5 year age gap...legal issues?

[brtlangst]

Okay here goes...I met this guy online that I immediately clicked with. We both have the same "out looks" on life and I've never met anybody like him! I know the dangers of online dating but he knows one of my good friends, and they've met before. So anyway, we've been talking a lot, and on the phone a few times. After a little while I became his girlfriend. But my parents soon found out and flipped, they threatened to take legal action. He is 20 and I'm 15, it wouldn't be a huge deal if I was 20 and he was 25 but...Anyway I've always had more in common with older guys, I've dated a guy who is 18. I guess I can just relate to older people in general because they're more mature. If you look at some of my previous posts I talk about how I had to grow up fast.

 

I told my parents that we had agreed to wait three years for eachother so that way I could be 18 and date him without my parents bothering me. Which me and him had a long discussion about, and we're both ready to do that. But, he's coming up here this weekend and I'm going to go visit him at a public place with my friend Doug who knows him. [My parents don't know] I guess I'm just scared I could get this guy in some legal issues, because he's a sweetheart and I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt him

 

But I've been trying to find Ohio's sodomy laws and I've had no luck...I think the age that you can legally consent to sex is 18 there, but I just want to make sure. I don't plan on having sex with this guy I just want to know these things in advance.

[genz44]

Be aware that Federal law forbids crossing state lines or international borders with the intent of having commercial sex with a person who is under 18, or any sex with a person who is under 16 and at least 4 years younger than the perpetrator (18 U.S.C. 2243 (link removed), 18 U.S.C. 2423 (link removed)).

 

However, the age of consent in Ohio is 16. I'd say don't do anything for a few years or at least one and when you're ready, make sure you are both ready and willing to commit to some sort of relationship. Don't rush into things, you still have a few years left in your life.

[avman]

Ohio's age of consent is 16. Any sexual contact between you and him could get him in major trouble.

 

Here is Ohio's law:

 

(A) No person who is eighteen years of age or older shall engage in sexual conduct with another, who is not the spouse of the offender, when the offender knows the other person is thirteen years of age or older but less than sixteen years of age, or the offender is reckless in that regard.

 

(B) Whoever violates this section is guilty of corruption of a minor, a felony of the fourth degree. If the offender is less than four years older than the other person, corruption of a minor is a misdemeanor of the first degree.

 

Since he is greater than 4 years older than you - this would be considered a felony and thats a serious crime. It would mean prison time if he were convicted of it.

 

Your parents have already made it clear they would take legal action if anything happened. Don't risk it. If you care about him, you certainly don't want him rotting away in prison.

[brtlangst]

Thanks, I'll take that into consideration, but we are still going to meet tomorrow. I've taken all the precautions as to having my parents not find out, and he knows the risks. But this will be the only time until my parents become more comfortable with the idea. I want to see how compatable I am with this person. My parents have agreed to meet him eventually...and we're both willing to wait till I'm 18 to get into anything serious.

[genz44]

Well, its good you can meet him in a comfortable place with a friend. Just make sure your parents never ever find out.

 

Good luck!

[skinnest]

My advice is that until you are of legal age that you grow the friendship before engaging in sexual activity...

 

It may save you both a lot of pain (aside from the legal issue)

If you don't begin sexual activity too sooon and fall deeply in love then you will always have the fact that he was noble and his intentions honorable because he waited until you were older before beginning sexual realations. If the day comes that you must tell your parents that you are in love with an older man, this will be a very strong point in your favor. If he really cares about you he will not pressure you at all about sex. I waited 1 year to ask a girl out and then a year and a half (until she was 18) before we engaged in a physical relationship. Anyway it is a good excuse to let the relationship grow in areas other than sexual.

 

I have been involved for 2 1/2 years and because she can't tell her parents it has ended at a point when it was the strongest ever. so keep in mind that if you stay together you WILL have to tell your parents at some point so don't complicate the future... in our case telling her parents could save our relationship and the fact I waited for her for 2 1/2 years will definitely play in our favor if I ever have to speak with her father and explain that I really love her and that my intentions are noble (I want to marry her and spend my life with her). Father's are very suspicious of the intentions of ANY boy. But they naturally think that a MAN is just trying to get into your pants. And remember that this often is the case when men go after girls. If it is a habitual thing for him then this might be a red flag to be VERY careful. Don't complicate things or you could end up regretting it for the rest of your life.

 

And including with the fact that we waited, once we began maikng love the age difference became much more complicated. And finally finished with us. It is worth mentioning that we have a VERY big difference but she is already 20. AND STILL IT'S VERY COMPLICATED!