Is this guilt?

[fiishh]

I'm going to try to not sound like too much of a jerk but this is what happened:

 

I had been talking to a girl online for around 3 months, I liked talking to her but I wasn't attracted to her physically. We met today, and both of us wanted to have sex, so eventually, a few hours after meeting, we slept together.

 

It wasn't great, I wasn't comfortable, but straight afterwards I got up and got dressed, and told her I was going home. She wasn't happy, which is totally understandable as I didn't exactly wait long until I left (she knew I had to go home tonight).

 

My question is, I am currently feeling a really horrible emotion, I think it must be guilt, and I've never felt this before, I feel like scum and like I done a really bad thing (which I did).

 

I suppose I just need to someone to confirm this is what I am feeling! I feel really sad, I have no feelings for her but she is a properly nice person, I like her a lot as a friend.

 

Please don't be too harsh, I've never had a one night stand before, I assumed this was the normal way to behave, but she informed me that it is not!

 

By the way, just in case it matters, I'm a woman and we're both gay... which probably just makes it worse, if anything.

[Furbys]

You have never had a one night stand before so that may be your answer. It may be something you have experienced and you have now realised you are not comfortable with doing it again.

 

Does the other person want more or were they in it just for the sex?

[fiishh]

I'm not sure if she wanted more, I think she just wanted the sex but even so, I did leave quite quickly after we were finished, I could have stayed a bit longer, hence why she wasn't happy about it!

[Furbys]

Yes she probably felt like you only wanted one thing. But there also may be a problem here if she wants more, like she may want to be with you. Have you apologised for just 'bailing' on her, she may feel like this is what you did?

[fiishh]

I'm sure she doesn't want to be with me but yes, I did apologise. I make a very bad excuse for needing to go home early (which was true nonetheless!) and I think that just made things worse. I think perhaps I should just leave it but I feel bad because she's probably insulted.

[laura40]

It's understandable that she feels bad because you upped and left straight after the sex.

 

I think you should text or email her apologising once more and that you'd like to stay in contact as friends (that's if you want just a friendship). She may or may not reply however at least you've apologised and tried to make amends.