Dumpees where the ex came back...did you take him/her back?

[gluestick]

I'm not talking about toxic relationships where there's violence, abuse, or cheating. But for couples who've had normal relationship problems (too much fighting, GIGS, etc) and can't work/didn't want to work things out AND the dumper wanted/agreed to reconciliation, I pose the following question: did you take him/her back?

 

1) How long did your relationship last?

2) How long was your NC or LC?

3) Who was one that established the reconnection?

4) Who was the one that initiated the reconciliation?

5) Dumpees...did you take your ex back? Why or why not? (i.e. you no longer had feelings so you didn't want him/her back, you made self-improvement changes but he/she did not, etc.)

6) How long were you together for the second time around? Was it better the second time?

 

Obviously everyone's situation is different and is dependent on age, emotional maturity, and experience, but please feel free to share your stories or that of others you heard about. Please treat this thread as a survey. I think it would be an interesting thread to read to pass time if a lot of contributors bump the thread. Thanks!

[Eocsor]

1) How long did your relationship last? 14 years

2) How long was your NC or LC? One year No Contact

3) Who was one that established the reconnection? she was

4) Who was the one that initiated the reconciliation? she was

5) Dumpees...did you take your ex back? Yes, I was still in love

6) How long were you together for the second time around? 10 Years

 

Was it better the second time? It was, then eventually it wasn't.

[Angler]

I was going to answer the survey based on my relationship prior to the current one, but that one ended due to her cheating.

 

I am hoping in 2-3 months I can be a statistic in this survey, though

[NoDice]

1) How long did your relationship last? 14 months

2) How long was your NC or LC? NC-5 weeks

3) Who was one that established the reconnection? she was

4) Who was the one that initiated the reconciliation? mutual/ more so she was

5) Dumpees...did you take your ex back? Why or why not?Because I still loved her and still do

6) How long were you together for the second time around? Was it better the second time? 6 weeks, it was awesome in the beginning but later on she had issues once again with herself and left.

 

nearly 3 weeks NC now, ugh man seems like this road never ends. What is F'ed up is that in the back of my head I realized not enough time had passed for her to change even though I had worked on my self insanely. Fingers Crossed and Chin up these days.

[gluestick]

My cousin's story:

 

1) How long did your relationship last? him and his wife were together 1 year in HS, brokeup and went to college, then dated 2 years until they broke up a second time

2) How long was your NC or LC? 2 years NC, although he called her once to wish her happy bday and she called him 2x to reconcile, but he turned her down both times

3) Who was one that established the reconnection? she was

4) Who was the one that initiated the reconciliation? my cousin...he realized that she's the one

5) Dumpees...did you take your ex back? she was in love and dating another man, but ultimately she picked my cousin because of their history together

6) How long were you together for the second time around? they are married now

 

Was it better the second time? according to both my cousin and his wife, yes they are much happier now than they've ever been in the past

[Mesemene]

1) How long did your relationship last? Before B/U I year. After reconciliation, 4 yrs on and off (mostly on)

2) How long was your NC or LC? 8 months

3) Who was one that established the reconnection? He was

4) Who was the one that initiated the reconciliation? He was

5) Dumpees...did you take your ex back? Why or why not? (i.e. you no longer had feelings so you didn't want him/her back, you made self-improvement changes but he/she did not, etc.) I did - when we broke up for the second time though, I was the one who left the relationship.

6) How long were you together for the second time around? Was it better the second time? 4 years. And yes and no, sometimes it was great, but the taking for granted eventually took it's toll.

[Nick Lansing]

I've been dumped and reconnected with three times. Twice I said no, because I was with someone new by the time they "came back," and one time we did reoncile.

 

1) 1.5 years before, 6 months apart, 1.5 years after

 

2) 1 month or so LC, 3-4 months of NC (she initiated it by ignoring my efforts to communicate for a month or so; I stopped trying and then it was about 3 more months of total NC)

 

3) She did. She responded to an old email I'd sent that she'd ignored, then texted me the following day with something random.

 

4) I asked her out about two weeks after that email, then after the date I asked her if she'd like to do it again some time, and she said she'd think about it. I think we slept together about a week after that -- she initiated that, thereby screwing up my plan of taking it slow!

 

5) See above

 

6) 1.5 years. It wasn't better. At first I was on cloud 9, and even writing about that first date after reconnecting brings back really happy feelings... but we went too fast and never really go over the pain we'd caused each other. She did want to get married but, having been married and divorced before, I saw major signs that we probably weren't compatible for a lifetime together. When she realized a marriage proposalwasn't forthcoming, the relationship wound down. Also, my mom was rude to her the one time they met... that didn't help. The breakup was fairly amicable though, and we've stayed in touch some (we broke up almost a year ago).

 

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