What is the goal of "dating"? Is sex bad on a first date?

[moonlite]

I met a really nice girl in a train who happen to be in the same university I am studying. We have met at uni for a coffee, we met on a party (common friends) and the last time I saw her, I noticed she was just sticking into the convo for no reason (I guess cause she wants to date), but I was in a hurry so I promised her to call her and we would grab something to eat together. That was 3 months ago!

 

I went to travel, had to work and apart from an occasional text message, I didnt call her at all. Two weeks ago I texted her and asked her if she is available for catching some italian restaurant. She answered saying she was busy etc. So I told her about calling her soon for a new date.

 

I was about to do that today until I asked to myself what I am supposed to do after eating.. I have never had a successful relationship, apart from some one night stands and some quick hookups. In fact, it would be my first real date!

 

I usually try to get alone with her and step by step go from holding hand to kissing to making out.. But I dont want to let her think I am some kind of player. She is intelligent, cute and kind. I believe she likes me alot, but she is just playing hard to get cause of me not calling and invite her.

 

Sooo, any tips on what to do?

[Madara87]

sex isn't bad sex is fun but sex on first date i dont know i think it shows a little bit of insecure

[Ariel85]

I promised her to call her and we would grab something to eat together. That was 3 months ago!

 

I went to travel, had to work and apart from an occasional text message, I didnt call her at all.

 

I have never had a successful relationship, apart from some one night stands and some quick hookups. In fact, it would be my first real date!

 

Um...you do realize the connection here, right?

 

If you promise to call a woman, then don't for three months, you cannot expect to set the groundwork for any kind of relationship.

 

Why didn't you call her when you said you would? And then why did you bother months later?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Some people date in order to find sex, while others date to find a relationship. Presumably when you had the one night stands and hookups there was date-like behaviour going on so you were dating..but your dating was for the express purpose of finding sex. So although you don't want to give the impression that you are a player..your past actions have indeed shown that you are (or at least, were) a player. The promising to call and not following through is also classic player behaviour. So if you are looking for a relationship and you are looking to be respected by a woman rather than simply lusted after, then you need to follow through on phone calls and not lay on the charm and do the classic make out to get laid moves so quickly.

[Julia Durst]

Sex isn't bad, unless you think it is.

Sex on the first date is ok if you are sure that he is the one.

[moonlite]

sex isn't bad sex is fun but sex on first date i dont know i think it shows a little bit of insecure

 

That's a very interesting thought.. Can you please explain why? (If you are female..)

 

I didn't call her because I was extremely busy for some part, and I never try to hook up with someone in the same network, just in case things don't go well.. I am going to call her tomorrow, big chance I will never see her in college, we both graduated..

 

Will keep you posted guys! Thanks for the idea's, more is always welcome..