Can I take this from him?

[hippychick11]

To make a long story short, I recently met my boyfriend I've been talking to online for 3 years, we both live in different countries (he in USA and me in Australia). We spent an amazing 3 weeks together and now I'm back home but I really want to go back and maybe live there.

 

When I returned we really missed each other and he suggested that he could pay half for my next plane ticket and even come back and stay with him at his house. I could tell this was something he'd been thinking about but I thought it was too soon to start making set plans again.

 

Anyway now it's been over a month and he doesn't mention it at all. I'm not that financially well off and it would be so helpful if he could pay half of my ticket like he offered but I dont just want to come out and ask him for it. It's unlikely I'll get to see him anytime soon because I just dont have enough money and it's upsetting, I really want to see him again.

 

Would it be wrong to ask him? and I'd be asking too much to stay at his house for a couple of weeks wouldn't I? or is this reasonable, we are in a relationship but I dont want to seem like I'm being cheap.

[mouseno4]

Hmm this is a difficult one. Could be either way. Could he afford to do it? And whats more, do you really know you want to do this with him? It isnt just over the road.

[wildchild1]

I'd ask him if he the offer still stand, if it is a yes, then take him up on it. If not, get him to help you figure out a cheap way to make the trip.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Notice how he is not making any effort to fly to see you. Also, if you spent your money for the airfare to see him once, now he is only willing to spring for half of your airfare again. He gets a very sweet deal out of this...he doesn't have to go anywhere, you do all the traveling and you spend most of the money. I would seriously re-think this relationship. It is one thing to have a long distance relationship within the same country..but on opposite ends of the world..what chance does this have of working, especially when he expects you to be the one to fly and spend most of the money.

[DN]

I could tell this was something he'd been thinking about but I thought it was too soon to start making set plans again.

If you turned him down it is up to you to bring it up again especially since it is only a month since he offered.

 

And if you want to live there it makes total sense that you would fly to see him - how else would you know for sure you like Australia? One visit isn't enough.

[penelope13]

Are you solely moving to be with him, i.e. is your relationship at a stage where you are both seriously committed to each other?

If yes, I would just bring up that you would like to fly over, but don't have the funds currently. You could offer that you would pay it back at a later point, if that would make it easier to accept money.

 

However, if you are moving there with the intent to experience the country and see if there is a possibility down the line to turn this into a serious relationship, then I would (just my personal preference) not hope/expect someone else to help me out financially. Then I would organize it with my own means so that neither of us feels awkward in case the relationship part doesn't turn out

[Jd1983]

When you went to the US for three weeks, where were you staying?

 

Were you staying at his house?

 

I would give it a little more time before suggesting it. You even said it yourself that it won't be anytime soon.

[superfox]

If you are that committed to each other then he would want to see you as you do him. If you can't discuss flying over for a second visit I'm not sure how you'll get around to discuss you moving out there permanently! Is this relationship rock solid?