My hopes are up and down at the same time

[dabears23]

Gf ended a 3 year relationship with me about a month ago. I tried doing everything to convince her to stay the first week. She got annoyed with it and I understood so we went NC for only about a week. It was my birthday 2 weeks after she dumped me so that's when she broke the NC by just telling me happy bday and how my weekend was and all of that.

 

I was happy she texted me because it made me feel like I wasn't forgotten. It made me sane a little bit I guess you could say. Anyways I let that get the best of me and I was texting her the next day asking her a bunch of questions on what exactly happened. Not a good idea. She recommended that I quit texting her all together and that I needed to do it for myself in order to move on.

 

After another week she again just asked how my weekend was and how I was doing. I told her I was doing pretty good but on the inside I'm still pretty hurt, not as bad as it was that first week, but still hurt. I didn't want to say I was doing bad because I figured she would not want to talk to me again. I think me telling myself there will always be hope to get back together with her makes me feel a little bit happier throughout my day. I tell myself to be happy around her (she works at a bar that I always go to with my friends) to make her feel like she made a big mistake by letting me go. It's almost like I'm acting like I'm better off without her but I'm really not. For the past week or so we've kind of been texting regularly. She asks what my plans for the weekend are, tells me stories of things she did the night before, things like that. This is what gives me hope. It makes me think that she does still care if she continues to talk to me.

 

I think I've convinced her that I am doing pretty good but I don't know if she looks at that as "he's better off now, that's great so we can be friends" or "wow he's changed maybe he is everything I need." Now a little curveball; after she dumped me she started talking to this other guy that she works with. She is still talking to him as of now but I'm not really sure how it's going. This is why my hopes get down because I think to myself why would she still be wondering what I am doing and asking how everything is going all while she is kind of talking to this other guy? What's the best way to handle a situation like this? I could either be really upset again and not contact her or tell her not to contact me or I can continue to have little conversations with her, kind of make her see that I can be everything she needs and maybe one day get back together with her. I'm in limbo. What do you guys think?

[AvonRepus]

I think you need to move on but for real. My opinion-she's reeling you out and then cuts the string. Why? Many reasons-your history together,guilt,sudden low feelings...etc.

 

Don't tell her anything,don't call to tell her you don't want to hear from her-that's just sad by the way and a lot of people on here do that . Just don't pick up the phone,ignore,block if needed and follow your path.

 

That's the worst part-to step back and see the real picture. Until then you will get your hopes up everytime she answers the phone or says hi.

[raton44]

look up the rebound reverse psychology thread...you will likely find it helpful...just type it into the search

[David Mac]

I think you need to move on but for real. My opinion-she's reeling you out and then cuts the string. Why? Many reasons-your history together,guilt,sudden low feelings...etc.

 

Don't tell her anything,don't call to tell her you don't want to hear from her-that's just sad by the way and a lot of people on here do that . Just don't pick up the phone,ignore,block if needed and follow your path.

 

That's the worst part-to step back and see the real picture. Until then you will get your hopes up everytime she answers the phone or says hi.

 

remember to listen to this this superb advice.

[No1]

I think there is a lot more to this story because it was a 3yr relationship. But begging for her to take you back was probably the worst move you could ever do. It makes a guy look not like a guy and girls dont want someone who begs.

My suggestion is to just give it a rest for now. Let it go. If she texts, keep things light. I know its hard, most people will say NC.. and thats probably good advice too, but I dont think you can do NC, so if you do decide to contact you, keep things simple, dont mention "us" "we" "together" And if she does, dont add to it. She still thinks of you, she still wants you in her life from what you said, but its up to her to decide if she wants to be with you, you have made it known that you still want her back.

Dont play games, dont 'act' dont do anything thinking you are going to fool her. Youre not. Dont go to where she works, dont initiate any text chats, dont email her, dont call her and let her reach out. Once she does, keep things simple, "Im doing good thank you" dont ask her anything in return. The more you talk, the more it will hurt you.

Let her go live life for now, if things were ment to be, then they will be, but you cannot change rivers. Things have to take their course.