SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I know facebook isnt important in the grand scheme But its like I know its over, even though he said he'll probably want to get back together with me...it's still over. I couldnt take him back or trust him again Im proud i managed to end it when I was being treated with no respect or courtesy, he never did anything nice for me, i paid for everything, he didnt do anything for valentines and he never bought me flowers....he also was a taker, took all my love, attention, gifts, cooking....i was lovely to him. I was. And he still WASNT happy with me. But I cant change fb, it makes it too final. What do you recommend...deactivating it? deleting him? blocking him? Whats the best way I feel awful btw Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I would de-friend him so you can't see his status/updates. I am sorry you feel awful. Remember that while he might have taken you made the choice to keep giving even when it wasn't a healthy choice for you so when you're feeling better it might be something for you to learn for the future -to give but from a perspective of health and confidence, not because you're insecure and walking on eggshells -that only breeds resentment. You wrote many nice things about him in your past threads and of course you're angry now but it also helps --- once you've calmed down a bit -- to understand that it's ok not to make him out to be a total jerk and still know that you two were not a good match and that you put up with disrespectful treatment and that on balance he wasn't as good to you as you deserved (but he isn't evil). I'm glad you've decided to move on - it sounds like a very healthy decision. Hang in there. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 I think all the nice stuff I wrote i was kidding myself and trying to make myself believe he was a good person when he really wasnt. My mum even commented that she could see me acting like a puppy dog doing anyting to try and please him and make him happy. I did keep giving, but I stopped giving in the end. When I said we were broken up, he hardly reacted but was like 'Im pretty sure when I've had time to think I'll want you back' He was pretty disrespectful. He ALWAYS bought up his ex, where they'd had sex, that it was better than ours, int he beginning i always used to hear him speaking to his friends about her....He also used to say very hurtful stuff then mask it as 'I cant get my words right' I made myself think that cos he text me sometimes, and didnt cheat or beat me up...that made him a good match I also know hes not evil, hes wishy washy, hot and cold, cant control his emotions and makes every decision on a whim or depending o what mood hes in. Im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and its no way to live. He has insecurity, anger and depression issues, or so he told me. He literally said if we argue again, we'll end up like him and his ex and he'll end up suicidal again Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 I always find it mega hard to process and deal break ups. They just destroy me. Link to comment
Maame Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Gosh, your story is so much like mine. In the way you described your ex - I see mine completely. he has anger control issues, say thing in the spur of the moment, can't control his temper.... he also used to say all sorts of nasty things to me just to hurt me and pay me back for the things I've done to him (so he said). And all I ever did was love him to death! Gave him everything I ever could and it still wasnt enough. I'm going to say you're better off without him just as I probably am better off without my ex but it's hard to believe it for me because feelings still run too deep. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Sapphire - You've always been so strong & supportive on these forums and have given such great advice.. look back at some of your advice pieces and get strength from them... as far as FB, rip it off like a bandaid.. just change the status AND delete him. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 It sucks when you love someone. SOmetimes you need to just sit there and write a list of all the good things about them and all the bad things, sometimes your suprised at the amount of bad things and realise that you've been taking tOO much of the blame. My ex pulled away when I was more affectionate...but accused me of not being clingy or caring enough He told me on the phone he doesnt feel loved, and I told him twenty times i love him...but he doesnt hear any nice stuff Basically the way he is/treats me, is entirely reflective of his mood/life and I cant deal with that If we cant get through one argument, well, it would never have worked out anyway. Whats your story maame? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Sapphire - You've always been so strong & supportive on these forums and have given such great advice.. look back at some of your advice pieces and get strength from them... as far as FB, rip it off like a bandaid.. just change the status AND delete him. Its cos im a seasoned pro at break ups lol. I just feel so down. Gotta go to my grandads funeral in a minute too...its just hard to believe he'd choose the night before that to rip me to shreads...not nice. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Ah its facebook? Are you serious you cant change your status? My ex dumped me the week my aunt and gran passed. (ARSEHOLE) but ah why keep him on facebook it looks weak and pathetic, trust me, you WILL feel better, get rid of him, its the bloody internet for christ sake, LIVE YOUR REAL LIFE! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Take a stack of index cards or cards - write one bad thing about him on each card and when you are feeling weak or tempted to contact go through each card. Link to comment
Maame Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 It sucks when you love someone. SOmetimes you need to just sit there and write a list of all the good things about them and all the bad things, sometimes your suprised at the amount of bad things and realise that you've been taking tOO much of the blame. My ex pulled away when I was more affectionate...but accused me of not being clingy or caring enough He told me on the phone he doesnt feel loved, and I told him twenty times i love him...but he doesnt hear any nice stuff Basically the way he is/treats me, is entirely reflective of his mood/life and I cant deal with that If we cant get through one argument, well, it would never have worked out anyway. Whats your story maame? I broke it off with my ex 2 days ago after few months of pain and suffering and him wanting to be only friends. i couldn't take the pain anymore so I finally told jim it's over 2 nights ago. Since then I've been suffering and missing him a lot, wanting to call or send him an email. Its a struggle. It really is hard when you love someone like this. Mine told I became too needy, not giving him enough space and he needs his freedom. I posted about it a lot. You can read when you feel ready to hear another sad story. Maybe it might even do you good to see you're not alone in your pain. There was just too much going on. He abandoned me when I needed him the most.... Stay strong through the funeral Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Ask your best friend, sister, brother or anyone who you can trust to do it for you. And when they do it, delete this message got on your wall not to be seen. I will be really easier 1) Ask to change your status to "Single" and then delete the message got on your wall like "Being in relationship changed to single". (Delete this message too) 2) Delete him from your contacts. Not seeing him will ease the pain. (you know the quote: "Out of sight - out of mind" Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Thanks guys. The funeral went ok. I dont get a guy who can rant and rave at me and make me feel crap when he knows I have my grandads funeral the next day. MEGA selfish. I do need to do it...is it wrong Im hurt he hasnt contacted me at all? I know I cant take him back...but ahhh Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 I broke it off with my ex 2 days ago after few months of pain and suffering and him wanting to be only friends. i couldn't take the pain anymore so I finally told jim it's over 2 nights ago. Since then I've been suffering and missing him a lot, wanting to call or send him an email. Its a struggle. It really is hard when you love someone like this. Mine told I became too needy, not giving him enough space and he needs his freedom. I posted about it a lot. You can read when you feel ready to hear another sad story. Maybe it might even do you good to see you're not alone in your pain. There was just too much going on. He abandoned me when I needed him the most.... Stay strong through the funeral What winds me up is i gave mine all the space in the WORLD and got accused of not caring, so seems you cant win! It does suck. But I guess if a relationship doesnt work out for genuine reasons,all we can do is learn from it...and eventually find the one that lasts. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 I REALLY truly thought hed realise he'd been horrible and talk to me or apologise or at least ask me how the funeral went ouch Link to comment
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