Going along with plans, but really undecided

[goodguy30]

So here I am, about to engage to my girlfriend (Ana) and still having doubts about she being the one for me.

 

To make a long story short, I met her about 5years ago. I fell for her (Ana) on the very first day we met. I tried very hard for one year to capture her heart and was successful to a point (physically). She left town and we kept in contact, but I also met somebody else. Once I decided to end the relationship with Ana to continue exploring the new possibilities with Bea, Ana told me that she had fallen for me. At that same time I moved to a different city, so I entered in a long distance relationship with both Ana and Bea. I was able to meet with Ana on many ocations. Ana, being the more educated and with a brigther professional/economical future, was able to visit me often. I was also able to keep in touch with Bea. Ana challanges my intellect but we also argue a lot, sometimes it stresses me out. Bea always calmed me down. Bea has some personal problems that don't allow her to travel much, and as such we couldn't see each other as often.

 

I have great memories with my encounters with Bea. I am really in love with her physical attributes; for some reason she is able to really hit on the spot when her gifts and actitudes. I feel I can talk to her about anything. I can also talk to Ana about anything, except about Bea. Ana is so sharp that she can talk about any topic with authority. I am proud to sit next to her in social events.

 

Anyways, in the last five years I've broken up with Ana about 3 times and have gotten back together, mostly because of her insistance. I enjoy being with her, but I sometimes have doubts about she being the one. I never established a committed relationship with Bea. But, she is always in the background, in my mind. I don't know if I really love Bea or if it is just me idealizing her and, as a result, missing her. I feel I can not be without Ana. But when I think about marrying Ana, the though of Bea always shows up.

 

Ana is 31, Bea will be 31 soon. Ana is also concerned about the clock ticking for having a family. I bought a ring today, thinking of Ana, but like I said Bea is always in the background.

 

Anybody read the thread to the end? I'll appreciate any comments you may have for me......

[kauaiangirl83]

Why are you planning on proposing if your not sure? i couldn't help but think that if you did propose, but realized later that you didn't want to get married to Ana, you would feel horrible breaking it off. What if you went through with it, but you weren't really happy, so you decided to get a divorce? I just think that you should know for sure that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life before asking the question. About Bea, I'm not really sure what to say about that. Maybe you think your attracted to her because she's comfortable? I'm not sure. Hang in there!

[San123]

I agree with the last post, I wouldn't propose unless you are certain she is the one for you. With that being said, it sounds like you are attracted to Bea more for physical reasons, which wont last anyway. It sounds to me like you are idealizing Bea a little...but i would definitely wait to propose until you know for sure how you feel!