Facebook!!!!

[mark4]

I read a lot of threads on here as i'm currently in my healing process myself. I'd say i'm doing quite well so far... I still think about her now and again and have ups and downs but i'm definitely doing better now than I was a few weeks ago...

 

 

When I read threads on here I see so many people discussing facebook and that they are still friends and they keep seeing updates and thing and photos popping up of their ex and new men/women etc.

 

I just want to say one thing... DELETE THEM!

 

I did it, for the first couple of days I was gutted, but it has helped so much in my healing process because I have no idea what she is doing or how great she is pretending it is.

 

Then there was twitter, my ex NEVER used twitter, well hardly ever... then once I had deleted her from facebook, all these updates started happening she was going here, there and everywhere and having such a great time! really though?.... so I unfollowed her...

 

Soon after I found myself still checking these updates as obviously it's a public timeline so I could still access them, and hurting myself more and more everyday!

 

All these updates do is make you sad/down and paranoid.

 

So I have BANNED myself from looking - I set a counter and got to a week, and since then lost count of how many days since I checked and if I do check then my counter goes back to ZERO minutes/hours/days.

 

These steps have helped my healing process more than anything else I have done - if you are still friends with your ex on facebook or reading their tweets or using any other social network site to check up on them then all you are doing is cheating yourself from being able to move on.

 

Once I did it after a while I felt proud... and now I look back and think of the person checking their updates and think why was I even doing that???

 

I think there are a lot of people in NC but still socially connected with their ex's and I can say to you now I was in that boat and until I disconnected from them COMPLETELY I didnt start healing properly.

 

I'm on the right road now... I have no idea what she is doing, I just concentrate on what I'm doing... the longer it goes on the less I care about knowing what she is doing and I would be gutted if I checked and sent my counters back to zero.

 

It's a challenge, but it is doing nothing but good for me and my healing process.

 

Anyway I just wanted to share that with you all as FaceBook is mentioned so much on here and seems to be an issue for many people.

 

Just remove the problem by removing the ex, COMPLETELY and never look back. You will be glad you did it a few weeks down the line.

[dramallama]

Definitely delete your ex from facebook as soon as you two are broken up. Just do it.

 

I don't care if you never use facebook or you are going to remove them from your news feed instead (then why even have them as a friend?). Because keeping them on facebook is just another way of not letting go PLUS it is just going to give you endless new information to analyse and obsess over which is just bad news for your healing. You can NOT start NC until you have deleted your ex from your friends list because it means that you are not letting go yet, and they do not have a chance to learn what life is like without you - you are not letting them feel the consequence of choosing not to be with you. How can your ex miss you if they can access your life at the click of a button?

 

Change your profile setting so that people that are not your friends can only see your names and ONE profile picture. This is a good idea in this day and age anyway because of employers and stalkers online. If the temptation to change your profile picture to get a reaction from your ex becomes too much, or you check their page at all, then just do yourself a favour and block them or get a friend to visit their page and block it for you.

[Doc Blaze]

I say block them too. I blocked my EX because even after i deleted her she kept on messaging me when i went NC