Juan Don Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 it has been 29 days for me. i still feel it. no matter how much i go to the gym and stay busy and talk with other women go out with friends. i wear a smile on my face and have good times. but, she’s still on my mind. i think of all the things we done together and wonder if she’s with someone else doing the same things we did. i do have feelings of wanting her back we’ve been together for 2 years and what we had was quality. we both never felt love like we did. it was my idea to postpone sex for several months because i told her at the beginning i wanted a relationship with her. i told her if we can abstain from sex, then we know it's greater than on a physical level. she was amazed and happy of course. i told her i respected her and i wanted us to get to know each other. fast forward after about a year and some months she said her feelings have changed for me because we would get into arguments that led to breaking up and getting back together a few times including the last time. how do you think she is taking it? i mean days and weeks before the last time we talked she was telling me how much she loved me and all the sudden it ended like that? it sucks the last time i tried contacting her(29 days ago) after the breakup she seemed mad at me and treating me like a stranger or her enemy. i kept my distance since because i already told her how i felt and i wanted us to be together. what should i do? holidays are coming up and i am not even sure i should contact her. anyone else experience this and ended up with their ex returning and the spark and love came back? Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 You have to treat this like this is the end. Forget holidays, forget getting back together, forget contacting her. Only time is going to make you truly feel better. Hang in there. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 ▲agreed, forget her dude, she's gone. It's hard, it's painful, but it's the only way. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Whatever the reason of the break up (normal ones, of course) there is no reason to talk back mad or like the other person is the enemy so this is not a good sign at all. But it is her prerogative. Now, focus on what you said : " we both never felt love like we did" obviously one of you felt more and the other one less at some degree...getting my point here ? We tend to have this strange picture in our heads which got nothing to do with reality and then we get stumbled with the truth. Nonetheless, the other person is gone for whatever reason. Fine! Your best move ? Start realizing that was the end and see how you can improve your life by taking her out of your life gradually, take your time and dont force it. Holidays ? I am in!!! Go ahead and have some chillio time with friends and family. Plenty of women during this vacational seasons. You dont feel like it ? At least try!!! You will get used to the idea you two are done...sooner or later... Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 The break up/make up merry-go-round only last for a few cycles. Then it becomes permanent --- without a warning sign. She is done. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 The break up/make up merry-go-round only last for a few cycles. Then it becomes permanent --- without a warning sign. She is done. Not necessarily. I've seen a relationship like that last for 14 years before it finally flamed out. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 MHowe meant in general terms and he is right, i totally agree to it...one of the biggest reasons (among others) you just get tired of trying...i do... Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 MHowe meant in general terms and he is right, i totally agree to it...one of the biggest reasons (among others) you just get tired of trying...i do... You're speaking for MHowe now? Plus I wouldn't call her a he. She might get upset. Every relationship is different and has it's own dynamic. Some people thrive in the breakup and chase scenario. One size does not fit all. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 He/she is right...and wont get into a dispute with you but you gotta admit that on/off for 14 years is odd...thats all... keep smiling Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 He/she is right...and wont get into a dispute with you but you gotta admit that on/off for 14 years is odd...thats all... keep smiling Not as unusual as you might think. And I never smile. I'm a curmudgeon. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 then a BIG HUGH to you Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 then a BIG HUGH to you Would that be a Hugh Heffner or a Hugh Grant. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Whatever you need If you can send me Heffner I'd appreciate it. He might be fun to party with. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Hahahahahahahaha...you all coolio,bro!!!! Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 mhowe doesn't care one way or the other. Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 it has been 29 days for me. i still feel it. no matter how much i go to the gym and stay busy and talk with other women go out with friends. i wear a smile on my face and have good times. but, she’s still on my mind. i think of all the things we done together and wonder if she’s with someone else doing the same things we did. Keep doing those busy things but be careful about falling for someone else too soon. Try not to wonder about what she's doing now. Much easier said than done, I know. i do have feelings of wanting her back we’ve been together for 2 years and what we had was quality. we both never felt love like we did. it was my idea to postpone sex for several months because i told her at the beginning i wanted a relationship with her. i told her if we can abstain from sex, then we know it's greater than on a physical level. she was amazed and happy of course. i told her i respected her and i wanted us to get to know each other. None of that matters right now. You treated her respectfully, that was good, and maybe that counts for something in the future. But what's important now is that your feelings for each other are out of sync, so you have to behave in the best way possible to make things better, not worse. That means look after yourself, and leave her alone. fast forward after about a year and some months she said her feelings have changed for me because we would get into arguments that led to breaking up and getting back together a few times including the last time. So if you get back together again, what will have changed on your side so you don't break up again? Until you can answer that, you should leave her alone, and even if you have an answer, it might still be a good idea to leave her alone for a while. Because ... the last time i tried contacting her(29 days ago) after the breakup she seemed mad at me and treating me like a stranger or her enemy. i kept my distance since because i already told her how i felt and i wanted us to be together. Probably the only thing you can do right now for her to not be mad (or less mad) is to leave her alone. If you know the reason why she is mad, and you can do something to make it better, then maybe ... maybe ... there is a possible justification for communicating with her. But maybe she's mad because you contacted her, maybe because you're broken up, maybe her dog got run over, maybe maybe maybe ... how do you think she is taking it? i mean days and weeks before the last time we talked she was telling me how much she loved me and all the sudden it ended like that? it sucks I don't know how she's taking it. Usually people hurt after a breakup, but what they do about it varies. You know her better than anyone posting here. When people say they love someone, it's usually an expression of how they feel ... at that time. She did, you had arguments, so maybe she doesn't feel like she loves you now. It's not clear to me how you broke up. Did she leave you? Then leave her alone. Did you leave her? Then the ball is in your court. Why did you leave her, and what has changed since you left her? what should i do? holidays are coming up and i am not even sure i should contact her. I'm not sure you should either. Why would you? If you're broken up then what she does with her holidays is not relevant to you, and what you do with yours is not relevant to her. anyone else experience this and ended up with their ex returning and the spark and love came back? Yes, several times with one ex ... until we broke up for good. I want her back Why? Do you enjoy the cycle of arguments, breaking up, getting back together? I would be surprised if you do. So figure out why that is happening before you do anything else. Link to comment
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