Ms Darcy Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I wish I knew why men would throw away someone who they considered to be great. IT JUST DOESN"T MAKE SENSE! Girl, he broke up with you after 5 months, got back with you and pretty much has been cheating ever since reconciling. He didn't "throw you away" ... he did you a favor! You deserve better. Now YOU need to learn that. Link to comment
travella Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 Girl, he broke up with you after 5 months, got back with you and pretty much has been cheating ever since reconciling. He didn't "throw you away" ... he did you a favor! You deserve better. Now YOU need to learn that. Wow Darcy! Thanks for reading my previous posts. I feel like such an idiot for taking him back. While we were apart for 5 months, he has had five one night stands. This should have been major warning signs that he still wanted to play the field. When he came back, I ignored all this and continued with us without really addressing why he broke it off the first place. I really thought that this time would be different because he acted like he really loved me. But then when we got back together, I found out that he was trying to see another girl behind my back. I was willing to forgive and move on with us bc I loved him sooo much..but he didn't want to work on the relationship anymore and essentially gave up. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Eocsor: That's exactly the qualities I am talking about. Why did you break up with her if she had all those great qualities. What made you regret? Did you try to get back with her? I didn't break up with anybody. You have me mistaken for Penseur Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I dumped a really great girl one time. We were together for 2 years. Now, looking back, I realize I had something very special. She was beautiful, smart, kind, and would have done anything for me. I will always regret the decision to end it with her. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I dumped a really great girl one time. We were together for 2 years. Now, looking back, I realize I had something very special. She was beautiful, smart, kind, and would have done anything for me. I will always regret the decision to end it with her. why did you end it with her? Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I dumped a really great girl one time. We were together for 2 years. Now, looking back, I realize I had something very special. She was beautiful, smart, kind, and would have done anything for me. I will always regret the decision to end it with her. How long ago was the breakup? Have you ever attempted to reconcile with her? Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 why did you end it with her? I had to move to another town (only 30 minutes away!) and didn't want to be tied down by the relationship. I felt a strong need to experience other things, other people. Textbook case of "didn't realize what I had until it was gone." Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 How long ago was the breakup? Have you ever attempted to reconcile with her? Wow, the breakup was ~7-8 years ago. I have thought about attempting to reconcile but have never really acted on it. We talk occassionally, have actually gotten together a few times post-BU, but nothing has ever come of it. We consider each other friends. I honestly feel bad about what I did to her and would never expect her to want to get back togther with me. I wouldn't if I were her. These days, I look back on what we had with fondness and consider my decision to end it, and the regret afterwards, one of life's lessons. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Wow, the breakup was ~7-8 years ago. I have thought about attempting to reconcile but have never really acted on it. We talk occassionally, have actually gotten together a few times post-BU, but nothing has ever come of it. We consider each other friends. I honestly feel bad about what I did to her and would never expect her to want to get back togther with me. I wouldn't if I were her. These days, I look back on what we had with fondness and consider my decision to end it, and the regret afterwards, one of life's lessons. Interesting.....how long was it until you had the realization that you did about that particular relationship? Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Interesting.....how long was it until you had the realization that you did about that particular relationship? It took a while. Can't really hammer down a timeframe, but the realization came after dating others, observing other relationships, learning, etc. Over time, it just got to the point where I was like "Wow, i had it pretty good, she was great, I messed up, etc." Link to comment
travella Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 It took a while. Can't really hammer down a timeframe, but the realization came after dating others, observing other relationships, learning, etc. Over time, it just got to the point where I was like "Wow, i had it pretty good, she was great, I messed up, etc." Mactownman: If you know you messed up, why didn't you try to reconcile it. Isn't she worth the effort? Link to comment
bob333 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 'Good Girl' can mean a number of things, my first GF was a good girl, she didn't drink (much) or take drugs, her feet were firmly on the ground - and knew what she wanted from life, meet a nice man (are all men manipulative ? - I'm nice, just a good person I like to think, even if I do like sex - but in a happy relationship) get married, have children, just be normal. But I was different, I was young, wanted to party. At the time I felt no regrets, I did party and had lots of fun, but now I am much older and mature - I wish we could meet now, I would like to marry and have children, and she was the sort of girl I would liked to have done that with, guess our lives were just in different places in our heads at that time. I wonder how she is, I wonder if she met Mr right, is married and with children - I hope so for her. Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 My ex is already regretting things. Haha too little too late -_- Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Mactownman: If you know you messed up, why didn't you try to reconcile it. Isn't she worth the effort? Everything happens for a reason. There's a reason they split, I think the past should be left in the past. Link to comment
bob333 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 It took a while. Can't really hammer down a timeframe, but the realization came after dating others, observing other relationships, learning, etc. Over time, it just got to the point where I was like "Wow, i had it pretty good, she was great, I messed up, etc." Guess I definitely had a case of Grass is Greener when I was younger, its like I was driven by my genes to experience other things, I was very upset myself to break us up, but I did it, she was very broken hearted. I recently went to a social do with people like hers (our cultures were a little different) and I realised why I broke us up, in the end we were a bit different. But when you've done the rounds you realise what you really want, you also realise that you have to give up a bit, you realise you need to compromise and be mature, be more level headed when the heat is on. But I guess some need to take that journey to reach that place, and when the right one comes along you'll feel ready to properly commit. For me its been a long time coming to reach that place in my head. I dont regret, just feel sad we had to experience that heart ache. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Everything happens for a reason. There's a reason they split, I think the past should be left in the past. I was going to say the same thing!! Completely agree!! It is helpful to take what we have learned from the past to do even better in the future. We get to learn more about ourselves and what we are looking for in a mate. Link to comment
Baudilaire Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I know what travella means by 'good girl'. I think some of you have over thought the term but I totally get it Link to comment
kolaida Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I hope I don't get in trouble for bumping this thread. It sucks when someone is willing to grow together and the other not. But it really sucks when the person was just taking advantage of you and flat out admits it, and even goes as far to admit that he KNEW you weren't on the same page as him!!! What that one guy said about the truth behind "nice guys" couldn't be any truer! It would be nice to find a man willing to grow with you instead of all these guys that think they can just screw around until they're all financially set and then some super-hot, amazing model is going to be waiting for them when they're in their 40s. At least, that's been my experience and it's left a pretty bitter taste in my mouth. I used to think when women said men only think with one head and it's not the one on their shoulders they were being too harsh, but maybe they were just being brutally honest. And, for the record, I didn't dote all over him, while I did give him a few compliments, I mostly did my own thing and had my own friends. He actually told me I should be ashamed we didn't hang out more with each other's friends. Even though I INVITED him to and he declined each time and would flat-out ignore me in front of his friends. Oh, but everyone thinks he's just so nice. Whatever. I'm through with it. It's his loss. Nice guys just want to get laid, they're no different from jerks. Basically means every guy is gonna be a jerk. Link to comment
bob333 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I'm still figuring out if I broke up because I was bored simply of the sex, or of her. If I could take sex out of the equation we may not have broken up, but all that stuff is 'in my jeans' so to speak, its part of my making, I still might have walked. Saying that I did go on to have lots of fun, and good and bad experiences, so I can grow old and not regret not having done some things, I have a good perspective of what I do and dont want from a woman, I definatley feel more mature as a man for having done those things too. Growing up you can put a womans body (and sometimes her mind) on a pedestal, the way she beautifies herself, and tries to procure men - I am no longer slave to that, I view the opposite sex with feet far more grounded in reality. I think our society has evolved to let us 'package' ourselves ready for promotion - especially women, you have become so sophisticated with makeup and clothes - underneath it all is just the same sack of flesh and tissue as anyone else. Like a car in the show room, all shiney and smelling new - ready for consumption, men really need to see past that. Link to comment
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