It appears that my ex is ignoring me when I need to talk to her about our house

[CrazyMiner]

Hi guys,

 

As some of you may be aware my ex gf of 8 years broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. We had just brought a house together around 6 months previously and now of course we have to deal with that.

 

Since the separation she has pretty much left sorting out the house to me. We met up last week for a catch up and I asked her to write a description of the house so that we could start to advertise it for rental (she doesn't want to sell it and isn't able to buy me out so for the moment this is the only option... not the best situation but hey ho!). Even writing this seemed a bit of an effort for her.

 

She sent me the description last Thursday and then called on Monday to find out if I had listed the property, and if not why not (said in a jokey way). I explained I couldn't do it until I was paid on Wednesday due to the listing fee's so she sent me the cash. I then listed it Tuesday morning.

 

I sent her an email on Tuesday afternoon to let her know that it was listed and I also put in there that I was sorry we had argued on the phone the week before and as a result had made things a bit more sour (basically I added some romantic songs to her Spotify playlist which she listens to on her iphone and when she found out she wasn't too impressed as it upset her...). As a result of the playlist thing she has definitely acted a bit colder to me recently.

 

I expected her to reply to the email to at least say that it all looked okay on the website or changes were needed and to acknowledge my apology in some way, but she hasn't. I know she checks her emails everyday so will have seen it - what do I do now? Do I email her nonchalantly and say that I need a reply to the listing matters or just leave it?

 

I'm a bit annoyed that she hasn't replied to be honest. She knows it was quite a bit of effort to get decent photo's taken and for the listing to be arranged (had to sort out rental agent visits etc). We had been trying to be friends and this was going really well until I added those songs... we were starting to connect again but now she appears to have almost completely switched off.

[WildChild]

Ok, I'm going to be honest here in my first thoughts. This isn't to put words in your mouth, or thoughts...BUT, there isn't a reason that she needs to contact you or respond. You did what you said you would, I would take it that she feels it is fine, and I don't think that everytime you do something needs a response. AND, I would imagine what has your feathers ruffled isn't because she didn't acknowledge the listing, but the fact that you apologized and you expected her to say "Oh, no prob" or "all is forgiven. " You're magnifying the situation and focusing it now being about her being rude or non appreciative about the house; but, really it's because you expected that because you apologized that she would accept it. And even if it is about the house, I'm sure she has already told you thank you prior, or showed or said some kind of appreciation prior. I would imagine she is upset, and what you did wasn't cool or funny with the music, and she probably is trying to keep a good arm's length away from you now so that you don't get any other ideas, or feelings she is interested in reconciling at this point, and so she doesn't have to deal with you more than necessary if these are the things you're going to do or how you're going to act; AND she probably will not respond to things that don't ultimately need or warrant a response. In other words, business relationship only, and that's what you need to start looking at this as, because for now, the personal relationship aspect is non existent, especially after your antic on the music end. Look at it as lesson learned, and be ready for the chilliness of her coolness towards you, because I would be doing the same thing, and if it were you in her shoes, so would you.

[mrphantuan]

thanks for sharing...............

[CrazyMiner]

thanks for sharing...............

 

Thanks, with a capital T to start with, for the pointless post.