Im just curious to understand

[acidreflux54]

On e-harmony, i was speaking with someone and he gave me his phone number by e-mail, but i requested a secure call so that he can call me instead. He never called. What are the factors of that action? Why does someone give you there phone number, but not want to talk to me when I

requested a call?

[DN]

Probably because he wants a woman who doesn't care about out-dated gender roles and is ready to be assertive as well.

[acidreflux54]

I think that if they want to call they will call regardless of gender rolls.

[DN]

I think that if they want to call they will call regardless of gender rolls.

Then why didn't you call?

[acidreflux54]

He didn't respond to my call request, so i felt like he didn't want to talk to me. I don't know if that's the same thing that he's thinking of why i didn't call. But isn't he suppose to chase when a girl call requests? I wasn't ready to give out my phone number yet, but i didn't tell him that. I just clicked on the "call request" button.

[DN]

Women can chase as well. This is what I meant by out-dated gender roles. Many men these days will screen out women who expect to be chased - they are looking ahead to an equal and balanced relationship.

[jaysmaury]

I think some of these "outdated gender roles" don't necessarily need to be overturned simply for the sake of trying to move toward some sort of gender-equal utopia.

 

Maybe he is new to the site and doesn't know exactly what to do? I could see why you wouldn't want your number getting out there just yet, though. Maybe send him an email and see if he got your request.

[DN]

The OP asked why he didn't call - that may be the reason. He gave her his number and expected her to call if she was interested. Bu saying "no, you call me" she is putting him in the situation of having to chase or do all the 'work'. Some men find that sort of thinking tedious and won't play that game.

[acidreflux54]

Women can chase as well. This is what I meant by out-dated gender roles. Many men these days will screen out women who expect to be chased - they are looking ahead to an equal and balanced relationship.

 

what do you mean by equal and balanced relationship?

[DN]

Where one person isn't pre-eminent over the other - the two people are equal partners in every sense of the word.

[acidreflux54]

ok, thank you.

[quantumst8]

This is why I stopped online dating. Things are so much less complicated in person. If I meet a girl while out and about, perhaps at a grocery store, and I start a conversation with her, and she likes me, she'll just give me her number. It won't be, "Hey, you seem nice, but we just met, so I'm not going to give you my number. Instead, let's meet back here at the grocery three or four more times and chat. If after a couple weeks of chatting with you in the produce and seafood aisles I feel comfortable around you, you can have my number and you can call me. Then maybe we can get lunch at the deli accross the street."