Is it possible to reconnect with old friends?

[im sandra dee]

Is it possible to reconnect with old friends?

 

I ran into a very old friend last week at our doctors' office. She spotted me and stopped to talk to me and she talked quite a bit with me. It's been a few years since she and I did anything social together. We used to go out and do stuff sometimes when we were in university and after we started working. We were really very good friends in elementary school. After sixth grade she moved overseas but then returned for the final year of high school. Our friendship seemed to be a good one just picking up where things left off. Both of our lives got busy and that's why we sort of lost touch. Well anyway, here is my question. Two years ago I ran into my friend's sister at the grocery store and told her about my breast cancer diagnosis and treatments. She asked for my number so her sister -- my old friend -- could call me. She never called me. So when I saw her at the doctors' office last week, I took a chance and asked for her number and suggested we do coffee or she could come over for tea as she lives very close to me. After she gave me her number, she said but wait until June is over. I guess because she is a teacher she is too busy in June. I felt it was a bit rude for her to say that because I wasn't rushing to get together, it was just a suggestion for whenever we can both do it. Anyway she was on her way to the washroom when she stopped to chat so she had to go but when she was done that's when she said you know what I'm gonna get your number. She could have asked for mine when I asked for hers but whatever. How should I proceed with her? She has sort of let me down in the past being too busy with her life. I certainly was not ever clingy with her as some friends can be at times but I wanted to keep the lines of communication open to keep a good friend. It's not like we drifted apart for being too different. We're not actually that different. She didn't put in enough effort to be friends and I gave up on her.

[Jetta]

She didn't put in enough effort to be friends and I gave up on her.

 

I think that sums up this particular relationship. You can only do so much, and if she is no longer interested you cannot force interest.

[im sandra dee]

I think that sums up this particular relationship. You can only do so much, and if she is no longer interested you cannot force interest.

 

I did try to gauge her interest and I would not say that she is no longer interested. That's too strong a statement. I'd say that maybe she hasn't yet warmed up to the idea but not because of me. She really does have a lot on her plate. Work. Her parents. Her dad is very ill. You know, she was a very good friend at one time and I think it would be nice to help her take some time away to do something fun. I doubt she gets out at all. When she learned that my dad passed away last year, she came to the funeral home. I doubt she would have been there if she didn't view me as a friend.

[anya1607307555]

but when she was done that's when she said you know what I'm gonna get your number.

 

That seems a really strange thing to say, to me. From where, if not you? However, to give her the benefit of the doubt perhaps her mind was elsewhere (you say you met in the surgery), or she was in a rush and wasn't thinking clearly.

 

Also if I were you, I would've offered her my number there and then. But anyway..

 

I would wait until after June, phone her up as promised and take it from there.

[im sandra dee]

That seems a really strange thing to say, to me. From where, if not you? However, to give her the benefit of the doubt perhaps her mind was elsewhere (you say you met in the surgery), or she was in a rush and wasn't thinking clearly.

 

Also if I were you, I would've offered her my number there and then. But anyway..

 

I would wait until after June, phone her up as promised and take it from there.

 

Maybe I wasn't clear in my original post. After she returned from the washroom, she said "you know what I'm gonna get your number". She walked over to where she had left her stuff to get something to write on and came back and wrote down my number. My point was that she didn't ask for my number when I wrote down her number. I could have given her paper and a pen. It was only after she had gone to the bathroom that she reconsidered and decided to take my number. Why did she even need to think about it? I hate to over-analyze it but why the moment of hesitation? That's the only concern I have about getting back in touch with her. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt.