I love and miss her so much

[james]

Hi,

 

just thought someone could help, I am 23 and was going out with a girl for the last six months I fell for so quickly for her which is strange for me, I have had longer relationships but this was blew me away I loved everything about her and still do!

We were so happy she would tell me how much she loved me and how happy i made her and just made me feel so happy so I just went with the flow and totally let my guard down. She broke up with me just over a month ago saying that she needed freedom and said she still loved me and was in love with me but needed to concentrate on herself without having to worry about someone else. she had done that a couple of times before but we always got back together after a couple of days.

She was hurt by an ex and I just hope she doesn't think that if she gets to deep with me that I will hurt her. I'm scared this time that i"ve lost her I have never felt for anyone what feel for her. I can't concentrate or think about anything else but her I feel so lost without her, we have had no contact now for a month and i don't want to lose her as a person even if that means without a relationship! I want her back!

 

 

Lost and Confused

 

James

 

[JustPlainSad]

Some key statements here..... "was going out with a girl for the last six months", "She broke up with me just over a month ago" and "she had done that a couple of times before but we always got back together after a couple of days".

 

You were together for 6 months, she broke up with you a month ago. That makes it 5 months, if not its still 6 months. She has done this a few times to you before before, I'm guessing 2-4 times. So over the span of 6 months she has broken up with you 3-5 times.....

[james]

We went out for six months in total, it would have been over 7 by now, she broke up with me twice only in the last month the longest was 48 hours.

[rich46]

James, do a search with my username and you will see that I know exactly how you feel. The difference is that I was with my ex for 3.5 years, and when she was approaching the age of 22 she became more and more distant and eventually told me she needed "to be single for a while" and "it's not about other men, just my state of mind." I am the same age as you too, so I know it is tough. The fact that you have broken up so many times in such a short space of time indicates that you should both have some time apart for the foreseeable future. I believe 2 people can get back together in the future if they were once in love, but getting back together so soon after the break up usually is only a short term solution. It is frustrating I know, but you simply have no choice but to move on with your own life and work on yourself. One day you may end up with this girl, but after you have taken the necessary steps to heal, you may eventually realise that you two simply weren't meant to be.

 

Good luck and keep posting,

 

Rich

[sayer7]

i agree with both... it seems the relationship wasn't stable through-out.

 

Move on and you'll find many other women out there that are a lot more stable minded than her. I know you love her and you put 110% into the relationship, but she obviously didn't if she kept breaking up with you so many times.

 

Don't stop opening up to people and loving them whole-heartedly. I once read something that said a 'heart with chunks missing is preferable to a heart that had never truly loved or sacrificed itself'. I'm just not very eloquent but it made some sense. lol

 

Pain is just a part of life... you cant avoid it-- so why not love and live with all of your heart. Someday you'll find another person willing to do the same for and with you.

[sfangel1]

It seems that your girlfriend might be confused as to her own life and her own goals. I think she needs time to find herself. Unfortunately, if you truly love her, the only thing you can do is respect her need for space. It is hard especially at that age to find yourself and your goals in life with a relationship taking up a lot of her emotional time.

 

I know it really sucks, I was in a similar situation where my boyfriend wanted "space" to get to know himself better. After days of crying and feeling rejected, I decided that my love for him was strong enough that I could let him do what he needed to do to be a happier person. And at the same time, I took that time out to do things for myself like pick up a hobby or reconnect with long-lost friends.

 

In my situation, the time apart made my boyfriend realize that he missed me and he needed my support in order to accomplish his goals. And we eventually reconnected and got back together. It is possible that your girlfriend needs some time to reflect on your relationship, and to realize how much you care for her. Considering that you have only dated for 6 months, and you have separated briefly at least twice, the best thing is truly to just let her have her space. It could be that you met her at an awkward point in her life. But have hope, it sounds cliche, but if you two are meant to be, you will get back together. Hope this helps!