its been 4 months....

[texaslove]

Its been 4 months since AG broke up with me. I am still trying to get over it. I still have these thoughts of "what if" and dreams of him coming back to me. I have no idea if he is dating anyone new, and I am not sure if I want to know. He broke up with me in March saying "I just don't have feelings about anyyything anymore, I am so bogged down at work and stressed out and I can't do this anymore" blah blah blah.... I had seen this one coming (unlike the previous Ex who was out of the blue). When I moved 2 hours away for grad school he was so excited for me, but then slowly the talking on the phone and texting was less and less. He would always just say "A! I am at work allll the time and I get out so late, I dont wana text you at 2 am and wake you up" - Even though I had asked him to because itd just be nice to wake up to him saying hello and I missed talking to him. I knew he wasn't feeling it anymore or something in general was wrong and when I came home for break it all went down. He told me I wasn't losing him, but that it just wasn't working. So, I left in tears and made it thru the work week in the same building as him, no talking and went back to school... Wrote him a short and sweet letter, no begging, just about how i understand his decision to end things even tho it wasnt what i wanted and that i still wanted to be with him, and if he ever felt the time was right, to come back to me. I also said, if you dont wana get back together its ok, but lets stay "friends" and not lose total touch (only becus i knew id be working around him during my breaks and itd be nice to be cordial and just know how each of us are doing)... NEver responded to my letter, and then when i came to work in May I had to initiate the "hello how are you?" and he answer in monotone, short words. I left and now I am back. Still no contact from him in the last months and now at work he still wont be the bigger person and atleast smile and say hello when he literally passes right in front of me in the the hall. I don't get it? We didn't have a big blow out breakup, I am still hurting, but really no hard feelings and I don't see how I couldve ever possibly hurt him, especially since he did the actual breaking up. I have tried to be nice and tried to give him time and space, but I really do just wana talk to him and see whats up in his life because i miss him and i care about him... AM I CRAZY to want to talk to him even if its just hi how are you??? I am leaving for a week then coming back for two more days of work, and he will also be back then from his short vacation... if I see him should I turn my eyes the other way or atleast look him in the eyes giving him the openness to say hi if he wants, or should i just go up to him, or should i give it all up and do nothing and he does nothing....

 

I always thought he would contact me. . . maybe thats why I am hanging on. Dang it, I hate this

[hazelnut321]

Hi Texaslove, First of all, I had to respond to someone with your name. Texas is always going to be a strong love of mine.

 

It's so much easier to see things objectively when you aren't involved. What's going on here appears pretty straight forward.

 

Just from your synopsis, you and he are both in the prime of your life. 25 is a great place to be! You're done with most of the angst that comes with becoming "grown up". It's a time of self discovery and dating and having a great time. LDRs usually don't work under the best of circumstances, but when you are at this pivotal point in your life- it's almost always going to end with a BU (my opinion).

 

Secondly, the reason that he's acting strangely is that he feels guilty about the way things ended and awkward when he sees you. It doesn't mean he doesn't care- much to the contrary. If he didn't care, he could be Mr. Friendly.

 

I know the pain of losing a love, believe me! I'm twice your age- it's happened more times than I care to remember.

 

But from where I'm standing it appears as if you have a bright future ahead of you. You're in grad school, it's apparent that you've generally got your act together. Timing is so key in this life, Texaslove! If you had to move, things weren't meant to happen with him right now. It doesn't mean you won't be together sometime in the future, but you should prepare yourself for it not happening and move forward. LOVE WILL FIND YOU AGAIN- PROMISE!

 

I think you need to quit trying to be his friend. Mirror his actions toward you.

 

Good luck- You are going to be just fine!