How young is too young ???

[lonelysoul]

unsure whether this should go in 'dating' but oh well.

 

im 16 going 17 and i really like this girl who is 14 going 15. i know she likes me and would go out with me because she told her friends.

 

but im unsure whther the age gap is a big difference for someone of our ages. im going to college while shes still in high school.

 

and IF we went out should we do any erotic or sex stuff (bj, fingering)i want to know wot anyone on here would think or do about any of the above.

 

is she too young?wot about the age gap?pls reply

 

Cheers,

[Gauchori]

What? You are 17 and want to screw up a 15 year old? Sorry for being so mean and out of love... I guess but thats how I think. If you want to be friends or even gf/bf with her thats fine; kissing... weit a wile but... sex?? you don't even know her much and want to screw her up? Come on dude. Leave her clean, fresh VIRGIN!!!! Some people just want to bring this whole world down. Man come on! if you don't have anything better to do go play basket ball, baseball or something else youl like. Sorry for being so mean... and stuff but thats the truth and thats how I feel. Good luck and see ya alround. 8)

[ClareMsUK]

Hey, its a good thing that you felt the need to write, that shows that deep down you are aware she is too young for sex. in terms of getting to know her though by all means! spend time with her and enjoy that time, before it has to get all complicated with relations that even 23 years olds (like me) struggle with haha! Don't worry about the age thing too much so long as you know that your intentions are honourable. to be honest even if she is keen to take things further i'd be inclined to advise you to wait as sex is not just a physical thing and some girls at that age think that because they are physically mature they are also emotionally but they are not!! take things slow there is plenty of time! don't be feeling bad for asking these questions though, you are still at an age yourself where hormones play a large part in how you feel, and that is perfectly normal! good luck x

[aireyc]

Yeah, hang out with her all you want. I admit the age gap thing scares most people but it really isn't bad at all. Some people are sick and take everything to the extreme when it comes to age, but whatever. My father was 19 dating my mom who was 15, and now they've been married over 20 years. But yeah, I certainly wouldn't do anything like that with her. Afterall, why are you in this relationship?

 

Chris

[June4life]

As for the age gap, I think it's fine. A lot of married couples even have big gaps in their ages. My boyfriend is 20, and I'm 17. We started dating when I was a junior in high school and he was a sophomore in college. Everythings working out fine with us.

[Shizzle]

Gauchori would you say that about a 30 year old and 27??

 

dude if you genuinely do like her, then go for it! who cares what people think its deep down that matters to you!

[drahcir]

Its great you really care about her..enjoy being with her and being romantic, enjoy getting to know each other. However I think sex should be put off until you are both older and more committed to each other. It takes a long time to get to really know a person--Usually several years. Be willing to wait for sex until you care committed and both older. IN the mean time just enjoy dating and sharing and caring about each other!!!

 

Have fun and take care,

 

Richard

[hurtabandoned]

Gauchori would you say that about a 30 year old and 27??

 

In Gauchori's defense, there is a difference between the age gap between a 14 and 16 year old and that of a 30 and 27 year old.

 

A 16 year old is more sexually mature that someone at 14. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a boy who was 16. I thought that he cared about me but all he was really interested in was the sex. I ended up very hurt and he really could have cared less.

 

A 14 year old lacks the maturity to make thoughtful decisions about sex. At 14, she may be talked into doing things that she's not ready for and will regret later. They think they are ready and know it all but they don't and they just don't know it yet. Being used for sex isn't something that a teenage girl wants.

 

At 27 and 30 both people are adults. They have both matured and have gained life experience that will help them both in making responsible choices. People at these ages are on a more level playing field. Neither has any advantages over the other. Someone at these ages are less likely to be taken advantage of.

 

For the original question, dating and hanging out would be fine but the sex or anything like it should wait.

[Shizzle]

in all due respect that was what like 14 or 15 years ago! times change VERY fast teens our age now a-days are so much more suxualy aware i think is the best way to put it, most girls in my year used to go out with 17.18,19 even 22 year olds, there we only 16,

[lonelysoul]

thanx for the replys. but for those concerned, i would never EVER take advantage of her and would NOT force her into it, or do anything she was uncomfortable about.

[stream]

hi

Emotional maturity is different for everyone. Brain maturation is something that happens at about the same rate for everyone, except in cases of brain development complications. I just fininshed taking a class at a university about female adolescents and one of the main topics of conversation was how to know when a young woman is going to be ready to have sex. How young is to young? The answer from the perspective of counselers who have worked with girls who had sex very young (12 to 14 yrs.) and girls the same age who had not showed that the girls who had sex at a a young age were more likely, even if the sex was a positive experience, to have issues later in life with healthy boundaries, self-esteem, and self-image. About 50% of girls who choose to engage in sex and feel ready for sex at the ages listed above have been through experiences of sexual or other forms of abuse. Ultimately , they have come to undrstand that older men/guys are more mature and will be able to meet the emotional needs that were unmeet during their early childhood. And society has set a going exchange rate for the meeting of these needs as sex, despite the realtiy that the parts of the brain which process the endorphines and emotional stimulus during sex do not start to develop until around late sixteen. She may feel she is ready. She is not.

love her and support her is appreciating her self as a person and as a human with a perfect beautiful body.

strean

[hurtabandoned]

in all due respect that was what like 14 or 15 years ago! times change VERY fast teens our age now a-days are so much more sexually aware i think is the best way to put it, most girls in my year used to go out with 17.18,19 even 22 year olds, there we only 16,

S4D,

 

Yes eons ago, I thought the same way. Older people didn't have a clue because things were so much different from back then. I didn't realize that things aren't that different at all until I got older.

 

I don't think that teens now are more sexually aware. There's been horny teenagers around probably since the dawn of time. That's nothing new.

 

A sexually mature/aware individual also recognizes that there are certain responsibilities that come with being sexually active. Not all, but many teenagers overlook the consequences of their actions. Some teens just don't have the information or correct information to make the right choices. There are many examples of that here on this sight (unprotected sex, risking pregnancy and catching std's).

 

Last year for a college project, we had to do a presentation at a school. One group in our class did their presentation at a special school. It was a school where young girls that were pregnant could go to school and finish their education. There were girls there from ages 12 to 17. Two girls were sitting at there desks looking at sonogram pictures. One was so young. It was one of the saddest things that I've ever seen.

 

I don't think that any of the girls in that class would have made the same choices if they were given a chance.

 

C-ya later, I have to go pluck some gray hair.

[teenzlover]

Yo pal,

jst b-coz ur 2 yrs oldr than ur gf doesn't mean that u can't have sx with her. Though age gap is not what matters here, I hav neighbors who hav an age diff. of 15yrs. Though I hav never once seen them show anything but luv 2wards each othr.

 

Nd so I do beieve that u cud hav sx with her but I think it needs a hold untl u both hav come 2 known each other nd realise that u both luv each other.

 

Also what my friends here call screwing means making luv also it's just a form of intense luv.

 

"*-_-*-_-*-_-*"

0X Teen~Z~loveR 0X

"*-_-*-_-*-_-*"

[Gauchori]

Hello there dude. About what you asked me- Gauchori would you say that about a 30 year old and 27??

I'll say that there is a big different in age. People that time are ready time have a family, get married, and are capable of so many things that a 14year isn't. She still didn't finished high school!! For most states the law aks for at list 16 years of school. So... do you think that her parents are gonna be actually happy with having a doughter at their house who is pregnet? When you are 27 there is a big difference. You are hout if your parents house, they don't have the resposavility that they did before of you and... all the ersposability is your. Is your will your problem. Most people think... I will never hurt their feeling, I really love her but just want to get a taste of sex! what the heck is that?!?!?!? were is that goint to? Thats no love! and a true relationship is made out of LOVE. By the way, a gf/bf relationship, is to get to know eachother, get to know her! Is not time to put her in bed. Thats what people are thinking this days: when you get in a relationship, you can express your love though sex. Not in a gf/ and bf relationship! Leave that to when you get married. Than get tired of having sex, but leave the poor girls out of this. Leave them free, clean. VIRGIN. This will not be like eationg at Mc'Donals, this will affect the rest of their lives. I'm also a teen and I think this way, and I hope I keep thinking this way because this is the right way.

By the way, I PM you this if you this so you see that I don't have to change my answer or that I type something here and something elsse there!

[Shizzle]

teenzlover sorry but i dont think they should have sex until the girl is legally old enough!! sure have a relationship and all, but i personaly dont think they should have sex! i mean me n Gauchori have a difference in words but i 100% agree when it comes down to the sex! its a fact that most girls arnt really ready at that age, plus the fact that they could easily throw the rest of therelife away IF she got pregnant!

 

 

from what the person who made this topic, it sounds as if he dosnt want to get her into bed asap, he does genuinly want to have a R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P.

 

 

Thanks

 

S4D

[goddess23]

a 17 year old wanting to screw a 15 year old is not disgusting. thats barely any age difference. my bf is a year and 4 months younger, b/c im born earlier in the year (march), so when i turn 17 march he'll still be 15, and wont turn 16 till that july, 4 months later. honestly 2 years is NOTHINGGGGG, 15 year olds are basically fully developed really. thats nothing to think about, that kind of age diff is nothing.

[Gauchori]

I think U missed the age number. Its was a 14 year old to a 17 year old guy so... I hope you remember the number.

[ClareMsUK]

without trying to sound patronising age is important, and although it seems nothing when u r 14 when u are 24 and looking back you realise how little you knew and understood! honestly!! also don't know about anywhere else, but in scotland sex under the age of 16 is illegal... for a reason!! and even at that 16 is still really young, don't everyone be in such a rush to join the world of adults... it sucks!

[jopo]

dude, i go out with a 13 year old man. age dont matter man. u might get some disrecpect from her dad, "what the FFFF are u doing with my daughter" but DONT take advantage of a girl just becuase she is younger and more gullable, i am somewhat guilty of this