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1 month without my first boyfriend- he treated me so bad and took me for granted

Panblanco

By Panblanco
in Breaking Up Advice

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Panblanco Newbie

Panblanco

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My abusive ex sent me a letter after a month of no contact,saying that he love me a miss me so much that he going to moved to Florida or Puerto Rico, also he said the reason why he don't come back is because i told him that if he leave me one more time i wont take him back, he get mad for no reason and always blame me for it. he said i am the best girl he ever met so why he take me for granted>? do you think he is trying to manipulate me by saying he is living and saying he love me and miss me to live a door open?. Also in the letter he says to not be scared to talk to a nice guy but if he do something to me he will kill him. also he told me to go out a lot ( he knows i don't go out a lot )and then he say he love me a lot more than ever, so why he is trying to playing with my mind, because i know he is not telling me to go a meet a guy just because he is a good person, he is very jealous and like to have power over me. He left me last summer too, so he probably want to mess around with girls and then come back to me ( i am not taking him back no more, but i want he to regret what he did, and see i was a good girl). we were together for 4 years on and off- he knows me a lot so he probably know how to manipulate and what to say to me- he is studying psychology almost finishing his bachelor.

 

Like i feel so bad because i was there for him in his good and bad time. i was there when he was fat and chunky even though he was treating me bad. Now he used steroid and it is in shaped , so he feel better about himself so he probably want to see what he can catch out there. Last summer he left me and when i took him back he explained to me that he felt real good about himself and he thought he could get any girl he wanted. so now he looks even better so he is probably having sex with a girl or something because if he love me why he doing this to me and doesn't change his behavior?

 

He is abusive, and im so tired now i feel stupid that he dumped me but at the same time i feel peace, but i miss him. he took the ring he gave me, every time he breakup with me he asks me for the ring. i want to regret leaving me and treating me like this, i know he wont find a girl like me even their parents told me - they always take my side, his mother told me i will suffer a lot with him because her husband did the same to her but he changed and started going to church and now they happy. but my ex he Adventist , but he don't follow his religion and one of the reason i got with him was because he seemed a nice guy from church but in reality he very different, He don't even go to church no more and every time i take him back he get worse.

 

i feel so down, he call me name, hit me , criticizes me just to feel good about himself and withhold sex and say he is not feeling me no more- he used to say this to me a lot " i don't even feel like having sex with you . i don't feel in the mood" but during that time he was using steroid and was off the cycle, and i know that when you are in a break off steroid you sex drive is low, but instead he tried to put me down and miserable saying that he don't want to have sex with me. but in the letter he sent me ,he admitted that he love to have sex with me. why he is like that with me, playing mind games with me? i know it is my fault because i always take him back and he is not even scared to leave me because he knows he can get me whenever he want.. Please help me and tell me what you think?

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Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

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I don't understand???? This guy was abusive and will continue to be until he seeks long term counseling! Nothing else should matter.

 

Time to love and respect yourself! Do your family and friends know about this???

 

Please get counseling for victims of abuse.

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Panblanco Newbie

Panblanco

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like i guess i am so stupid and innocent. i never told my family because i am in love with him(i don't love him like before) and i thought he was going to change. i was blind, i pray god every night to make me forget about him . i didn't tell my family because you know when you are in love you don't pay attention to the signs. but i don't know why he is saying that in the letter he sent me .. i feel so sad, like i don't have support from my family because i don't want to tell them what i been through for 4 years, my mother don't like him because he leave me all the time and then come back and manipulate me saying he will change, but this time it is worse he is telling me to go and talk to guys and go out when he really don't like when i go out, so he must hate me now or are he is trying to manipulate me? because at the letter he say it many times he love me ...

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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No one deserves to be hit or abused. I think the best thing for you is to distance yourself. Block his number. Send his letters back or just tear them up and don't read them. Also, find yourself a good counselor or support group. if you were willing to look past being hit "because you love him" you must be careful not to repeat the cycle. He says he loves you because he is trying to manipulate you.

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Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

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He has shown you repeatedly who he is. Listen! God, why do people stick with people hoping they are going to change. UGHHHHHHHH!

You may love him but, why don't you love and respect yourself? You have to know that this treatment does not represent love!

If you can't be honest with your friends and family about your partner, you KNOW that they are wrong for you.

Time to address your issues with low self-esteem and get yourself into a group that specializes in abuse. No more excuses!

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