Very close friends, but i would like more........

[Axl]

Hi all,

 

I have a very close female friend who I have known for about 4 years. She moved away a couple of years ago but she came back about a month ago and ever since she has been round mine constantly, every night apart from 2. Now i have always had a bit of a thing for her but i have recently realised that my feelings for her are getting alot stronger. We tell eachother absolutely everything and send each other text messages all the time, some even suggestive ones......however a few months ago she split up with a bloke who she used to live with but she is sure she wont get back with him but thinks she still loves him, she told me this last night and i was very gutted, but i didnt show it.

I want to keep her friendship, but am concerned that if i tell her how i feel she may start to neglect me, she may not i dont know.I sent her a message to say dont rush into anything (because shes a bit stressed about her ex). She replied and said "whatever happens i am never going to leave you or move away again because i love you baby". I didnt quite know how to translate this. I am assuming that was just a friendship thing.

I am not sure if to tell her how i feel just incase she gets back with her bloke or just leave it and do the "best friends" thing for a while longer.

Is it best to just send her a message telling her how i feel, starting with "i need to be honest with you......" and see what she says ?!

But then again if she was interested surely she would have said, unless she is too hung up on her ex to notice.

 

What do you think i should do ?

 

Thanks

[shoobs]

Sorry man...i think you have entered the "friends zone". What she said is purely out of friendship

if you still want to ask her out then DO NOT do it by text. it would be better face to face as you can answer any questions and analyze those priceless reactions. whatever you do do not make it too heavy and mushy look at my posts and you'll see how much our situations match.

 

OH WHAT THE HE LL.....JUST DO IT!! WE ONLY LIVE ONCE AND YOU WILL REGRET THE "WHAT IF'S" IF YOU DONT.

[optimistic]

Axl.. life is too short to simply just not know..... It's too short to simply let opportunities slip through your fingers and lose out on something that might change your life.... if that's what you want.

 

Definatly do not do this on a text message... This is a face to face converstaion.. My advice would be to call her and go for walk somwhere nice, the park, some woods but not a public place like a coffee bar or restaurant because there could be some emotions needing to be shown.

 

Sit down and tell her how much you love your friendship with her and what it has grown into. Tell her that you always want to have that friendship regardless of what happens in the future. And then tell her about exactly how you feel.

 

She may need time to come to terms with what you tell her. She may be overjoyed, shocked, speachless or any other number of emotions.

 

You have to let her know that even if she says no that this may affect your furture realtionship with her in a negative way. But explain to her that lif is too short for her not to know how you feel. That way, if the worst case senario happens and she says no, she will remain frinds with you but not give you signals that can be mis-read, like in the earlier texts.

 

Go for it man. What really have you got to lose.

 

optimist.

[Axl]

Thats great guys, thanks for the help. I am seeing her alone tonight so I think it would be a great time to get my feelings out in the open.

Is there any subtle way I can go about bringing the conversation up ?

 

Thanks again

[shoobs]

i don't think i could tell you a way to start it up. how about...."there's something i have to let you know". Tell her that you feel that you are abusing her trust if you don't let her know because she might think that all this time, yo hung out with her because you felt that way.

 

Let us know how it goes....

[Axl]

I told her, she didnt really say how she felt she just said "thats sweet and that she doesnt mind". I told her that i had to be honest, but i think its safe to say she doesnt feel the same and she has been acting slightly differently to me lately. I guess thats only natural though.

Maybe it wasnt meant to be, or if it was not yet.

Never mind could have been worse.

[shoobs]

thats unlucky. i'm sorry for you. What you should do is to stay her friend and NOT talk about bieng together and stuff. She'll come round eventually. Just act normal and not needy.

 

good luck

[Axl]

Cheers man, I havent seen her since, she keeps making excuses why she cant come round, all of which i know arent strictly true. I do however value her friendship so I would love to remain friends.

The only things is, i am getting a little worried she will not speak to me again, i still get the odd message but like it says earlier on this post she isnt saying "love you" and stuff like that now because she obviously doesnt want to get the wrong idea. Infact the messages seem kind of nasty to what i am usually used to !

[optimistic]

Hi Axl..

Ahh man I sorry it didn't work. The positive thing is that at least you know the score now.

 

Definatly remain friends and don't push yourself on her and keep contacting her. I found that is the best way to make a girl/woman/lady put as many barriers and distance between you. I know that you don't want that.

 

Mabe you are misreading what she is saying to you as being nasty because she's wording what she writes now in a "Friendly" way as opposed the "Brotherly" kind of love..

 

Keep your chin up mate... There are girlies everywhere I'm trying.

 

optimistic.