plz help me, help her

[Ravens_eternity]

i need help but not for me it's for my ex GF. we are still friends but it's been hard. in the last 4 month. she just changed just like that. she smokes like crazy (1.5 pack a day), she used to hate beer and now she is drinking like there will be no beer in the next 10 years or something.

she don't call any of her friends anymore even her best friend from 3 grade and they always been friends non of her friends have even been able to talk to her even after leaving text and vioceM. she don't call back or even pick up the phone. she has not sleeped at home much her mother say she is always out and sleeping at a old girlfriends(amanda) house for like 4-5 days out of the week some time the whole week.

the only time any one can call her like her mother or father is when they call her at work.she use to always have her room clean like crazy clean but now her room is like a nuke hit it. it's like she just changed 180 and want the other way. i dont' know what to do to help her she is vary vary stressed out of her mind and she is not the type that can take the smallest stress. but she been take the stress from work and her life and taking it out on all her friends and the one she love most ME. and i know why she is doing all this stuff but she also know she is heading the wrong way she even told me. but she just don't know what to do and i told her that like i said befor and always that i'll always be there for her no matter what and she know this but she don't want to let me help her in any way.

i know why she broken up with me from all her stress and stuff and she tells me she need her own time, i know this too but i really love her and i want ot help her in any ways that i can. please help me, help her.thanks for your time in reading, sorry it's so long but i tryed making it short as i can. ask me anything you need and i'll tell you more

thanks so much

[Beec]

Wow, I don't know what to tell you. I onyl see two possible ways to go for you.

 

1. To let her know that you will be there, whenever she needs you. But that you are not going to go running around after her.

 

2. Get her family and you and her old friends and intervene. Toget ehr with them and trap her and see if you can get her to get help.

 

Unelss she wants to improve of change, you cannot force her.

[Ravens_eternity]

thanks for the tip beeC but i have tryed it all.

 

1. i do tell her that but like i said she has been pushing every one away. even me the one she says that she love most of all. when i tell her she is always like i know, i know , i know. and thats why i care so much for you and things like i love you beacsue your the one always on my side and the only one that understands me.she tells me she love me so much but she just need time to work things out (but like i said even she knows that she is taking a head dive down a 100 floor roof). and when anyone, even me trys to help she just kinda push that person even more away.she has been hide keeping, keeping stuff and lieing even to me. she has never done that to me even befor we want out, that was like 5 years ago never a lie and now.

 

2. we have all tryed to help her one way or another and stuff like that i have even taken time from my life to talk to her mother,father, friend she has known for a long time, even friends at her work that know me.

you can say i must be most hard head.big hearted and stuff like that. guy for even putting up with all this even after she ripped my heart out and kicked it it about. but i know something is wrong with her. if she changed slowly ok i understand but one day it was like pooofffff...

180 in 1 sec flat. and changed. it was like WTF every one thinks the same way i do about her . it was like from ms. nun to ms. nun of your beeswax.(i think you get the point)anyways back to what i was saying

they have said the some thing "she has changed alot out of nowhere.

even her mom and dad who most of the time don't care much about where she goes at what time. is getting scared from this.

 

Q: do you think me trying to help her is getting more in her way?

Q should i do now?

Q love her with everything i got but i would rather help her get well and be happy then her being back with me(even if my deep cut well never heal with out her) do you think i'm doing the right thing?

Q: do you think this is just something she is going through becasue i have read lots of stuff at this place and i can see that woman after being with a guy at the age from 18-25 and has dated for about 2.0-3.5 year they do this and leave there man. why is this so?

 

anyways thanks for your time and if you can help in anyway please do thanks so much

[Beec]

If she says she needs time to work things out, then ask her for her plan. Ask her what she is going to do. See if she will make a deal with you that you can hold her to.

 

I mean you need to make her want to do it, or it won't happen.

[Ravens_eternity]

i have tryed that but she never tells me what she is even planing. but the funny thing she said she know what she is doing is not helping or working but for some crazy thing she is still doing it and like i said she know she is taking ahead dive down from a 100 floor high roof.

i have also tryed making her or tryed geting her to make deals that would help her and she will not do any it. she gets her vary hard head from her mother and father.

 

so i don't know what to do trust me i have tryed doing everthing i can come up with that will not make her push me and others aways. but non still work. you must think mybe give her the time she wants. i have tryed that to but she is going crazy(drinking and falling to sleep at others house,and all most never coming home, smoke like there going out of still. and she have even changed the way she dress from nice near goth but not gath to vary high mini's and tank tops that look like it's made of 3 g-string put to gether. she use to be vary sexy but not slvtty you know what i mean. but my GOD she even told me, guys driving around tryed picking her up thinking she was a hooker. what can i do to help her from doing crazy thing like this.

plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help i don't knowwhat to do anymore.

i'm so worryed about her

[RobzGr8]

Honestly, from someone who used to try to solve everyone's problems, let it go. Eventually, you will end up being the bad guy when all you wanted to do was help. I've been there. Many times before I learned my leason.

 

Unless you can fly, bend steel in your bare hands, and have a giant "S" on your chest...bail. Stop getting involved. Let her fall on her own. At least when she hits bottom, she'll only have herself to blame.

 

You can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves.