ex and I hung out, his idea.

[waterlilly]

my ex and I broke up almost 5 months ago. He got in touch with me today. He wanted to hang out. WE did. He brought me goodies. WE had a good time, caught up. HE apologized to me for things he did. I did too. IT was good. And crazy. I was soooo happy today. so glad to be on my own. Then this happened.

I didn't ask him to stay for dinner or crash at my place(he lives an hour and a half away). I was so strong, confident, together, grounded. Then after he left, I sobbed.

I don't know what to think yet. Need to process it all. Before he left we hugged. He said how glad he was to see me. How glad we could do this. How much I did for him. He lingered leaving. Said I looked good. I asked if he would come by again(he will be in the area for a little bit). He said it depended on how we both felt. I said yea.

It was good. Glad we are processing, feeling peaceful in ourselves and with each other. I love him still. I miss him at times. I don't feel the same and that is okay. I know I still need to be single for awhile. I don't know if we can get back together or not. But last night I would have told you I would probably never see him again or at least never hang out with him again. WOW. I don't know if I even would want to get back together. I have changed so much.

[Oneironaut]

What an awesome read...you didn't grovel or beg, and you have accepted that you have reached a place of healing. Good for you, this was very uplifting.

[waterlilly]

OH, thank you. I felt so proud of myself actually. OUr breakup was drawn out and ugly. WE both did and didnt want to break up. At times we both groveled and begged. But in the end, I was the last one to still be clinging on..... To be at this place feels really good. Onward and upward.

[offplanet]

That's great you got through that so well. However please be careful if he's going to be coming over again. Don't allow yourself to be brought down from the good ground you've gained.

[happymeboy]

AMAZING READ !!!!! big bravo to you...what a change...strong control and emotive ending : i have changed so much...BEAUTIFUL !!!

[SethSLC]

my ex and I broke up almost 5 months ago. He got in touch with me today. He wanted to hang out....*stuff*.... He said how glad he was to see me. How glad we could do this. How much I did for him. He lingered leaving. Said I looked good. I asked if he would come by again(he will be in the area for a little bit). He said it depended on how we both felt. ...*stuff*

 

He still has feelings for you. He is interested in you (easy to see with the lingering and looking good comment, I've done the exact same thing in the past). He is taking cautious steps out into the swimming pool of life with the "depended on how we felt" thing, but while guarded he is still starting to put himself out there vulnerably by asking to meet up with you.

 

Take some time and figure out if you want to reciprocate and put yourself out there as well, and if you decide you do then go for it and good luck

[waterlilly]

Thank you for your support and kindness. It hasn't been easy to get to the point I am now. The thing is, I had completely given up any possibility of being with him ever again or even having a friendship. There was still sadness over that though. Whatever happens is totally okay. Which feels great. I am at a place where I don't want a serious relationship with anyone. I don't want a commitment right now either. I feel so good about the possiblities in my own life and am focusing on getting it together. I would like to hang out with him again. I saw enough yesterday to see that the elements that made me fall in love with him are still there.

 

Seth, Thanks for the feedback. Good to get a man's perspective. I love how you put .....*stuff*.....very cute.

I will keep ya'll posted.

[EgoJoe]

Thats how it works waterlilly, you give up then BAM. There they are.

[waterlilly]

lol...so true EgoJoe....so true.

 

And when they do....proceed with caution. I don't want to have the rug pulled out from under me.

[EgoJoe]

I could relate my story to drive that point home but it appears that you're already on the right page.

[waterlilly]

wanted to give you the update. So that all happened on a monday. That weds I sent him a text asking him over on thurs. On thurs I ran into him at the store. He had sent me a text(which I hadn't gotten yet since my phone was dead). He was camping out during his week off and really wanted to get back out there. We hugged. It was fine. I told him if he wanted his music off my computer to call. That sunday he called. HE got the call to come back to work sooner than he anticipated. He wanted to hang out then before he went back. I was leaving to go somewhere else though. I kept my plans. We chatted on the phone for a little bit though and it went great. He said he would call when he was back around.

 

Not sure what he wants. I know he wants peace and friendship, he is that type of man. But I also wonder if he has any desire to reconcile one day. Or does he want to smooth things over in case he needs me. I told my best friend that he showed up with gifts and money and apologizes and he didn't ask for anything. She said "Yet". Sad, but possibly very true.

 

As far as me, I don't want a relationship with anyone right now. I have a hard time seeing us together ever again. I am not attached anymore. I am happy. Realizing I am far happier alone than I am in a relationship. Feels really darn good.

[mhowe]

Well, then --- it doesn't matter what he wants. It should be about what you want, and you seem pretty clear on that. Don't give your power away --- you have been thru the fire and come out stronger and in more control of your life. You don't need to change your plans or yourself for anyone -- unless you choose to. Enjoy your new found freedom and the best relationship of all....with yourself.