Considering therapy....

[CGE]

Hi I'm 20 years old and recently have noticed how socially awkward I am. I have also noticed I have low self-esteem (have a hard time keeping eye contact and really expressing my opinions) and find it hard to talk to new people. I'm pretty smart (had a 3.5 gpa in highschool) and am pretty active (go to the gym often, play on a summer lacrosse team). Ive been reading articles online on how to improve self-esteem and seem more confident but it hasn't really done anything for me and I'm considering getting therapy.

 

I was just wondering if anyone has gotten therapy or some kind of treatment for these problems and if it was beneficial or not.

[Mustachio]

I have been to therapy, but not for self esteem or social issues like yours. But I think if you are willing to do what it takes to find a good therapist you like (it may not be the first one you go see) and really put in the effort I think you will see a benefit to it. You know what they say you get out of it what you put into it. Besides, It cant hurt to try.

[Hollyj]

I think it will be good if you can address any underlying issues. What was your upbringing like?

 

Also, I think it may help if you can involve yourself in more activities, as you will meet people who are like-minded. I met a lot of wonderful people through volunteering, and it did a lot to boost my self-esteem.

 

Good luck!

[CGE]

HollyJ I was the middle child of my family (never tried to cause problems, always tried to resolve them and rarely spoke my mind) and I think I have been in that role for so long I can't seem to change. The few times I've noticed I've had elevated self-esteem and confidence was when I was away from my family for a certain period of time or was doing things I wanted to do. As of lately though, I have been at home or at work (where my dad also works) and I feel like I'm worthless.

[gingerlemon]

I've had therapy at a few different stages in my life, and as long as you find a therapist that you are comfortable with, I think it can be hugely beneficial. So I'd definitely encourage you to give it a try. Make sure you find someone that you can relax and open up/ be honest with, as that is one of the preconditions for this kind of stuff to work. But it offers a safe space to explore whatever issues one might have and try to build some strategies for the way forward. I also used to struggle a lot with feelings of worthlessness (to the point where I tried to kill myself when I was in my teens), and it's definitely an issue that can be addressed through therapy. Feel free to ask more question if you want to know more about the particulars.

[Hollyj]

HollyJ I was the middle child of my family (never tried to cause problems, always tried to resolve them and rarely spoke my mind) and I think I have been in that role for so long I can't seem to change. The few times I've noticed I've had elevated self-esteem and confidence was when I was away from my family for a certain period of time or was doing things I wanted to do. As of lately though, I have been at home or at work (where my dad also works) and I feel like I'm worthless.

 

You have your answer.

They are not going to change but, you can! I would look into moving out and becoming independent of your family. It may also help to seek out a new job.

Why does your family make you fell worthless?

[Clint Cora]

Yes, I'm not so sure that therapy is the answer here too. Try different activities and start getting good at them. Small victories lead to greater confidence. Also, check out local Toastmasters clubs as they have been very effective in helping shy people overcome confidence issues. They are very friendly and supportive.

[CGE]

Believe me I have tried many different activities in my life (Snowboarding, skiing, basketball, lacrosse, golf, paintballing) and some of them I've gotten really good at (in high school I received an offer to play D1 lacrosse). But being good at something only gives me short lived self-esteem and only while doing that activity.

 

I appreciate everyones opinions on what to do with my life but I only started this thread to see if therapy has some beneficial outcomes. Since it seems that way, I'm gonna start looking for a good therapist and see where that path takes me.

[gingerlemon]

That sounds good, there is nothing to lose in trying in out (except maybe, a bit of money). I think too many people see things like counseling or anti depressants and so on in black and white - it's either that OR a range of alternative options. I generally believe that we should make use all the tools that are available (if we believe they are worth a try/ beneficial) and judge them on their practical merit. Going for counselling doesn't preclude also doing a range of other things to help your issues. Good luck!