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Wife and i still hanging out togheter after 5 months breakup

NICEMAN99

By NICEMAN99
in Getting Back Together

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NICEMAN99 Apprentice

NICEMAN99

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i have posted here before long story short:

wife of 14 years cheated on me with a coworker of hers we split up,they get together,i was a mess,7 weeks later he (wifes coworker) call it off.

2 weeks later wife calls me for sex ONLY. we had and it was akward we been having sex ever since but everytime is better and better.

i lost over 60 pounds ,dress way better hit the gym so i look better!! THATS WHAT SHE SAYS!!!

she doesnt want to get back together even though she asks me to sleep at the house almost everyday.

they (wife and coworker) still speak to each other ,they work together !! but i know for a fact he doesnt want anything but friendship from her!!

but still kills me to know they talk.

 

NOW THIS IS THE PURPOSE OF MY POST.

we been having sex on a regular basics for the past 3 months and many times she asked me to move in,and i said no is to early,and thanks god i did not cause she changes her mind almost everyday.

but oct 17 she called me saying i was her everything and i was the only one who has loved her no matter what!!

on oct 18 she called off again and proposed me to remain lovers (no string attached) accepted but bought a ticket to italy (leaving oct 20)so i can move on.

on oct 19 she started again sweet and stuff and wanted to get back together ,i felt like * * * * cause i had a plane ticket and i had to tell her.

when i did tell her she got angry!!! and again tells me taht she doesnt want to be with me and many painfull things.

while in italy i received a bunch of messages saying how she misses me and why did i leave? we had fun together etc.

but i found out she was talking and trying to have sex with her coworker ,which he turn her down!!

when i got back it took a week before she contacted me for coffee (it was nov 9 and i got back nov 1) i accepted,,but the minute i walk in to the house she started kissing me and telling me how good i look i tryed to turn her down but couldnt!

and we been having sex eversince everyday.

she asked me to have sex together and to be exclusive to each other at least until january... which i find stupid.

she talks about the future and then she talks how we are going to be meeting up new people on jnuary.

and when i try to stop things she calls me back saying we could start over like this you in your house me with my liberty and who knows we could get back!!!

 

there is a girls that calls me and texts me from time to time!! she gets mad and jealous when she calls me,,,even though i dont answer when im with her!!

yesterday we went to a restaurant and was saying stuff like: we been having sex way more often now that we split up then before ,sex is better now then before. we spend more time together then before!!

we are more together then before why get back if its great as it its? she said.

and when i said :

but in january you want to start dating new people why wait,, go ahead now!!! she replyed : i said i wont look for someone before january.

maybe we still be together like this on june or even next year. or maybe we can get back together like this.

 

i love my wife and i love my kids!!!! i dont mind this situation as long as its heading somewhere ... which it looks like sometimes but some other times is heading to ,,,im just filling an empty space right now.

has anybody been in this situation?

should i continue waiting for things to get better(which they have been getting better and better)she wants to see each other and remain free!! i dont have a problem with that as long as she doesnt sleep with other guys.

or should i just end this and swallow the pain

i know the 2 times i told her is over she contacted me the next day asking me if i was still mad!! and to come and see her.

COULD THIS WORK OR AM I JUST WAISTING MY TIME? AND MONEY

I HAVE BEEN TAKING HER TO NICE RESTAURANTS.

OR SHOULD I LOOK MORE BUSSY AND LESS AT HER NEEDS?

any woman advice would be apreciated

 

I KNOW IS HARD TO FOLLOW BUT THERE IS SO MUCH INFORMATION THAT IF I PUT THE WHOLE THING IT WOULD BE 4 PAGES SO ILL GIVE INFO IF ASKED.

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NICEMAN99 Apprentice

NICEMAN99

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she contacted me (after my trip) when she found out i was talking to another girl. she called the same day telling she was feeling bad.

i asked about her health and she said..she was feeling bad about us,,that it was a hard day.

thats how we end up having coffe that same night.

the next day after our first night together..she called me to tell me that she wanted to look for someone and i could do the same,,but to protect each other with rubers.

the next day she told me that i could go to bed with anybody i wanted but not with this girl who calls me cause she knows i like her and she doesnt want to loose me.

the next day she tells me she doesnt want us to sleep with anybody but us extrictly exclusive at each other. and maybe later she could have the need to meet other people she would tell me !!! she said maybe in january start a new year with somebody else.

i find that so stupid but didnt say anything.

should i take a hint ?/

she took a new job a year ago she is head nurse at a big hospital and she controld over 100 employees. ever since she started that new job her tastes when higher and she is another person her new friends are all big headed as well and she is just pretending to be as them

she told me that yesterday.

she said im trying to be different but im still the same person....im still here with you ,we sleep on the same bed ,,we have sex ,,we go out ,,

AAHH I FORGOT TO SAY...SHE DOESNT WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW WE SEE EACH OTHER...NEITHER HER FRIENDS NEITHER HER FAMILY.

she tells me why would they know? we are ok like this!!! they dont want me to be with you and yet im here with you!!

ITS VERY COMPLICATED

AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO FIX THINGS UP....I THINK I JUST SHOULD LEAVE HER...WITH HER MESSED UP HEAD.

WHAT YOU GUYS THINK???

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chitown9 Experienced

chitown9

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Niceman, my quick assessment of your situation is that yes, you should leave her. She seems to be one very confused woman. I think it would help you immensely to secure the services of a therapist who will assist you in sorting out this situation and assist you in coming to terms with it. You don't need all this drama in your life, I am sure....

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  • 2 years later...
NICEMAN99 Apprentice

NICEMAN99

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Just before divorce was pronounced we got back Quick follow up on this thread ... We got back had another son now 2 years old .... We went out , vacations dining etc fall in love with another guy once again ... And the story started all over again ...... Exactly the same just the name of the guy is different she is treating me like crap once again .... Changed many things and we ( i think and she says it ) were happy until 2 months ago ....when this guy showed up

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lavenderdove Enthusiast

lavenderdove

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I'm really sorry.

 

There's an expression that goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

 

So now she has done it twice. Your wife is a repeat cheater who is constantly on the look out for someone she considers 'better' or maybe just 'different' than you when she gets bored.

 

I wouldn't fall for this a second time. You need to do one of two things: either contact a marriage counselor and insist she go with you and give up the other man, or if she won't do that, contact a divorce attorney and get on with the divorce. She's a repeat cheater and don't let her keep using you and popping out kids for which you will have to pay her child support. Time to move on and find a women who is faithful and doesn't do this to you.

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