Having a really tough day...could somebody help?

[lyndsaylynn]

I am having such a tough day today. I feel so hopeless and worthless. I am 47 years old and I feel like nobody will ever be attracted to me because my ex isn't anymore. I feel like I have lost my best friend forever. I am afraid I will always be alone.

 

I just want to wake up and feel happy, not sad. I want to be able to make it through the day without crying. I want to feel like I am worth something again.

[thejigsup]

Hey, it's not over till it's over. I'm older than you, single, and yesterday two men told me I was beautiful. It's all about attitude, honey.

[purrbaby]

I understand how you feel. I am 31 and have been feeling that way lately. I'm trying to pull myself out of this "funk" I've been feeling by taking long walks, exercising, and I went and bought some new clothes. I don't want to be alone forever either

[beacon]

Hey, it's not over till it's over. I'm older than you, single, and yesterday two men told me I was beautiful. It's all about attitude, honey.

 

Haha, preach!

 

Here's something I read today that provided a little perspective for me, lindsay. I hope it does for you as well.

 

link removed

[lyndsaylynn]

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words.

 

Beacon, thank you also for the link.

 

I have heard of the book "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person" from my ex. He once told me he read it when he was going through his divorce 27 years ago. I think what I might be suffering is a withdrawal from an addiction to this relationship. I have always had issues with abandonment, and I think the demise of this relationship has triggered those feelings.

[Naomi99]

I totally understand how you feel. Exactly how you feel.

 

Sometimes lying in bed and crying your heart out really makes you feel better. Emotions are like waves. They pass. Just hold on tight until it goes away.

 

What helped me is downloading audio books and listening to them in bed on my iPhone. It takes your mind off of dwelling about him.

[Imprimatur]

Haha, preach!

 

Here's something I read today that provided a little perspective for me, lindsay. I hope it does for you as well.

 

link removed

 

Interesting stuff!

[lyndsaylynn]

I think I made an important step toward healing this afternoon. I blocked his emails.

 

I can't believe how much better I already feel.

[Flannel PJ]

Honey, I'm 51 and broke-up with my guy last week. We were together 3 years and talked about marriage. But that's all it boiled down to was TALK! I am also unsure of the future. I tend to weep at night, when the loneliness hits me. But I know my needs were not being met and the only way to go was a complete break. What I'm trying to say it that it's OKAY to mourn the loss of a love. Time and our hearts were invested into something that didn't pan out. Cry into a washcloth...it's soft and comforting. The tears will end eventually; for both of us.

[DaveTrump]

cry when you need to. spend time with your friends and family and keep yourself busy.

[ChocoBears]

Hey,

 

What you're feeling is totally normal post breakup. Hang in there. Feelings, like clouds, come and go. You will not always feel this way. I promise. The sadness and hopelessness passes. It sounds like you are depressed and feeling quite down on yourself. Please try to separate the loss of your ex from your feelings (criticisms) towards yourself. You are not worthless. Who cares what your ex thought of you? That's one person. You will not always be alone. These feelings will pass, I promise. Perhaps reading a book on breakups will help you during this period of time. I know it has helped me gain some perspective and guidance.

[lyndsaylynn]

Thank you so much. I appreciate all of the positive support.

[Liraele]

That was an interesting link, and probably something that is true for a lot of us. I think even when things are bad, maybe we get addicted to the pain, and hang on for far longer than we should?

 

(((hugs))) for the OP. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

[Naomi99]

If you have medical insurance, what really helped me was therapy. I did six sessions of therapy in two weeks, with two different therapists! I also went to group meetings on interpersonal relationships. This was way before NC. I was truly working on my relationship, but he had nothing to do with therapy. Shows you how much he was invested into the relationship.

 

Anyway, therpay was invaluable. My therapist also prescribed anti-anxiety meds (not harmful if taken only when needed) to help me get some rest. If you feel you cannot sleep and keep waking up in panic, you will only wear yourself thin. Try to get something to calm your nerves.

 

Also you will lose your appetite and be prone to dehydration. I made my GF bring me over a ton of eggs, juices and soy milk so I didn't have to leave the house. Be sure to take your vitamins.

 

Sleep all day if you must. There's no easy way out of it, so just do what you're able to do until the feeling passes. Don't force yourself to go out. I did, and I felt miserable.