Sad and posing the question

[Mek]

I have seen the worse in divorce. There is no justice, especially if you were the one that was cheated on.

 

 

 

So I dont really know how to ask this so I'll just ask....

 

Which part of divorce was the worse for you..

 

A) The emotional losses

 

B) the financial losses

 

C) the battle for the kids

 

Please vote your answer... as I really wonder where I stand in my living nightmare.

 

-Mek

[guynextdoor]

I would say B and C. Its tough and seems like it never ends. I too was cheated on multiple times but one must stay strong for the kids.

[WildChild]

For me, A and B. Fortunately, there wasn't a battle over our children.

[john1981]

For me it was all of them but at different times... First is was financial... I built our house, meaning I did most of the work... same for the cabin.... well when it comes to divorce you get things appraised and split, I paid her more for buying her out of the cabin than I built the whole thing for etc. etc. But then money doesn;t make you happy so I'm past that, I'm living a much simpler life and its o.k. Emotionally, I am much better off and knew I would be... she was abusive to me and one of our sons (bad)... the other 2 kids we agreed on 50/50 and I am very very close to those 2 as well so I know they will tell me everything and they do... The older one stayed with me... it was only a year and he has since gone to college... For me everything is a process.... the anxiety of not really knowing my finances was hard.... I pay her a lot of money per month because my income was so much higher....... Just remember this quote " if your rich and you lost it all, you've lost nothing, if your healthy and you get ill, you've lost something, but if you lose your character you have lost everything". God bless

[Mek]

Thanks John!

 

And God Bless to you too!

 

I feel like I was raped in divorce, and its not over. The ex stole all the community money and much of mine. From what I found, the one who has and controls all the money usually wins as they can pay everyone off, unless the wife is the stay at home wife. Does this seem to be true?

 

Please pray I don't lose my sanity.

 

Thanks.

[Jetta]

The battle for our daughter, which I lost because I gave up after having a break down. Like Brittney Spears I knew I was going to lose and didn't show up for court that day, now I wish I would have anyway but I couldn't take the pressure. I've since completed my bachelor degree and am hopefully going to be a better place than I was when they kicked when while I was down. If I were vindictive (as he is) he would have had more problems in his life; only I didn't want my daughter to go to foster care so I kept quiet. He wasn't good about brushing her hair and the nurturing stuff that his wife now does and neglect is a serious charge to child protective services in our neck of the woods.

 

The financial loss was non existent because he was unemployed most of our marriage. The emotional loss is something I'm still working through 6 years later.

[lostandhurt]

It would have to be A.

 

I am closer to my son than ever and I can always make more money. Like John mentioned above most men find that a simpler life is a happier life.

 

 

Lost

[f1r3f1y3]

There was no battle for my son, she could tell that was one fight I was taking to the death and didn't even go there.

 

But definitely just dealing with him and the guilt of it was the hardest thing.

 

Emotional loss? That makes me laugh. I got more emotion from a cheese sandwich than she gave me in the final year.

[ilovemath]

A. No kids and no financial loss

[lavenderdove]

This is really splitting hairs, like saying, which is worse, a broken leg or abdominal surgery. Divorce is almost always painful, and every case is different based on the individuals and situation involved. Some people are more than emotionally ready to break away but know there will be financial problems, and others may be fine with those two but fight over the children. But most people experience problems on all three fronts since a divorce involves splitting up a relationship, splitting up finances, and splitting up custody and time with the children.

 

The best you can hope for is that you work thru it as rationally as you can without provoking your ex or engaging in useless battles where both people lose.