Been NC for more than a week, should I call/text to see how he is?

[Christy416]

I recently posted on here a few weeks ago that I'm going to try NC with my ex. Recently, I had emailed him to finalize things and ask him if he really didn't want to try to give us another chance. He never really gave a clear answer, but I had a feeling he wanted me to move on from some of the things he was saying.

 

For those who didn't see my last thread, it's basically that I broke it off with my ex after things got a little out of hand during one of our arguments. At first, he reacted pretty badly - blocking me and refusing to talk. But eventually, he unblocked me from his phone (but kept me blocked on his fb) but he did not initiate any contact. I always felt that he still cared so I needed to figure out where we were standing - whether he really wanted our relationship to end so I contacted him via emails one or two times.

 

A little more than a week ago, he called after I asked to talk and we finalized things. I asked him to forget all the stupid little things I did trying to get him to come back. He said "it wasn't stupid and probably would have worked if I was so messed up right now" (He's going through some hard times with his family). I wonder what that meant and as much as I hate to admit it - it gave me some hope that he may come back after things settled down. I know that it's stupid to wait for someone who basically told me I should move on so I'm trying my hardest to move on but it's hard.

 

So the last time I spoke to him was last Friday, I'm wondering if I should text him a small "hey" to see how he is and whether things are alright with him. Would that be alright or should I just let it go? In some ways, I'm trying to salvage our friendship...would texting him again be overstepping the boundaries of an ex?

 

I'm so confused as to what to do in this situation - to contact, to wait for him to contact, or just give up?

[Lavender25]

I wouldn't contact him. It sounds like you need time to yourself to figure out what you want.

[SetFree]

I would give it more time. He knows where you are when / if he is ready to talk. If things were finalized just a week ago, he may not be ready to hear from you.

[dramallama]

I would assume that things are alright with him. He doesn't need you to check up on him. If he wanted you to check up on him and be there for him, he wouldn't have broken up with you. The ball is in his court now and you've told him how you feel. He's given you a reason (excuse) not to be with you, so I think it would be wise to read between the lines and respect his decision to not have a relationship with you. Even if you say that you want to "check up on him" as a friend, you know that you won't really be doing it as a friend, because you will have the expectation of opening dialogue so that he can ask to reconcile. But he's a big boy - he knows how to use the phone if he changes his mind. Plus it won't do you any good emotionally to stay in touch.

[Miss.Love2u]

Dont contact him I know its hard but you'll soon see its worth it its gonna take some time but you are going to be fine. You will learn that things work them sleves out when you just, take a look and take one step back. Let him figure things out but like you said, even you had a feeling that he may want you to move on. so dont wait until things die down with his family and have hope that he will come back because of that. Me personally I dont think its his family problems that made him brake up with you, he did it for some reason, he just dosent want to be honest with you why maybe he thinks it will hurt your feelings. But dont be the kind of person who waits around for someone to make there move in life that may be 100 years from now. And look at all that time you wasted and the real love of your life could have just slip right passed you while you were waiting on his call to say i love you again. be strong move on its hard but worth it find yourself in this process

[Christy416]

Thanks for the replies..I'm going to try my best to move on. It's hard, but seeing what others think, it helps somewhat. I'll try to remind myself not to contact him whenever I have the urge to

[Ms Darcy]

How was your relationship overall before the breakup?

[Christy416]

How was your relationship overall before the breakup?

 

It was good...he used to call every day or text. But now he refuses to talk and he keeps mentioning that he doesn't speak with anyone at all so I shouldn't feel bad. That little fact didn't really make me feel any better though...

[Used2BHappy]

My recent experience with my ex...we broke up after a fight...and he basically told me he needed space to consider if we were still together. I went no contact for over a week but I needed closure. I finally reached out about two weeks ago and he thanked me for the time to think but it was over. Was it painful? YES! Am I happy I reached out...YES. I needed the closure. Reading his email and his semi cold way of describing things helped me see that he and I weren't on the same level. I think sometimes we need closure if we can get it. If you can't...let it go. The best advice in life...Just let go. The universe has a way of showing us things and providing us with answers if we let go long enough and stop struggling.

[endy]

Give it 60 days or so of NC but just assume it's over. Just use it as a goal and re-evaluate what you want then. Use this time to work on yourself and better yourself for the next relationship.

[Christy416]

I think I'm going to try to keep the NC thing going. Every time I think about contacting him, I just remember how he hasn't bothered to contact me first at all. Maybe it's just not meant to be.

 

I guess I'm hurt that he can let go so easily while I'm here, struggling with my emotions and fighting off the need to hear from him. It's frustrating and a bit disheartening.

 

At this point, it's been almost 2 weeks of NC and it seems like things are just going nowhere.

[Christy416]

My recent experience with my ex...we broke up after a fight...and he basically told me he needed space to consider if we were still together. I went no contact for over a week but I needed closure. I finally reached out about two weeks ago and he thanked me for the time to think but it was over. Was it painful? YES! Am I happy I reached out...YES. I needed the closure. Reading his email and his semi cold way of describing things helped me see that he and I weren't on the same level. I think sometimes we need closure if we can get it. If you can't...let it go. The best advice in life...Just let go. The universe has a way of showing us things and providing us with answers if we let go long enough and stop struggling.

 

I had a similar experience. Only I had asked to speak through the phone and every time we spoke, it sounded like he was trying to rush through the conversation. He kept mentioning that he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to speak, or he was busy and couldn't talk. I guess thinking about it now, I'm kind of frustrated that I tried so hard and he had put in such little effort.

[betrayed911]

Well,Christy as weird as it might sound-be gratfull he is keeping NC too,my ex broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago,as soon as she saw i wasnt gonna run after her she started stalking me,asking friends about me,and at the same time towards me -acting like she doesnt care,and this gives me a really hard time letting go.One day im fine the next i have chest pain again i get mad very bad i cant be in the mall becouse i want to punch somebody in the face or pinch their eyes out-its hard ye,cant give up hope too,but something made me wake up a bit...

You see I wrote a poem for this girl,few days ago she returned the poem at the bottom she wrote ,,LIES!,,.So i think to myself wait a minute i dont write poem for every girl-this is the first poem i write to be honest and she destoed it by writing this cr*p at the bottom,so was it worth it?No it wasnt...It definatly wasnt...