Ok, here is another phone call dilemma, HELP!

[wickedbusa]

Ok, here's the deal. I went out with this girl from school a week and a half ago. Her and I really hit it off and at the end of the first date, we kissed. This was on a Friday. Well, that weekend, there was a death in her family and for several days, I gave her her space to deal with the emotional trauma. She called me the following Wednesday and everything was back on track. Since I go to school with her, we went out Thursday night, had a blast, and at the end of the night, we hugged and she actually made the move to kiss me. On Friday, we had lunch together, had a blast with lots of interesting conversation, and at the end of the "lunch date", I leaned over and kissed her. Her and her family did a car wash thing this past weekend to raise money so she was pretty much busy her whole weekend. I last spoke to her on Saturday morning, just to say hi. I tried calling her Sunday night, got her voicemail, so i left a message. Since the services for the death in the family was Monday and Tuesday, I didn't call, nor did I expect her to call. Well, it's Wednesday now and I tried calling her a while ago and i got her voicemail again. I left her a message again asking her to call me. Now, my question here is, should I be freaking out because I've gotten her voicemail the past two phone calls? I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she is really busy and can't talk, but in the back of my mind, I kind of have this feeling that she is avoiding me. Should I not be feeling this way? I really miss her and just hearing her voice right now would make me feel a lot better. I don't want to blow up her phone by calling her like crazy or anything, but I was going to try calling her again tonight before going to bed. Can someone please give me some feedback, especially the ladies off this forum?

[goddess23]

right now, definitely give her the benefit of the doubt. i mean is there any possible reason she would be AVOIDING you? seriously?? if not then you really should relax, im sure shes busy, maybe just not in the mood to talk because now its starting to sink in. but if you guys see eachother in school and all, dont freak out about it. youve already called twice, so leave it alone, let her call when shes ready or maybe she'll be online or something. just relax, seriously! lol

[wickedbusa]

I've been thinking about whether or not shhe has a reason to avoid me and as far as thee I can tell, I don't see any reason , I think. I mean, everything has been wonderful up until the last time I talked to her. I just wish I had some kind of sign that she is still alive.

[Scout]

Whoa!! I think you're getting a little too intense here about someone you've just had a few dates with. Step back and give this whole situation some breathing room. It's obviously her turn to call. Don't call again. Two messages is perfect, three messages is way too much, so I repeat: DON'T call again. There are obviously two outcomes here:

 

a) the death in the family is taking it's toll on her time and emotions and she needs to do a lot of family stuff right now

 

or:

 

b) she's not interested in pursuing a relationship with you

 

Just sit back and eventually you'll find out which is the case.

[wickedbusa]

Whoa!! I think you're getting a little too intense here about someone you've just had a few dates with. Step back and give this whole situation some breathing room. It's obviously her turn to call. Don't call again. Two messages is perfect, three messages is way too much, so I repeat: DON'T call again. There are obviously two outcomes here:

 

a) the death in the family is taking it's toll on her time and emotions and she needs to do a lot of family stuff right now

 

or:

 

b) she's not interested in pursuing a relationship with you

 

Just sit back and eventually you'll find out which is the case.

 

Scout, advice taken. I haven't made any phone calls since the second call. I am going to see her tonight in class and I am focused on just school. Her and I did have a dinner date set up for a week from Saturday, so, I guess I will hopefully find out how she's doing today. I'm taking that step back and lettings things fall where they may, for now at least. She's a sweetheart and last thing I want to do right now is push her away. Thanks Scout (and of course, goddess) for the advice. I'll hang in there and keep you guys (and gals) posted.

[Cecelius]

I am going to agree with Scout. Chances are either she likes you and all you can do is drive that into the ground by calling too often (you won't keep her excited about you if you are around all the time, and she definitely wants to be excited) or she doesn't like you that much and all you can do is look like a knucklehead.

 

Be a man, be interesting, be exciting, and be gone.

 

Also, whether she wants to jump you right now or not, she's a quality woman who has to attend to her family needs right now. If she's into you, she'll turn to you pretty quickly.

 

I would say from here on out, do not call her at all for the foreseeable future. You already have a class with her so you know you will see her then no matter what. Let her call you.

[wickedbusa]

UPDATE - Well, I was supposed to see her in class last night, but she didn't show up. Her daughter got sick during the course of the day so she missed a class. I haven't made any more attempts to make any kind of contact. Since she is part of my learning team at school, I SHOULD be seeing her on Monday when we meet, Thursday at school, and Saturday for a make up session at school, AND for the dinner plans that her and I had previously made. Until the next time I should be expecting to see her, I guess it's back to the good ole NC rule.