Initiating contact...

[rich46]

Ok I'm getting to the stage where I'm thinking about initiating contact with my ex. It may be a little early, but certainly within the next week or two.

 

Has anyone got any tips on how I should play it?

 

Quick recap. Met at university. Together 3.5 years. She needs "space and time" and "time to be single for a while" but still wants us to be "best friends." I couldn't do that so initiated no contact to get my composure and head clear. We were first loves, she was 18 when we met, now 22. We live an hour's drive away now we've finished uni.

 

Anyone got any words of wisdom? Do's and don'ts?

 

Thanks,

 

Rich

[iceesnowbubble]

hey rich..my advice, make sure that you will be okay if she doesn't call you back or return you email..which ever way you are contacting her, just make sure you are stable enough to take the shock if she ingores your attempt...

Also, remember the whole rule of "no emotion" and you should be just fine.

Best of Luck!

[belle4]

Hey guys,

hey Rich I'm with you. We're gonna have to play it cool. Im initiating contact tomorrow (dinner). I made it clear that I was busy but we could still manage dinner, he said the same. So now I'm just a little nervous and I hope I wont be uncomfortable. I know not to bring up the ugly past but does that include even the good times? Also, I want to show him I'm moving on without BRAGGING that I have all these things to do, friends to be with and that I'm PERFECTLY fine w/out him. How can someone accomplish this? Any do's and don'ts for the dinner meeting?

[anon728]

Rich, I was thinking the same thing. It has been ~6 weeks of NC for me, although she has sent me light emails about once a week, to which I did send light responses. I was thinking of just sending an email saying 'hey' and asking her to coffee or something. She is seeing someone else (at least she was when we went NC), but I would do the standard steps (no emotion, light conversation, etc.). If anything, I think it will help me, and could help you, because the last time we saw each other, I was real emotional, and this way, I can show her that I can be happy without her (well, about as happy as I could be). It would be sort of a confidence booster, because it is almost like I am afraid to run into her unexpectedly (not necessarily an issue in your case); at least this would be in a controlled environment.

 

My vote is 'yes' as long as you go into it expecting nothing.