probably won't work out for you because you are in different life stages. You probably want to date women who are a bit more mature and are interested in settling into a relationship rather than just hooking up. Link to comment
KYRiverGrl Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I agree w/Lavenderdove ... you need a more mature woman, which usually means someone closer to your age. Not all young people are as emotionally immature as she appears to be, but it takes time for people to be ready for the kind of relationship that you are seeking. Link to comment
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