My mind is running around in circles.

[Matt Schell]

Ok here is what I am dealing with. My ex and I have been divorced for about 5 years. We have a 51/2 year old daughter. For about the past year and a half we have been getting along extremely well. We are constantly helping each other out, and converse on a daily basis, well almost. At first we agreed we would get along for the benefit of our daughter, but it seems that has just naturally happened. So this is where I am having a headache. For the past couple of months I have fallen in love with her again. And of course I want to be with her again. Now it's easy for me to say she may feel that way also, but I am cautious because I don't know if that is just wishful thinking, or seeing something that is not there.

She has dated a couple of guys since our divorce. I have dated a couple of women, and am living with one now, whom I have fallen out of love with due to some of her behavior. One of which she is very jealous of my ex-wife, and our relationship. She has two ex-husbands whom she doesn't get along with. My ex also had a man stay with her for a couple of months til she kicked him out.

I talked with her mother, (we get along great) the other day to see if my ex had ever said anything about the possibility of us having a future again, and she said nothing specific, but did say my ex said 'her and I have become really close friends, and thinks I am a great father.'

So I don't know if I should pursue my ex again. I really want to. I just don't want to set myself up for rejection, I am not much of a gambler.Nor do I want to get my daughters hopes up either. The other day in front of my girlfriend she said her mom and me are still married. I think she may be confused because we get along so well.

Any way I could use some words of wisdom from someone whom has gone through these emotions before. Please

Matt [/code]

[RayKay]

I do believe you two have a chance however....FIRST, you must think of your daughter which you definitely ARE. AND, you need to be single (as in not living with this other woman!

 

And you also need to make sure that whatever reasons caused your split before have been resolved. If you do get back together - maybe go to counselling BEFORE there are problems!

 

As to winning her back (once you are single!). Satisfy her emotional needs - create emotional dependency, but be independent too. In other words, it is about pursuing and being pursued! Chase, then ease off a bit - games some will say, but not if you are doing it out of love and not manipulation (there is a big difference!). She can fall for you all over again. You already have had a bond, so that will still be there - chemistry can be revived if it was there before!