Made contact with ex after a prior meeting gone wrong

[ForwardOn]

Long story short. Ex broke up with me more than 6 months ago. Went NC/low contact. She was always the one initiating. Recently, I met up with the ex twice, the first after she asked to meet, saying that she missed me, and the second I asked. Things were flirty, fun but understandably awkward the first time 2 weeks ago. And then the second time, this past Sunday, I took her to dinner and it seemed like a proper date. At the end of the night, I leaned in for a kiss, which she seemed to return at first and then stepped back and said I'm feeling uncomfortable. I then told her that all I want is her happiness and that I'll just disappear and be gone. She said that logic is messed up and that she's not necessarily happier without me. She said she didn't want a relationship, asked to be friends, and I said I already had enough friends. She said that I was overreacting because I was hurt. We hugged and I told her I care so much about her, and that unless she wants to have something with me, we should probably not talk. After she left, I deleted her off of Facebook, but haven't blocked her off gchat.

 

Fast forward to now: I've been feeling bad about the Sunday meet up. I didn't want to leave the impression as bitter and overreacting. I wanted to tell her that a lot of emotions were going on, but I wasn't doing anything out of malice. And I was also worried about her job situation (she had a recent interview and was waiting to hear back; in the meantime she is really broke, which made me feel really bad). So I texted her last night and asked if she heard anything about the job. She texted, not yet, doesn't look good. I said: k, want to talk about it? She said: not really, ego blow but whim of the interviewer, helping sister with college essays--very time consuming, how are you? I said: good, want to check in on the job situation. And to talk a bit about Sunday, but if you don't want to talk, that's fine, too. She said: I'm sorry, not in the mindset right now and trying to get the essays edited.

 

So I left it at that for now. Feeling kind of defeated. I feel like no matter what I do, I'm always doing the wrong things.

 

Any thoughts?

[1m50L0nl3y]

I think you're moving too fast and you are not keeping your cool. When you went for that kiss, without her telling you (explicitly) that she wants you back, you went for the all or nothing.

Your second mistake was to tell her that you would disappear, NEVER threat women with vanishing if you're going to be contacting them again.

In this moment she wants free dinner and an ear to listen to her (whenever she is in the mood and not busy), if that's what you want you are well routed to being her friend.

And finally your third mistake was to push her to talk about the Sunday incident, when you had already deleted her from FB.

I'm not saying you screwed up in a permanent way, but you did.

You are looking desperate and immature, in fact I think she has more power than you in this "relationship". I would suggest you to go NC, because you will mess up pretty badly if you keep going the way you're going.

If she contacts you again, BE CAUTIOUS about your words and desperate acts....stop making threats to her if you well know that you will be contacting her again.

[Eocsor]

She's not interested in a relationship. You are. Friends is totally out of the question. So go No Contact to heal yourself. You won't do any hopes you have any harm at this stage. She's put you in the friend zone and any further contact now benefits her and hurts you.

 

Leave her alone and cut contact. If she wants you she knows where to find you.Go on with your life as if she isn't coming back and let the future take care of itself one way or another.