Naomi99 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I agree with you. My gut says to remain NC still. BTW I wanted to let him know about the dog out of courtesey that the dog would be staying for a week at his mom's house. She lives 3 blocks from me and has a similar small dog. They are best of friends. (she has made it clear that we are to be friends despite what happened with her son.) He offered the day we broke up that leaving the dog at his parents was cool...we both feel he's safe there. So out of courtesy, I txted him to let him know I took him know. That's all. It was like 2 sentences. I thought it would be f-ed up not to say anything, esp. with everything working to my benefit. Not my style to leave him out of the loop, esp. since he was nice enough to offer his parents. Link to comment
lanaa Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 What did he reply? any other questions ?` Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 ME: "Hi XX. I wanted to let you know the dog will be at your mom and dad's for a week. Thank you for the offer." (When we split up, he said if I had to leave town, it was fine by him to leave the dog with his parents.) HIM: "Hey, Naomi, I actually just happened to call them today and they told me. So I was planning on going over tonight to see him. Have fun on your trip." ME: "I'm sure he will be happy to see you. He has Advantage on his neck and booty so be careful." (in the past, he would always accidentally get advantage in his mouth or on his face bc he is always kissing the dog.) HIM: "Okay. Will do. I'm really looking forward to seeing him. You have no idea." And then I just never responded. I was sitting there, stunned. This whole time I thought he stopped caring about the dog, and the whole time he was missing him. Ten-year relationship after 3.5 months of no contact. What does the "you have no idea" mean? What do I do now? Nothing? Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 There's nothing to do...you didn't talk about anything. As I said you cannot judge what someone wants in terms of your relationship based off random comments. You're looking for a hint mixed in a sea of randomness.. When you're ready be DIRECT and you will get a DIRECT answer. Anything else and you're just going to drive yourself nuts. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 OH yeah, this very same day before I sent the txt, I found out that he was no longer with whoever he was seeing at the time. He is def. single, so it kind of prompted me to send the txt too. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I would think the parents would let him know the dog was there? Link to comment
lanaa Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 He did not ask you anything or so...it seems like with the "you have no idea" he left the door open for an answer from you,but yet didn't ask anything.. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Where did you see he wanted a reconciliation out of this convo? He missed the dog. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 He did not ask you anything or so...it seems like with the "you have no idea" he left the door open for an answer from you,but yet didn't ask anything.. I think he was waiting for a response from me but I never gave one. I guess I should have followed up? I think I am hoping "you have no idea" means that maybe he might miss me as well too. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I think he was waiting for a response from me but I never gave one. I guess I should have followed up? I think I am hoping "you have no idea" means that maybe he might miss me as well too. You realize this is why people go NC until they want to talk about a relationship? You're going to drive yourself mad with this if you keep it up. Just be direct with him. Don't do it until you're ready to hear something you do NOT want to hear. Trying to beat around the bush is just going to keep leaving you disgruntled and anxious. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Well, that whole txting thing was two weeks ago, and NC since then. So I'm just going to move on and try to stop wondering what it all means before I go batty. Link to comment
lanaa Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Actually It is a BAD idea to start with the relationship talk right away,,,according to most stuff i read on the net about reconciliations Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Well, that whole txting thing was two weeks ago, and NC since then. So I'm just going to move on and try to stop wondering what it all means before I go batty. That would be the best thing for you. Either let him contact you or contact him when you're ready to talk about what is really on your mind. Your relationship. Don't settle for breadcrumbs and don't send any. Good luck! PS - Massive thread derail...sorry about that OP. Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Why are you apologizing to me? You have done nothing wrong. I don't care if the thread is "derailed" we could call it a tangent. This thread is to be helpful and to remind myself of the facts. I get alot of guidance myself because when situations arise where I'm attached I can come up with possibilities and my gut typically leans in the right direction and yet I am always inundated by doubt due to the attachment. I'm working past this and want to help others get into a similar mindset. You're going through a rough patch. Don't be sorry to me or for the way you feel. Also, read this article it's long but it will shed light about quite a few things: The Power of Passivity (Al Turtle): link removed Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Wouldn't it be funny if I got some Wonder Bread, crumpled it up, put it in an envelope, and mailed it to him? Link to comment
fortune Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Good thread, thank you. I am NC for 3/2 months. He wrote me an email 2 weeks ago (nothing substantial he was just wishing me well). It's sunday night and I am struggling. Not because I want to contact him. I am just sad. So thank you again for this encouraging and gentle thread. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Wouldn't it be funny if I got some Wonder Bread, crumpled it up, put it in an envelope, and mailed it to him? That would be taking it to a whole new level!! hilarious Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Good thread, thank you. I am NC for 3/2 months. He wrote me an email 2 weeks ago (nothing substantial he was just wishing me well). It's sunday night and I am struggling. Not because I want to contact him. I am just sad. So thank you again for this encouraging and gentle thread. You're welcome. It's very therapeutic for me to reiterate or "parrot" the good advice I've been given as it's now a part of my own perspective. It helps to drive the point home for myself and I feel obligated to pass on hard wrought information. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 You're going through a rough patch. Don't be sorry to me or for the way you feel. Also, read this article it's long but it will shed light about quite a few things: The Power of Passivity (Al Turtle): link removed WOW. Big eye opener. I read that article the other night and can def. see where we fit into that chart. I believe everything he wrote. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment
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