are good girls extinct?

[jurupa]

Like the person who started this thread, I am into "extreme" things and I seem to be good looking enough since I get a fair amound of attetion from girls. And I also have trouble finding nice reasonable girls. Most girls I find are either married or blow me off for various reasons. I know you girls are out there, but finding you girls is dam hard. Maybe if you girls come out to play more it might make it easier. And no I do not goto college type parties or to clubs as I do not like those things for various reasons.

 

 

But what I do find funny is that everyone is labeled "nice" even tho they may not be. It cracks me up when I hear this and their body language says other wise.

[Outlaw2747]

Good girls do exist but they are a very endangered species. Either they will die out or they will evolve into a form we do not want to see. I have been with THREE girls who were nice but then turned into the most dispicable people in the world. One left my high school without telling me and got with another man, one used me for money and was messing with 2 other guysd and married another, and the other CLAIMS to have loved me only to change suddenly and appear heartless and say slanderous things about me....probably without even realizing it. But I have met some nice girls, like one I talk to who lives in Australia, another I work with, and another back in New York.

 

Now as far as parties, I frankly do not like to party much, but I avoid girls that live just to party (two of my ex's were prime examples) because they will get drunk and endanger their relationship by losing all control and judgement. It is okay to go out once in a while however. As of right now I am not looking for anyone, but rather waiting for the right one to come along. I am for the most part over my ex's but to think I have been decieved and lied to and lied about by these girls is just hideous.....guys are not the only scum out there people....

 

It has even gotten to the point I don't trust some girls that CLAIM that they will never do anything to endanger a relationship or ones that say they will never leave you. Well guess what? I had a girl say that and you want to know what she did? SHE LEFT ME. Wow, talk about dedication. But it is okay because what has happened to the victim will happen to the assailant 3 fold. It happened to my first and third ex gf who betrayed me and I didn't even have to do anything. Maybe it is karma as a nice friend of mine put it.

[Outlaw2747]

She not worth it. Let her go her way. And should she come back, you need to lay her the truth on how you feel. She may not like it but think about it, she gave you something you didn't deserve.....betrayal. And it hurts. But the truth hurts as well, but you giving her what she DESERVES. Think of it that way.....hope that helped man. I am not a good advice giver.

[Shinobie]

ya dude just let her go man she is not worth it if she tells u something that uplifting then just smashes u into pieces by leaving u directly after she is messed up.Thats the only benefit to never having a gf i have nothing like that too look forward to because i never ever had a relation with a girl....

[light bulb]

Shinobie, you're on the right track now! Forget about relationships and just have fun doing whatever it is that you enjoy. If something happens to come your way, you'll be happier...to be happier, you have to be happy in the first place. So get out there and be happy!

[Ated]

AFFIRMATIVE!

 

Before you love someone, you have to learn how to love yourself first.

 

TIP: Girls like confident guys, but not TOO confident that they put on a show and think that they are 'big shots'.

 

[Outlaw2747]

Yea but the whole confidence thing doesn't work all the time either. If you are slighty confident, you are considered egotistical and perverted. if you are shy you are regarded as weird or gay. I don't get it really. I seen it happen to both types of guys.

[warnerbro1]

I agree 100% Outlaw. I'm extremely shy and people do look at you like you've got something wrong with you. It's hard, but I'm trying to work on getting over this social anxiety and trying to become more assertive, etc. A lot of irrational thoughts go through my head when I try to think about approaching and talking to someone. My older sister, who used to be even more shy than me, told me that you'll come to find out when you actually do start talking to them, is that you'll find the opposite of what you're thoughts are telling you. They actually accept you and find you fun to be around.

 

That's just a little thought for those of you who are also struggling with shyness and self-esteem/confidence issues.

 

I also agree with the confidence point of view. I know some guys that are confident and nice but are seen in a negative manner.

 

Oh well, just drink away your problems. (j/k)

[SomeGuy112]

Ok wow long thread but I resent the first page anyway. I think I am a "nice guy" but I love to party... I don't particularly like drinkin but I can see myself having a few drinks (not getting drunk) going to loud parties and such. The girls are right there infront of you, just because they like dancing and even drinking doesn't mean they are bad girls. Sure, keep away from druggies and the like, but drinking is not the mark of a bad girl. I wouldn't personally like to be aorund a smoker just because it would annoy me but I don't particularly find anything "wrong" with them. Anyway man...keep an open mind, you will find some girls with great morals just havin a beer like te rest of us.

[Shidoshi]

I think whats trying to be said about girls who drink and party are that they are LESS likely to be the type that will settle down with one guy. Although there are always exceptions, in my experience, girls go clubbing and drinking in the hopes of "hooking up" with someone they find attractive for whatever reason. I look at my sister and her friends who go clubbing, and from what I hear them talk about, they enjoy dancing/drinking and the like, but they do it because there are men there, and they want to have fun with attractive men (they all have boyfriends btw). It's like a game of sorts, "lets see what kind of man I can attract."

 

And of course, time and time again I hear about how alcohol is responsible for any act of infidelity. Hell, I've been drunk before, I think of alcohol as a kind of truth serum, it allows you to let go of your inhibitions temporarily so you can behave the way you would truly like to, but don't get me wrong, I know that there is a certain level of toxicity that can alter your behavior no matter what your feelings are but by then you're usually passed out.

[Shinobie]

Well i dont get the confidence part of myself since the fact how am i suppose to get confident to have girls like me if i never have attracted one girl in my life to make me feel alright?Im starting to feel quite positive that im ugly cause EVERY girl that comes in the restaurant never smiles at me or gives those looks.My friend richard always says how when they leave they always smile at him and wink at him and stuff.Girls r just always complimenting him on how he looks.I have never gotten that in my life.They usually just look over at me they see ugly then they look away i guess and never look back or smile because they dont want no ugly male for a bf when they could get something better like my friend.Although my intentions r a lot better then my friend and i would treat that girl so good and never do anything bad to her and not hurt her in any mental way in all outcomes that its possible.But that doesnt matter because young girls judge u by your looks they dont give u a second chance for personality and the good of ur heart i guess thats just the way it is

[Outlaw2747]

That is why you are more likely to find your true love when you become older because for some reason, their sense of good judgement is alot better than when they are say....18-25? They are just after fun and good-looking guys for the most part. We are young men and we cannot be trippin' over these females like this. We must have some patience and let them have their fun while we find ourselves a nice, sweet, and MATURE woman.

[Shinobie]

I just cant get out of this bad frame of mind i mean even some of my friends r agaisnt me.Friends that i have had for awhile and they r being jerks about the subject although they do not know the pain i feel inside besides the anti depressants i take.My friend told me that my other friends said that i will never get a girlfriend...and thats not exactly the self confidence booster i was looking too from friends.....That just makes me feel worse when i actually am starting to feel better once again my friend started bringing up that subject and he was saying that they r cold and he believes i will i tried to stray away from it i cannot stand to get on the subject of girls around friends ill try to change the subject or tell them i have to go do something and my friend has prolly noticed i constantly notice i get nervous about that subject.I dont want them to notice im so insecure about that subject because i cant express anything about girls around a guy who has a gf and has had about 9 more in his life with me still at 0.I still feel bad but i should care what they say because one of them is a stupid pervert that has never had a gf.I know that i would be so much better for a women then the friends that said crap behind my back but i still just dont feel good about what they said.

[Outlaw2747]

Who needs those morons anyways? And they are the ones to talk! There are girls out there who don't want a dirty lil perv and will ignore him. So thereforeeee, their statements are irrelevant and ignorant. Hopefully you WILL find a girlfriend and prove them wrong. I had people tell me I couldn't even get a girl to talk to me then get angry when they see a girl on my arm. There is your motivation right there homie, make them feel stupid. PROVE THEM WRONG!

[doorik]

This book describes women remarkably. How did you get to know women so well?"

"I just thought like a man, then took away all logic and reason." ~Jack Nickelson (cant remember movie name)

 

You got this wrong dood.

 

"how do you write women (characters in books) so well?"

 

"I think of a man and take away accountability and reason"

Movie was As Good as it Gets and that line is definitely a quotable one.

[Alabama]

I too wander where all the good woman are at. I myself am a nice guy and I'm not perverted. Yet I notice around my high school it seems that so many girls are 'shallow' and all they want is a cute guy. I'm definetly not cute. I know all girls aren't like this...thank god...but I too wonder where all the good girls have gone...hmmm...

[Alabama]

I totally agree. I personally judge someone on their personality and not their looks. I just wish it seems that thie majority of the human race woudl think like that...oh well...

[ShySoul]

I agree, looks don't matter it's who you are in the inside that counts. Most people in this world are shallow and superficial. They tend to far outnumber the "good" girls and guys making it seem like the good people are nonexistant. Us good guys just have to stick it out and hope that we'll eventually find someone thats right. Good people do exisit and do eventually find each other.

[chanceit]

I agree, looks don't matter it's who you are in the inside that counts. Most people in this world are shallow and superficial. They tend to far outnumber the "good" girls and guys making it seem like the good people are nonexistant. Us good guys just have to stick it out and hope that we'll eventually find someone thats right. Good people do exisit and do eventually find each other.

 

So true - but depends on the definition of 'good' of course. i mean just cos a girl gets drunk at parties / sleeps around etc. etc. doesn't mean she's bad - just not the right person for you.

[locksmith01]

Ironically, they're all looking for guys like you. That's the way it always goes.

 

I read your reply. Where are they? All I ever get is, i just wanna be friends or I just wanna party and have fun. Probally the places I meet them =}

[odysseus77]

So true - but depends on the definition of 'good' of course. i mean just cos a girl gets drunk at parties / sleeps around etc. etc. doesn't mean she's bad - just not the right person for you.

 

of course it means they are bad...it means they have total lack of morality and self respect...what the heck do you think bad means? You would argue hitler wasn't a bad guy, he just wasn't compatible with the jews....gimme a break there is such thing as good and bad and its drawn down the line of morality...i mean, by your explaination everyone is good.. come on

[lusitana]

Hold on there. I know caring and generous people who happen to spend all their spare time in a bar picking up a new girl/guy every night. It doesn't make them bad people. A person who goes out drinking doesn't necessarily go around stomping on kittens and back-stabbing their friends.

 

I've never done anything drinking that I didn't at least seriously consider doing while sober. "I was drunk" has never been an excuse for anything I do (except puking, once, from cheap vodka).

 

As for sleeping around, some girls think that's the only way for a guy to like them or the only way to show their affection. That's something they've been trained to, and they don't know any better. It's painful to watch them get hurt repeatedly, especially since they usually end up with guys who just don't care one way or the other. Alternately, there are good people who seek out random sex for sport. If they're being honest about it with their prospective partners and not leading anyone on, I don't see that as evil. Highly risky, maybe, but that's informed consent for you.

 

When you run around hurting other people because you can, that's bad. After that, it's just a fuzzy gradient up to good. I retract my earlier post and pose this to you instead. Do you want to know where your good girls are? Try your local evangelical Christian church. They'll be there, involved in their junior adult outreach groups. Some of them will be paragons of virtue. Some definitely won't. Good luck sorting them out. You won't be able to use the "drunken quotient" as a criterion.

[Outlaw2747]

Okay well getting drunk is a bad thing but doesn't always mean the girl is a bad person but sleeping around is, and I do not condone that action AT ALL. It is disrespectful and demeaning to herself and the men she sleeps with. I detest these girls who go around and think it is okay to mess around with like 20 million guys yet when a guy does it, he is some snobby pervert (and he is but she should not be doing it either). So thereforeeee BOTH type of people are wrong. Now getting drunk is usually bad on a physical terms but as I said earlier, doesn't make them a bad person unless it is an everyday thing, because that lapse of judgement gets to you after a while.

 

Quite frankly, I don't bother going to bars to even TALK to females, too much risk and alot of the bad stereotypical girls lurk there, not to mention the competition for girls can get nasty there....that is a no-go zone for me.

[chanceit]

Hey people are allowed to have different morals and values and personality traits to yourself.

 

You can't judge a person just on how many people they have slept with.

 

And this whole thing some people get hung up about with whether someone is a virgin or not is silly as well, who cares if you've had sex or not - it doesn't mean anything about the sort of person you are!

 

A good person is some who trys not to hurt other people - is there for theirs friends when they need them and who can be trusted.

[odysseus77]

lusitana, im not talking about stomping on cats and back stabbing...or good and bad as in good or bad people...good or bad as in good girlfriend or wife material or bad gf/wife material...and obviously the good wife material girls are the ones who are not getting train ramed at a frat party, and if u argue to me that they are fantastic people as well for a girlfriend then you must be delerious. If one is looking for a long term serious relationship then they are looking for the girls who aren't sleeping with 20 dudes, which is the most important aspect, not the drinking...I dont care if they help orphans in their spare time and are great people, that DOES NOT mean they could be seriously considered as gf material if every guy in town has been in her pants...that DOES have to do with morality whether you like it or not, and i think that that is very immoral in every guy/or girls book who have been taught better