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Is my boyfriend gay or just not attracted to me?

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I've been dating a guy for about a year now and we now live together. One day I was going to long on to check my e-mails when I went to sign off there was still an e-mail account still logged on. When I started reading there was a bunch of e-mail from different men and women about sex. I asked my bf about it and he said he had lent the laptop to his friend (whom I have never heard of) and that it must of been his friends account. Usually when it comes to making love he expects me to take charge 100% of the time and he believes his job is to just lie there because he works all day to provide for me and my son while I stay home. Today I put my son to bed early so by the time my bf got home I had dinner ready and had on a very sexy lingerie. He told me I looked "very hot" and we ate dinner. No hugs or kisses NOTHING! Then he offers to help with the dishes but I insist on me doing them and him taking a shower to relax. When I come to the bedroom he called his daughter (previous marriage) and when he is done he still doesn't touch me and says hes gonna shower. At this point I felt rejected so I changed to a t-shirt when he gets out I tell him of my concerns and he says "that's your problem." He genuinely is a sweet guy but I beginning to wonder if he's A) Just to tired B) Not attracted to me C) Gay. I love him and want our relationship to work but I don't want to be with him if he is interested. Although when I ask him he tells me he thinks I am beautiful etc... and any guy would be lucky to have me. I don't know what to make of it all. HELP!

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What kind of emails did you see, exactly? You said they were emails from "men and women". Were they specifically directed at him or just general porn/sex email spam?


It's hard to say with so little information, but I suspect you guys just aren't sexually compatible. Whether or not that's due to him being gay that's almost impossible to say, but it's not uncommon for guys to have low sex drives. Lots of things can cause it. Depression, age, testosterone deficiency, etc. Either way, you need to have a serious talk with him. He needs to understand that "that's your problem" is not an answer. It's a relationship and you should be able to express concerns without getting shut down in such a manner. He should be taking your comments seriously and working with you to find possible solutions. Of course, if he's just not interested in doing that the ball will be in your court if you want to regard it as a deal-breaker.

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HEy very interesting you should read all of my posts...Just left an abusive husband and got divorced very heart broken

Constantly rejected sexually by him and I think he's a sociopath but what you're saying sounds like my guy too...

I believed the lies too...

When I first started dating him two things I bought into...I was on his computer and there was a transexual escort myspace page he had looked at I was like * * * and he's like "oh my friend sent me that and we laughed" so I was like Oh ok...never brought it up again

Second thing.........after we were already MARRIED last year he gets a notice saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY from such and such gay website

So I log into it using some of the basic passwords he's used tht I know of, SURE ENOUGH he had joined it but never talked to anyone it didn't look like..but way back when he was with his other wife. In it he wrote "I am a gay male" that's what he said on his profile

Now when confronted he told me that he was "going through a hard time"when his ex had cheated


now here's the kicker I still don't believe (maybe im an idiot) that's hes GAY..maybe bi curious

He checks out women NON STOP

If he looks at Alba or Portman he gets a hard on

He jacks off to porn ALL GIRLS, mainly just pictures of teen girls no guys even in them

But with me he ignored me all the time rejected me all the time no sex all the time

and I had found out he was involved in other online dating sites prior to me meeting him but they were all with females. talk about confusing!!!!!!!!

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Also much like you, I had to initiate everything sexually for the most part

Sometimes he'd want a blow job but other than that I had to initiate sex most of the time.

He never would do normal stuff a guy might do like get on top of the girl and pin her arms back or kiss her body..he would NEVER do that

he was very simple if we did have sex we'd do doggy or sideways but he'd never want to change up, adn this year he pretty much stopped having sex with me altogether for some reason

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His response to your concern is unacceptable for a relationship. Sure, it isn't his problem alone, but if something is on your mind I think you deserve to be heard and listened to by your significant other.


Id try to be firm with him while minimizing the emotions in the conversation. If he isn't willing to discuss your feelings I'd be questioning the relationship.

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