Anyone Have an Eating Disorder?

[ridingthewaves]

Anyone been in outpatient treatment for andED? If so, what should I expect? I will begin mine next week and am really scared. I am afraid I will be forced to eat when I don't want to. Any tips will be appreciated.

[lavenderdove]

You will explore why you don't want to eat, why you'd do something so harmful to your own body... They can and do force you to eat in inpatient therapy if you are on the verge of seriously jeopardizing your health or dying, but in outpatient therapy they will explore with you and try to remove the roadblocks that are keeping you from being healthy, and help address in any negative body images you have to help you be kind to yourself and take care of yourself rather than doing something dangerous for yourself.

 

Short of strapping you to a bed with a court order, they can't force food in you, but honestly, you do need to examine why you won't eat and get help to encourage you to do so.

[ridingthewaves]

Thanks so much. This helps a lot. Can a therapist conducting outpatient therapy force a patient into inpatient? I really need to know what I'm getting into.

 

I have two voices in my head constantly arguing - the smaller to cherish this opportunity to get better, that I am out of control - the larger saying to cancel, everything is fine, I can handle it and if I go, the end goal is to put on weight - which terrifies me. This battle drives me crazy. I am so afraid I will show up to therapy and the larger voice will road block the therpists attempts and I get no where.

[smegs]

Hi there. I have been exactly where u are with the same thought patterns and fears and everything. No, they won't force feed you. If you get any worse than you are now, they can put you into hospital, but fact that you are an outpatient is actually a good thing, especially if you have that side in your head saying to at least TRY and get better.

 

Basically, I went to sessions with no expectations. No, I didn't want to eat. I was moody, anxious, grumpy and defiant. I look back and laugh a little, I sat there, arms crossed, looking at the table and wouldn't even look at the therapist in the eye. As the sessions went on, little by little, I opened up. I didn't expect that. They often use approaches that are gentle and encourage that side of you that does want to beat this. Fear tactics to an anorexic don't work (i.e dumping a bowl of pasta in front of you and demanding that you eat it) and will only make it worse, and they know that, so don't worry too much bout that!

 

All I can offer is my experience, but know that recovery is possible. It's now been 6 years since the danger zone years, and guess what? I'm not fat, and like alot of us out there, sometimes unhappy bout my appearance, but on a whole, comfortable.

 

It takes time, so don't rush the process. And I must say, well done and be proud of yourself! You're admitting you need to get better and at least giving it a go. (well, i know family probably pushed for this, but go with it, it's worth it!)

 

Best wishes T (aka smegs)

[Mesemene]

I have two voices in my head constantly arguing - the smaller to cherish this opportunity to get better, that I am out of control - the larger saying to cancel, everything is fine, I can handle it and if I go, the end goal is to put on weight - which terrifies me. This battle drives me crazy. I am so afraid I will show up to therapy and the larger voice will road block the therpists attempts and I get no where.

 

A really good ED therapist will make it about you, and the underlying issues that made you feel this drive and need for this control - and not about "eating" per se. It will still be your choice - it'll just be making you see it as a choice, and that you still do have control without keeping a deathgrip on yourself. As others have said, that you're reaching out and have the conflict within you is wonderful - you HAVE part of you that recognizes there's a line that's been crossed and honestly wants what's best for you - it's just getting the other part to acknowledge that control comes in different degrees - and you are worth taking care of and loving just the way you are.

[ridingthewaves]

Thanks so much for all your insight. I am a very private person - only 2 people know of my ED, my husband and best friend. I am terrified my control will be taken from me and I will be forced into the hospital or inpatient. I will then have to take leave from work, all my co-workers and over 100 students will know and my family too - which is horrible as my mother is the root of the ED monster waking in me. I feel this is too big, but am hopeful after hearing posting results from posts above.

[Phebe Halliwel]

I used to have an eating disorder when I was a teen, you can't blame me coz I crack easily. But when my mom found out she got me into therapy but it didn't work so she got me into this that will help teens deal with personal issue. At first I really didn't like the idea but as the days passed I learned and realize that what my mom did was for my own good. And looking back at it now really makes me glad and happy because it turned out to be great.

[MsAnonymous]

I have had an ED for many years now, so I know how it can be, I sincerely hope you begin the process of recovering and cling onto hope that you will one day be free from all of this.

 

Keep fighting.